Eugene Levy movie quotes

“The deal is we're driving up into the jungle with a guy we don't even know who's wearing sunglasses in the middle of the night. We should hand him our wallets and slit our own throats.”
Eugene Levy - Barry Steinberg

I have to admit, you know, I did the fair bit of [hesitates] masturbating when I was a little younger. I used to call it "stroking the salam", yeah, you know, "pounding the old pud". [pause] I never did it with baked goods, but you know your uncle Mort, he pets the one-eyed snake 5-6 times a day.

Eugene Levy - Jim's Dad

“- Judge: Mr. Kane, you are one of the worst lawyers I've ever known.
- Norman Kane: Well, then I move for a mistrial.”
Stacy Keach Sr. - Judge
Eugene Levy - Norman Kane

“We didn't have MTV when I was growing up. So maybe it's the overstimulated times that we live in that causes young men to stick their... instruments in such... odd places. I knew a certain young men once who actually engaged in sexual congress with an apple pie, and he turned out just fine.”
Eugene Levy - Mr. Levenstein

- Jenny: Okay, okay, we'll pretend to be the other kids now. Hi Dory!
- Charlie: Ahoy there! Do you wanna play Hide and Seek?
- Young Dory: Okay! I love games.
- Charlie: We'll hide and you count and come find us.
- Young Dory: Okay, Daddy.
- Charlie: No, no. Not "Daddy." I'm the nice fish who wants to be your friend, okay?
- Young Dory: Okay,... (continue)(continue reading)
Diane Keaton - Jenny
Eugene Levy - Charlie
Sloane Murray - Dory

“Don't water the plants, they're plastic!”
Eugene Levy - Gerry Fleck

“- Allen Bauer: I didn't even like you when I first met you.
- Walter Kornbluth: Nobody likes me when they first meet me.”
Tom Hanks - Allen Bauer
Eugene Levy - Walter Kornbluth

“- Jim's Dad: We can't be boning from sunrise to sunset, dear.
- Michelle Flaherty: Oh, you've never tried it?
- Jim's Dad: I certainly have. I have. I've boned... from sunrise, uh, right through brunch on more than one occasion.”
Eugene Levy - Jim's Dad
Alyson Hannigan - Michelle Flaherty

“- Andy Fiddler: It's just a little flatulence.
- Derrick Vann: Just a little flatulence? An elephant can shit in the back and not smell as bad.”

Eugene Levy - Andy Fiddler
Samuel L. Jackson - Derrick Vann

“I like to have a regimen. I don't like to be fancy free.”
Eugene Levy

“One of the biggest misconceptions about me is that I'm a comedian, which I'm not.”
Eugene Levy

“- Dr. Zidell: What's happened to you? You were the brightest student in my class. True, emotionally you were twelve years old.
- Walter Kornbluth: I was twelve years old.”
Howard Morris - Dr. Zidell
Eugene Levy - Walter Kornbluth

“- Jim's Dad: It's like banging a tennis ball against a brick wall, which can be fun. It can be fun, but it's not a game.
- Jim Levenstein: Right.
- Jim's Dad: It's not a game.
- Jim Levenstein: No.
- Jim's Dad: What you want is a partner to return the ball.”

Eugene Levy - Jim's Dad
Jason Biggs - Jim Levenstein

“Elyse, you think Matt is an arrogant jock who wears his penis on his forehead just to gain the approval of his sociopathic older brother. And Matt, you think Elyse is an uptight, geeky prude who needs to, uh, loosen up a bit and get laid.”
Eugene Levy - Mr. Levenstein

“I'm really a nice guy. If I had friends you could ask them.”
Eugene Levy - Walter Kornbluth

“Nice disguise. Interesting concept. Diagonal boobs. Could you fix that thing?”

Eugene Levy - Crowley

“What's good for the economy is good for the country.”
Eugene Levy - Eugene Levy

“Now, I owe it to myself to tell you that if you're taking the whole tribe cross-country, the Wagon Queen Family Truckster... You think you hate it now, wait 'til you drive it.”
Eugene Levy - Car Salesman

“- Helen Knable: Let me get this straight. We've been sucked into some kind of TV world?
- Roy Knable: Are you saying that that salesman was...
- Crowley: Mr. Spike, Mephistopheles of the cathode ray, big brother to the ungrateful dead.”
Pam Dawber - Helen Knable
John Ritter - Roy Knable
Eugene Levy - Crowley

- Jim's Dad: Why do you think, uh, Michelle, they call it "making love"?
- Michelle Flaherty: I don't know. I just call it "boning".
- Jim's Dad: Boning? Well, when... when you're doing other things with Jim, when you're not... um... boning, how does he make you feel?
- Michelle Flaherty: Horny, like I wanna bone.
Eugene Levy - Jim's Dad
Alyson Hannigan - Michelle Flaherty

“- Howie Rottman: I'd like to dip you in Cheez Whiz and spread you all over a cracker, if I'm not being too subtle.
- Charlene Morton: Boy, you some kinda freaky!
- Howie Rottman: Oh, you have no idea. You got me straight trippin', boo!”
Eugene Levy - Howie Rottman
Queen Latifah - Charlene Morton

“- Andy Fiddler: I haven't met anyone that I didn't become friends with... eventually.
- Derrick Vann: Really? Because I haven't met anyone who's ass I didn't kick... eventually.”
Eugene Levy - Andy Fiddler
Samuel L. Jackson - Derrick Vann

“- King: First, you make Frank Sinatra wait for a table...
- Keyes: He didn't have a jacket.
- King: He's Frank Sinatra! He can wear whatever he wants!”
Chazz Palminteri - King
Eugene Levy - Keyes

“- Gerry Fleck: I can't dance, I can't dance, I've got two left feet!
- Cookie Fleck: I thought he was kidding.
- Gerry Fleck: But I wasn't. I was born with two left feet.”
Eugene Levy - Gerry Fleck
Catherine O'Hara - Cookie Fleck

“- Jim's Dad: You may be Jimbo, or Jumbo, or Jimbodini to those guys in there, but there are still two people who haven't forgotten where James Emmanuel Levenstein came from. We're awful proud of you son.
- Jim Levenstein: Thanks, Dad.
- Jim's Dad: Don't forget your penis cream.”
Eugene Levy - Jim's Dad
Jason Biggs - Jim Levenstein