Chico Marx movie quotes

“I wasn't kissing her, I was whispering in her mouth.
[To his wife after being caught with a chorine].”
Chico Marx

“- Otis B. Driftwood: Could he sail tomorrow?
- Fiorello: You pay him enough money, he could sail yesterday.”

Groucho Marx - Otis B. Driftwood
Chico Marx - Fiorello

“Look-a, Mr. Lyons, I know you wanna make a good impression, but-a please - don't play better than me.”
Chico Marx - Faustino the Great

“- Faustino the Great: How long you study music?
- Mr. Lyons: Fifteen years.
- Faustino the Great: Fifteen. You know, two more years you could've been a plumber?”
Chico Marx - Faustino the Great
Leon Belasco - Mr. Lyons

“- Corbaccio: What you need is a good bodyguard.
- Ronald Kornblow: What I need is a good body. The one I've got isn't worth guarding.”
Chico Marx - Corbaccio
Groucho Marx - Kornblow

“- Harry Binelli: Hurry up, before they come back. And, groan, groan, stagger about and don't die too soon! You must take your time. And you mustn't die before 11 o'clock.
- Leo Davis: Don't you worry! I'll give you the best performance you ever saw in a hotel bedroom!
- Gordon Miller: That's the spirit! Good luck, Davis. Drop dead!”
Chico Marx - Harry Binelli
Frank Albertson - Leo Davis
Groucho Marx - Gordon Miller

“- Rufus T. Firefly: Do you realize our army is facing disastrous defeat? What do you intend to do about it?
- Chicolini: I've done it already.
- Rufus T. Firefly: You've done what?
- Chicolini: I've changed to the other side.”
Groucho Marx - Rufus T. Firefly
Chico Marx - Chicolini

“- Fiorello: I haven't heard anything yet. Did you say anything?
- Otis B. Driftwood: Well, I haven't said anything worth hearing.”

Chico Marx - Fiorello
Groucho Marx - Otis B. Driftwood

“- Captain Jeffrey Spaulding: I used to know a fellow who looked exactly like you by the name of Emanuel Ravelli. Are you his brother?
- Signor Emanuel Ravelli: I am Emanuel Ravelli.
- Captain Jeffrey Spaulding: Well, no wonder you look like him. But I still insist there is a resemblance.”
Groucho Marx - Captain Jeffrey Spaulding
Chico Marx - Signor Emanuel Ravelli

“Right now I'd do anything for money. I'd kill somebody for money. I'd kill you for money. Ha ha ha. Ah, no. You're my friend. I'd kill you for nothing.”

Chico Marx - Chico

“- Signor Emanuel Ravelli: How do you want to play? Honest?
- Mrs. Whitehead: Well, I hope so!”

Chico Marx - Signor Emanuel Ravelli
Margaret Irving - Mrs. Whitehead

“- Leo Davis: You've been in jail?
- Harry Binelli: Sure, it's'a not so bad. You behave and they make you a trustee.”
Frank Albertson - Leo Davis
Chico Marx - Harry Binelli

“- Gordon Miller: Too soon, too soon, he died too soon.
- Harry Binelli: An hour too soon.”
Groucho Marx - Gordon Miller
Chico Marx - Harry Binelli

“- Harry Binelli: No, he doesn't believe in shirts!
- Gordon Miller: Ah, he's an atheist!”

Chico Marx - Harry Binelli
Groucho Marx - Gordon Miller

“- Chicolini: I think we should have a standing army.
- Rufus T. Firefly: Why should we have a standing army?
- Chicolini: Because then we save money on chairs.”
Chico Marx - Chicolini
Groucho Marx - Rufus T. Firefly

“- Otis B. Driftwood: Go fast. I can see a man with a rope out there.
- Fiorello: How we happen to come to America is a great story, but I no tell that.”

Groucho Marx - Otis B. Driftwood
Chico Marx - Fiorello

“- Professor Quincy Adams Wagstaff: How much do we owe you?
- Baravelli: Two thousand dollars.
- Professor Quincy Adams Wagstaff: Two thousand dollars for ice? I can get an Eskimo for two hundred dollars and make my own ice.”

Groucho Marx - Professor Quincy Adams Wagstaff
Chico Marx - Baravelli

“We no take gasoline, we no take the airplane. We take steamship. And that, friends, is how we fly across the ocean.”

Chico Marx - Fiorello

“- Rufus T. Firefly: You're on the other side, eh? Well, what are you doing over here?
- Chicolini: Well, the food is better over here.”
Groucho Marx - Rufus T. Firefly
Chico Marx - Chicolini

“- Harry Binelli: I like-a love.
- Gordon Miller: I like it too; but, there's a time and place for everything.
- Harry Binelli: I like it anytime.”
Chico Marx - Harry Binelli
Groucho Marx - Gordon Miller

“- Tony: Hey doc, can you see us?
- Dr. Hackenbush: If I can't there's something wrong with my glasses.”
Chico Marx - Tony
Groucho Marx - Dr. Hackenbush

“- Prosecutor: War would mean a prohibitive increase in our taxes.
- Chicolini: Hey, I got an uncle lives in Taxes.
- Prosecutor: No, I'm talking about taxes - money, dollars!
- Chicolini: Dollars! There's-a where my uncle lives! Dollars, Taxes!”
Charles Middleton - Prosecutor
Chico Marx - Chicolini

“- Waiter: Would you like to have anything before lunch?
- Chico: Yes, breakfast.”
William H. O'Brien - Waiter
Chico Marx - Chico

“Rusty, I no like the West. All the people do is kill each other. I like a the West better if it was in the East.”

Chico Marx - Joe Panello

“- Professor Quincy Adams Wagstaff: Baravelli, is this your picture?
- Baravelli: I don't think so. It no look like me.”

Groucho Marx - Professor Quincy Adams Wagstaff
Chico Marx - Baravelli