John Ritter movie quotes

“Isn't that what's wrong with the world today? People are just looking for the easy way out, like their problems are gonna go away? Problems just don't go, Flo! You know? So the question here is: what are we going to do with our little problem child? I'll tell you what we are going to do. Something that no parent has ever done for him before....” (continue)(continue reading)
John Ritter - Benjamin 'Ben' Healy, Jr.

“Dad gave me two pieces of advice. One was, 'No matter how good you think you are, there are people better than you.' But he was an optimist too; his other advice: 'Never worry about rejection. Every day is a new beginning.'”
John Ritter

“There is a God! And he's a gag-writer!”
John Ritter - Zach

“- Ben Hanscom: It was like it was supposed to be, Bev. Remember? You hit the clown, Pennywise, in the head. It broke open.
- Beverly Marsh: And underneath it was a light.
- Ben Hanscom: Bright lights.
- Bill Denbrough: Dead lights.”
John Ritter - Ben Hanscom
Annette O'Toole - Beverly Marsh
Richard Thomas - Bill Denbrough

“- Chief Warren Kincaid: What are you gonna study?
- David: Theatre arts.
- Chief Warren Kincaid: But on an athletic scholarship, right? Playing hockey?
- David: Figure skating.”
John Ritter - Chief Warren Kincaid
Gordon Michael Woolvett - David

“- Ben Healy: Junior, now you get out of this car! You are going to school.
- Junior Healy: No way I'd rather eat a turd!”
John Ritter - Ben Healy
Michael Oliver - Junior Healy

“- Zach: We both know you're not going to shoot. You couldn't hurt a fly.
- Angie: I could if I caught it fucking my hairdresser!”

John Ritter - Zach
Denise Crosby - Angie

“- Zach: Give me a suggestion because I know you've got one. I can see it in those beady little Freudian eyes.
- Dr. Westford: If an alcoholic wants me to cure him, you know what I say?
- Zach: That's a question. That's not a suggestion... Okay. What do you say?
- Dr. Westford: First, stop drinking.
- Zach: I don't get it.
- Dr. Westford: Go home...” (continue)(continue reading)
John Ritter - Zach
Michael Kidd - Dr. Westford

“My doctor was right. Doughnuts will be the death of me.”

John Ritter - Roy Knable

“Where are you going to go, your cartoon mother's house?”

John Ritter - Roy Knable

“- Molly: Zach, in the six months of living together, we had 100 arguments.
- Zach: I only counted 99.
- Molly: Okay. Out of those 99 arguments, was there ever a time that you thought I was right?
- Zach: Honestly? No.
- Molly: What does that tell you?
- Zach: That you were wrong 99 times out of 100.”
Julianne Phillips - Molly
John Ritter - Zach

“- Charles Rutledge: I really like you Christy.
- Christy Miller: Yeah, I know. Why don't we keep it that way, huh?
- Charles Rutledge: You think?
- Christy Miller: Yeah, I guess so. Why don't you kiss me anyway, it's such a nice afternoon.”
John Ritter - Charles Rutledge
Colleen Camp - Christy Miller

“- Zach: What would you do if I told you I've been celibate for six months?
- Alex: Cross my legs.”
John Ritter - Zach
Alyson Reed - Alex

“- Roy Knable: For a mouse, you, um, look pretty sexy.
- Helen Knable: Too bad you didn't like the way I looked when I was human.
- Roy Knable: I always did.
- Helen Knable: News to me.”

John Ritter - Roy Knable
Pam Dawber - Helen Knable

“- Zach: What have you got against my typewriter?
- Alex: You used to write on it. Books and plays and movies. Once, once you wrote me a poem on our 2nd anniversary and gave it to me. And you were happy. You exorcised your demons with credible thoughts and good words on that typewriter, and your talent turned me on. I really thought we had a...” (continue)(continue reading)
John Ritter - Zach
Alyson Reed - Alex

“- Garry Lejeune: Lloyd, let me just say one thing, since we've stopped. I've worked with a lotta directors, Lloyd. Some of them were geniuses, some of them were bastards. But I've never met one who was so totally and absolutely... I don't know.
- Lloyd Fellowes: Thank you Gary, I'm very touched. Now will you get off the fucking stage?”
John Ritter - Garry Lejeune
Sir Michael Caine - Lloyd Fellowes

“- Zach: I want a loving, faithful, caring, caretaking wife, and I wanna make love to everything else in long skirts, with bare feet and ripe, juicy mouths. Little boy-girls with small firm breasts and tight asses. Rubensque round women with big Mother Earth breasts and green eyes. God! I could go on and on.
- Barney: Don't. I'm getting a...” (continue)(continue reading)
John Ritter - Zach
Vincent Gardenia - Barney

“- Zach: You know what I feel like saying to you?
- Dr. Westford: Yes. You feel like telling me to go fuck myself, and you probably will, because it's your character.
- Zach: See you next Tuesday.”
John Ritter - Zach
Michael Kidd - Dr. Westford

“- Zach: You are such a prick!
- Sparky: Most of my friends are pricks.
- Zach: Most of your pricks are friends.”
John Ritter - Zach
Peter Donat - Sparky

“- Lawanda Dumore: What is that man doing?
- Ben Healy: I'm 'Big' Ben Healy. I live here.
- Lawanda Dumore: You live in that tree?”

Laraine Newman - Lawanda Dumore
John Ritter - Ben Healy

“- Lonnie: You're probably an alcoholic.
- Zach: Yep. But that's not my problem. You know what my problem is? I'm an addict.
- Lonnie: Drugs?
- Zach: Nope. Merry-go-rounds.”
Raye Hollitt - Lonnie
John Ritter - Zach

“- Lonnie: I love your sense of humor.
- Zach: And it loves you.”
Raye Hollitt - Lonnie
John Ritter - Zach

“Not being able to write is like not being able to screw.”
John Ritter - Zach

“- Nick Pirandello: You've got a sense of humor Bob... I like that in a man.
- Bob Wilson: What do you like in a woman?
- Nick Pirandello: Big tits.”
Jim Belushi - Nick Pirandello
John Ritter - Bob Wilson

“- Bob Wilson: I didn't know you smoked.
- Nick Pirandello: Just after sex, Bob. I'm trying to give it up.
- Bob Wilson: Well, at least you don't smoke that much.
- Nick Pirandello: About a pack a day.”
John Ritter - Bob Wilson
Jim Belushi - Nick Pirandello