Goldie Hawn movie quotes

“I've been trying since we got divorced to find the right woman for him, somebody to match up with his personality. I'm beginning to wonder if the world population isn't too limited.”

Goldie Hawn - Steffi

“- Ernest Menville: Do you know what they call someone who sticks by their word no matter what? At the cost of all else? Do you know?
- Helen Sharp: No.
- Ernest Menville: An idiot.”
Bruce Willis - Ernest Menville
Goldie Hawn - Helen Sharp

“What is this gelatinous muck? Andrew, when I tell you to pack staples, must I specify that you are to pack good caviar and not this $1.99 fish bait? Caviar should be round, and hard, and of adequate size, and should burst in your mouth at precisely the right moment.”

Goldie Hawn - Joanna

“- Annie: Tell me something about my life, Dean, something not horrible.
- Dean Proffitt: Well uh... yeah, there was that time you were working at Burger Boy, and this kid started choking on a French fry and everybody in the place panicked, including me, except you, you knew exactly what to do. You ran over to the kid and you gave him that...” (continue)(continue reading)

Goldie Hawn - Annie
Kurt Russell - Dean Proffitt

“No kiss, Nick. I'm a married woman with a Governor inside.”
Goldie Hawn - Glenda Parks

- Tony Carlson: What do you say to a bottle of wine and a couple of steaks?
- Gloria Mundy: Well, you could start by saying, "Hello".
Chevy Chase - Tony Carlson
Goldie Hawn - Gloria Mundy

“- Paula McCullen: Breasts too large, Richard? Every female character you create has breasts too large.
- Richard Babson: Mmm... but I make them suffer for it.”
Goldie Hawn - Paula McCullen
Burt Reynolds - Richard Babson

“He was a foot fetishist, it's the only group I remember him belonging to.”

Goldie Hawn - Steffi

“- Annie: What's going on here?
- Greg Proffitt: He's upset because he can't read.
- Annie: Well he's a small child.
- Greg Proffitt: He can't read for a small child either.
- Charlie Proffitt: The teacher makes fun of him.”

Goldie Hawn - Annie
Jamie Wild - Greg

“- Elise Elliot Atchison: You've always been jealous of me, even in college! Because I was blonde and beautiful, and could have any guy I wanted!
- Brenda Morelli Cushman: Could and did! All the senior class and half the faculty!
- Elise Elliot Atchison: It was the sixties.”
Goldie Hawn - Elise Elliot Atchison
Bette Midler - Brenda Morelli Cushman

“- Glenda Gardenia Parks: Chester, the only reason I made you a chauffeur is to keep you from stealing. Why are you doing this to me?
- Chester: Because I want to be as good a chauffeur as I am a stealer.
- Glenda Gardenia Parks: Well, there's a certain sincere logic in that I suppose.”

Goldie Hawn - Glenda Parks
T.K. Carter - Chester

“- Suzette: See that bathroom? Jim Morrison passed out in there one night, with me underneath him.
- Club Owner: Jim Morrison is a ghost and so are you.”
Goldie Hawn - Suzette
Adam Tomei - Club Owner

“- Rick Jarmin: I haven't had a girlfriend for 5 years.
- Marianne Graves: Really?
- Rick: Yeah - Mr. Wiggly's been on bread and water for 5 years.”
Mel Gibson - Rick Jarmin
Goldie Hawn - Marianne Graves

- Marianne Graves: You lying... gutless... son of a... yellow snodbugger, toad, bellybutton... I can"t think of enough awful things to say about you, you bastard!
- Rick Jarmin: I guess that's a 'no' on examining my butt.
Goldie Hawn - Marianne Graves
Mel Gibson - Rick Jarmin

“- Fred: What should I do, Ira?
- Governon: What should he do about what?
- Glenda Gardenia Parks: The chicken, Fred is a vegetarian and doesn't know if he should eat it.
- Dist. Atty. Ira J. Parks: Eat the chicken, Fred.”
Robert Guillaume - Fred
George Grizzard - Governor
Goldie Hawn - Glenda Parks
Charles Grodin - Ira Parks

“- Joe: Madeline was an archaeologist. She was fabulous.
- Steffi: Madeline was a nymphomaniac!
- Joe: Yeah, okay, she had a little problem with fidelity. You know, I didn't happen to see it.”
Woody Allen - Joe
Goldie Hawn - Steffi

“I hope they shoot you! I hope they shoot you in my kitchen! And when they drag your dead body out of here, I hope they shoot you again!”

Goldie Hawn - Glenda Parks

“It's The 90s, plastic surgery is like good grooming.”
Goldie Hawn - Elise Elliot Atchison

“- Judy Benjamin: My husband had a heart attack and died on our wedding night, while we were making love.
- Pvt. Mary Lou Glass: Jesus! Benjamin! I don't get it, what do you do after a thing like that?
- Judy Benjamin: Join the Army!”
Goldie Hawn - Judy Benjamin
Mary Kay Place - Pvt. Mary Lou Glass

“- Joanna: Captain Karl?
- Captain Karl: Yes, madam?
- Joanna: We've never really had time to talk.
- Captain Karl: No, we haven't.
- Joanna: Well, there's no time now.”
Goldie Hawn - Joanna
Frank Campanella - Captain Karl

- Joe: You were impossible to live with.
- Steffi: "I was impossible to live with", I love this. You couldn't figure out whether you wanted to be a psychoanalyst or a writer!
- Joe: So I compromised, I became a writer and a patient.

Woody Allen - Joe
Goldie Hawn - Steffi

“You owe me a new stop watch... you pussies!”

Goldie Hawn - Molly McGrath

“- Vice President Merck: Sunny, what are your plans?
- Sunny: I don't have any. I mean, well, I have a job at the Safari club and Lou, well, he's my boss and he's really a nice guy and everything, but business hasn't been so hot and I was kind of hoping for an advancement, you know, but the problem is that Lou's aunt works the cash register and...” (continue)(continue reading)
James Staley - Vice President Merck
Goldie Hawn - Sunny

“- Aurora De La Hoya: He took the broom and went out the back door. He didn't say what he was going to clean up.
- Glenda Gardenia Parks: Oh, shit.
- Aurora De La Hoya: Well, maybe it was.”
Yvonne Wilder - Aurora De La Hoya
Goldie Hawn - Glenda Parks

“Henri, I know this is a really awkward time to do this, but I wanna break up.”

Goldie Hawn - Judy Benjamin