John Marwood Cleese movie quotes

“I can do whatever I want. I'm eccentric.”
John Marwood Cleese - Donald P. Sinclair

“- Sydney Small Mammals: Please, this is a wild animal! You get too close, it'll give you a nasty nip!
- Rollo Lee: A safety pin would give me a nasty nip, Lotterby. I'll tell you what fierce is, fierce is biting the whole hand off!”
Robert Lindsay - Sydney Small Mammals
John Marwood Cleese - Rollo Lee

“Aliens are quite like us, except they have two sets of teeth, hyperdermic fingertips, and hypnotic eyes to control our brains and turn us into zombies and destroy our world.”
John Marwood Cleese - Professor Kiple

“- Francis: Why are you always on about women, Stan?
- Stan aka Loretta: I want to be one.
- Reg: What?
- Stan aka Loretta: I want to be a woman. From now on, I want you all to call me 'Loretta'.
- Reg: What?
- Stan aka Loretta: It's my right as a man.”
Michael Palin - Francis
Eric Idle - Stan aka Loretta
John Marwood Cleese - Reg

“He is a bit different, but people do change for the ones they love. You'd be surprised how much I changed for your mother.”

John Marwood Cleese - King

- Beatrice Stanhope: Arthur, I wish you would do something about all these monkeys. I feel like Jane Goodall.
- An Ape Named "Ape": Madam, I knew Jane Goodall and you are no Jane Goodall.

Holland Taylor - Beatrice Stanhope
John Marwood Cleese - An Ape Named "Ape"

“- Mandy Cohen: Who are you?
- Wise Man #2: We are three wise men.
- Mandy Cohen: What?
- Wise Man #1: We are three wise men.
- Mandy Cohen: What are you doing creeping around a cow shed at two o'clock in the morning? That doesn't sound very wise to me.”
Terry Jones - Mandy Cohen
Graham Arthur Chapman - Wise Man #2
John Marwood Cleese - Wise Man #1

“The first step to knowing who we are, is knowing where we are and when we are.”
John Marwood Cleese - Brian Stimpson

“- Wanda Gershwitz: Let's make love.
- Archie Leach: Well, if you absolutely insist...”
Jamie Lee Curtis - Wanda Gershwitz
John Marwood Cleese - Archie Leach

“- Reg: What's the point of fighting for his right to have babies, when he can't have babies?
- Francis: It is symbolic of our struggle against oppression.
- Reg: It's symbolic of his struggle against reality.”

John Marwood Cleese - Reg
Michael Palin - Francis

“- King: I just wish I could be the man you deserve.
- Queen: You are more that man now than you ever were, warts and all.”
John Marwood Cleese - King
Julie Andrews - Queen

“You Englishmen! You're all so fucking pompous. None of you have got any balls!”
John Marwood Cleese - Grim Reaper

“- Grim Reaper: I have come for you.
- Geoffrey: You mean to…
- Grim Reaper: Take you away. That is my purpose. I am Death.
- Geoffrey: Well that's cast rather a gloom over the evening hasn't it?”
John Marwood Cleese - Grim Reaper
John Marwood Cleese - Geoffrey

“- Chaplain: Let us praise God. Oh Lord.
- Congregation: Oh Lord.
- Chaplain: Oh, you are so big.
- Congregation: Oh, you are so big.
- Chaplain: So absolutely huge.
- Congregation: So absolutely huge.
- Chaplain: Gosh, we're all really impressed down here, I can tell you.
- Congregation: Gosh, we're all really impressed down here, I can tell...” (continue)(continue reading)
Michael Palin - Chaplain
John Marwood Cleese - Humphrey Williams

“- Brian Cohen: I am not the Messiah!
- Arthur: I say you are Lord, and I should know. I've followed a few.”
Graham Arthur Chapman - Brian Cohen
John Marwood Cleese - Arthur

“- James Bond: If you're Q, does that make him R?
- R: Ah yes, the legendary 007 wit, or at least half of it.”

Pierce Brosnan - James Bond
John Marwood Cleese - R

“So many of you orphans. Unwanted children all over the place. People were sex-mad in the 60s, seemed to do it just for fun... Weird.”
John Marwood Cleese - Raoul P. Shadgrind

“I only wanted what was best for Fiona, but I can see now she already has it.”

John Marwood Cleese - King

“- Reg: If you want to join the People's Front of Judea, you have to really hate the Romans.
- Brian Cohen: I do!
- Reg: How much?
- Brian Cohen: A lot!
- Reg: Right, you're in.”
John Marwood Cleese - Reg
Graham Arthur Chapman - Brian Cohen

“- James Bond: You know, you're cleverer than you look.
- Q: Still, better than looking cleverer than you are.”
Pierce Brosnan - James Bond
John Marwood Cleese - Q

“- Otto: You pompous, stuck-up, snot-nosed, English, giant, twerp, scumbag, fuck-face, dickhead, asshole.
- Archie Leach: How very interesting. You're a true vulgarian, aren't you?
- Otto: You are the vulgarian, you fuck.”
Kevin Kline - Otto
John Marwood Cleese - Archie Leach

- Merrill: So, when you say "go", you mean, just go?
- Donald P. Sinclair: Uh, begin, commence, start moving... theoretically you have been racing for about forty seconds now, and so far Mr. Schaffer is winning because he's nearest to the door.

Lanei Chapman - Merrill Jennings
John Marwood Cleese - Donald P. Sinclair

“- Sheriff Langston: The good citizens of Turley have taken me in their embrace and for one simple reason: I maintain the peace. So, when strangers come to town, I always ask them their business. Have you come for the hanging?
- Emmett: I'm just meeting a guy here and moving on.”
John Marwood Cleese - Sheriff Langston
Scott Glenn - Emmett

“- R: I think...
- Q: You're not here to think. You're here to do what I tell you.”
John Marwood Cleese - R
Desmond Llewelyn - Q

“If anyone ever raises the question of quality, they're immediately attacked as an elitist, because at Octopus it's considered morally offensive to talk about anything but money. All so that Mr. Rod McCain can feel a little more powerful every day.”

John Marwood Cleese - Rollo Lee