John Turturro movie quotes

“I spent my whole adult life combing the planet for aliens, and you're carrying around one in your purse like a little Chihuahua.”

John Turturro - Agent Simmons

“- Roland T. Flakfizer: Lillian, I could make love to you right here.
- Lillian Oglethorpe: Roland, let's keep this professional.
- Roland T. Flakfizer: Fine. I'll charge you fifty bucks a pop.”
John Turturro - Roland T. Flakfizer
Nancy Marchand - Lillian Oglethorpe

“I wasn't in a coma! ...Alright, I was in a coma, but it wasn't like I was in a coma and goofing off, I was thinking up hilarious new bits the whole time!”
John Turturro - Voice of Monkeybone

“- Ben Geisler: Look, are you confused? You need guidance? Talk to another writer.
- Barton Fink: Who?
- Ben Geisler: Jesus, throw a rock in here, you'll hit one. And do me a favor, Fink: Throw it hard.”
Tony Shalhoub - Ben Geisler
John Turturro - Barton Fink

“- Lou Carbone: You hate your own father!
- Paulie Carbone: I'd like to kill you, but I don't hate you.”
Anthony Quinn - Lou Carbone
John Turturro - Paulie Carbone

“Two's company, and three's an adult movie.”
John Turturro - Roland T. Flakfizer

“- Nick: Jesus Christ, I thought you Kitchen guys were tough guys.
- Terry Noonan: We're not tough, Nick! We're just crazy.”
John Turturro - Nick
Sean Penn - Terry Noonan

“- Dr. Bill Perlman: He and your wife are the only survivors I can't reach. She won't talk and he won't admit the crash was bad.
- Manny Rodrigo: Is that right? He says it was good?
- Dr. Bill Perlman: Says it was the best thing that ever happened to him.”

John Turturro - Dr. Bill Perlman
Benicio del Toro - Manny Rodrigo

“I've always found that writing comes from a great inner pain.”
John Turturro - Barton Fink

“- Agent Simmons: Nokias are real nasty. You've gotta respect the Japanese. They know the way of the samurai.
- Maggie Madsen: Nokia's from Finland.”

John Turturro - Agent Simmons
Rachael Taylor - Maggie Madsen

Flakfizer doesn't know the meaning of the word "No!". We're also a little fuzzy on "panaglutin" and "viscosity."
John Turturro - Roland T. Flakfizer

“- Walker: Why do you wanna be a doctor anyhow?
- Chris Hammond: So I can help people.
- Walker: How? By keeping them alive today so you can prolong their misery until tomorrow?”
John Turturro - Walker
Rob McElhenney - Chris Hammond

“- Jacques: Are you Roland T. Flakfizer?
- Roland T. Flakfizer: That all depends. Do I owe you money?
- Jacques: No.
- Roland T. Flakfizer: In a drunken stupor, did I promise to marry you?
- Jacques: No.
- Roland T. Flakfizer: Then I'm your man!”
Bob Nelson - Jacques
John Turturro - Roland T. Flakfizer

“They love me for the same reason they used to hate me, because I'm the guy who knows everything.”
John Turturro - Herbie Stempel

“- Carl Cody: I've taken four falls, I've never ratted anybody in my life, and I've had plenty of chances, believe me.
- Richard Chance: Masters is your friend. I don't blame you, I would never hang up a friend. Anybody who would is a piece of shit. Thing is, your friend tried to have you iced.
- Carl Cody: That doesn't mean I'm gonna roll over...” (continue)(continue reading)
John Turturro - Carl Cody
William Petersen - Richard Chance

“- Charlie Tucci: Are you fucking my sister?
- Paulie Carbone: What kind of question is that?
- Charlie Tucci: It's a good question.”
David Dundara - Charlie Tucci
John Turturro - Paulie Carbone

“- Roland T. Flakfizer: Let's step outside and settle this like men!
- Lazlo: We are outside.
- Roland T. Flakfizer: Ok, let's step inside and settle it like women.”
John Turturro - Roland T. Flakfizer
John Savident - Edmund Lazlo

“- Captain Lennox: NBEs?
- Agent Simmons: Non-Biological Extraterrestrials. Try to keep up with the acronyms.”
Josh Duhamel - William Lennox
John Turturro - Agent Simmons

“- Roland T. Flakfizer: Do you enjoy being a cab driver?
- Rocco Melonchek: Nah. As soon as I get my driver's license, I'm quitting.”
John Turturro - Roland T. Flakfizer
Mel Smith - Rocco Melonchek

“I love my wife, but it's like living with a plague of locusts.”
John Turturro - Herbie Stempel

“- Eric Masters: You have my word you won't have to do the whole nickel.
- Carl Cody: What does that mean?
- Eric Masters: Grimes is the best lawyer in the state. It'll either be an appeal bond or a sentence reduction.”
Willem Dafoe - Eric Masters
John Turturro - Carl Cody

“- Jacques: Society's to blame.
- Roland T. Flakfizer: Too much violence in the movies.
- Rocco Melonchek: It's my environment.
- Jacques: We were carrying out orders!
- Roland T. Flakfizer: It's the Japanese. They're buying up everything.
- Rocco Melonchek: Did we leave anything out?”
Bob Nelson - Jacques
John Turturro - Roland T. Flakfizer
Mel Smith - Rocco Melonchek

“I gotta tell you, the life of the mind... There's no roadmap for that territory... And exploring it can be painful.”
John Turturro - Barton Fink

“- Rocco Melonchek: You're lying.
- Roland T. Flakfizer: Of course I am, but hear me out!”
Mel Smith - Rocco Melonchek
John Turturro - Roland T. Flakfizer

“- Aleksandr Ivanovich Luzhin: There's a pattern emerging, a definite pattern. I repeat that game. I've beaten him. And his moves are repeated moves. I must keep track of every second. Every second.
- Natalia Katkov: It sounds like such a lonely battle.”

John Turturro - Aleksandr Ivanovich Luzhin
Emily Watson - Natalia Katkov