Eric Idle movie quotes

“- Stan aka Loretta: It's every man's right to have babies if he wants them.
- Reg: But you can't have babies.
- Stan aka Loretta: Don't you oppress me.
- Reg: Where's the fetus going to gestate? You going to keep it in a box?”
Eric Idle - Stan aka Loretta
John Marwood Cleese - Reg

“Carrigan! Are you a ghost yet? Carrigan! What a tragic waste. She had my favorite sunglasses.”

Eric Idle - Paul 'Dibbs' Plutzker

“- Hieronymus Karl Frederick Baron von Munchausen: I'm Baron Munchausen!
- Berthold: That sounds nasty. Is it contagious?”
John Neville - Hieronymus Karl Frederick Baron von Munchausen
Eric Idle - Berthold

“God is very busy. He can't control all the details. He's running a franchise operation.”
Eric Idle - Brian Hope

“Life's a piece of shit when you look at it. Life's a laugh and death's a joke; it's true.”
Eric Idle - Lead Singer Crucifee

“- Harvey 'Blind' Pew: I may be blind, but I have acute earing.
- Commander Clement: I'm not interested in your jewellery, cloth eyes.”
John Marwood Cleese - Blind Pew
Eric Idle - Commander Clement

“- Brian Hope: Does the Trinity make any sense to you?
- Charlie McManus: Oh, no. No, it makes no sense to anyone. That's why you have to believe it. That's why you have to have faith. If it made sense, it wouldn't have to be a religion, would it?”
Eric Idle - Brian Hope
Robbie Coltrane - Charlie McManus

“- Brian Hope: Explain the Trinity.
- Charlie McManus: Hmmm... well, it's a bit of a bugger.”
Eric Idle - Brian Hope
Robbie Coltrane - Charlie McManus

“- Brian Hope: Look Charlie, some con men sell life insurance. The church sells afterlife insurance. It's brilliant! Everyone thinks you might need it, and no one can prove you don't.
- Charlie McManus: The church isn't selling anything, Brian.”
Eric Idle - Brian Hope
Robbie Coltrane - Charlie McManus

“If there's one thing to learn it's you just can't go wrong, if you follow your heart, and end with a song.”
Eric Idle - Narrator

“I was doomed to an eternity in the fires of hell as a Christian and a horrendous rebirth as a Hindu.”
Eric Idle - Tommy Butterfly Rainbow Peace Patel

“- Adoption Agent: She insisted that you were adopted by a member of the working class to save you from the curse of money.
- Tommy Patel: How very thoughtful...”
Bill Stewart - Adoption Agent
Eric Idle - Tommy Butterfly Rainbow Peace Patel

“- Harry Blackitt: Look at them, bloody Catholics, filling the bloody world up with bloody people they can't afford to bloody feed.
- Mrs. Blackitt: What are we dear?
- Harry Blackitt: Protestant, and fiercely proud of it.”
Graham Arthur Chapman - Harry Blackitt
Eric Idle - Mrs. Blackitt

“Cheer up, Brian. You know what they say: some things in life are bad. They can really make you mad. Other things just make you swear and curse. When you're chewing on life's gristle, don't grumble; give a whistle, and this'll help things turn out for the best. And... always look on the bright side of life...”
Eric Idle - Lead Singer Crucifee

“- Francis: Why are you always on about women, Stan?
- Stan aka Loretta: I want to be one.
- Reg: What?
- Stan aka Loretta: I want to be a woman. From now on, I want you all to call me 'Loretta'.
- Reg: What?
- Stan aka Loretta: It's my right as a man.”
Michael Palin - Francis
Eric Idle - Stan aka Loretta
John Marwood Cleese - Reg

“- Cornwall: Come on, baby, light my fire...
- Devon: You know, there's nothing more pathetic than a flame-retarded dragon.”

Don Rickles - Cornwall
Eric Idle - Devon

“- Brian Hope: Let me try and summarize this: god is his son. And his son is god. But his son moonlights as a holyghost, a holy spirit, and a dove. And they all send each other, even though they're all one and the same thing.
- Charlie McManus: You've got it. You really could be a nun!”
Eric Idle - Brian Hope
Robbie Coltrane - Charlie McManus

“- Humphrey Williams: So, just listen. Now, did I or did I not... do... vaginal... juices? Name two ways of getting them flowing, Watson.
- Watson: Rubbing the clitoris, sir?
- Humphrey Williams: What's wrong with a kiss, boy?”
Graham Arthur Chapman - Humphrey Williams
Eric Idle - Watson

“She never stopped fighting to have things her way.”

Eric Idle - Narrator

“A fairy tale also reveals some sort of truth, the perils of choices we make in our youth.”
Eric Idle - Narrator

“- Sister Superior: You stole money because you want to get out of organized crime?
- Brian Hope: Oh, it was stolen already.”
Janet Suzman - Sister Superior
Eric Idle - Brian Hope

“Honestly, darling, I'm so embarrassed. I mean to serve salmon with botulism at a dinner party is social death.”
Eric Idle - Angela

“- Devon: When we get to Camelot, we'll be kissed by the world's most beautiful women.
- Cornwall: Yeah, we're a giant talking lizard with two heads. We're gonna have to beat them off with a stick.”
Eric Idle - Devon
Don Rickles - Cornwall

“I just realized I'm not a rottweiler after all! I'm a retriever!”
Eric Idle - Waddlesworth

- Brian Hope: I thought you were supposed to be eating fish on a Friday.
- Charlie McManus: No, you're way out of date. Vatican II said we don't have to do that anymore.
- Brian Hope: Who's "Vatican II"? The deputy pope?
- Charlie McManus: Ignoramus. You can't have a deputy pope. The pope's infallible; you can't be deputy-infallible!
Eric Idle - Brian Hope
Robbie Coltrane - Charlie McManus