Martin Hayter Short movie quotes

“- Jessica: Sir, your wife called. She won't be able to make it to the show tonight.
- Dr. Desmond Forest Oates: Did she say why?
- Jessica: It was hard to understand through the slur.”
Jeanie Calleja - Jessica
Martin Hayter Short - Dr. Desmond Forrest Oates

“- Hubie: Everybody knows that penguins can't fly!
- Rocko: You're wrong! You are dead wrong! Our ancestors flew! They gave us wings when we can't fly?! I mean, I mean whose idea of a cruel joke is this?”
Martin Hayter Short - Hubie
Jim Belushi - Rocko

“- Dr. Rudy Blatnoyd, D.D.S.: Ms. Fenway may appear a little psychotic today.
- Denis: Groovy.
- Dr. Rudy Blatnoyd, D.D.S.: What?
- Denis: It's groovy being insane man, where you at?”
Martin Hayter Short - Dr. Rudy Blatnoyd, D.D.S.
Jordan Christian Hearn - Denis

“- Michael Cromwell: I should probably take some pictures of Mimi.
- Richard Kempster: I can never have enough pictures of my kids. I have like, four hundred albums. I never look at them, but they exist... it's good, you know?”
Tim Allen - Michael Cromwell
Martin Hayter Short - Richard Kempster

“I think loss can fuel how you lead your whole life.”
Martin Hayter Short

“I have sometimes imagined my own death and brought myself to tears.”
Martin Hayter Short

“- Captain Ron: We're getting into pirate waters, here, pretty quick.
- Martin Harvey: What pirates?
- Captain Ron: Pirates, of the Caribbean.
- Martin Harvey: Been to Disney World, one too many times? Have we, Captain Ron?”
Kurt Russell - Captain Ron
Martin Hayter Short - Martin Harvey

“I got on the train to run away, but a person tried to touch my no-no special place! And when I got back, there were bikers here. And they tied me up, Uncle Martin, and then they told me stories that they do on their bikes. Some of them were fun but some of them were scary!”
Martin Hayter Short - Clifford Daniels

“- Martin Daniels: You tell Sarah that you and I are the best of friends.
- Clifford Daniels: And we are, aren't we?
- Martin Daniels: Shut up.”
Charles Grodin - Martin Daniels
Martin Hayter Short - Clifford Daniels

“Keep icing your front bum. Swelling continues if you don't ice. And I need you... not really.”
Martin Hayter Short - Dr. Desmond Forrest Oates

“Bill Shakespeare was a wonderful poet. But Burt Bacharach he ain't.”
Martin Hayter Short - Dr. Desmond Forrest Oates

“I remember what the wonderful Bobby De Niro said to me. Well, not to me, I read it in an article.”
Martin Hayter Short - Dr. Desmond Forrest Oates

“- Dr. Desmond Forest Oates: That was fun. Who was the composer on that?
- Kelly: Me, actually.
- Dr. Desmond Forest Oates: Oh, I'm sorry, were you expecting applause?”
Martin Hayter Short - Dr. Desmond Forrest Oates
Kirsten Dunst - Kelly Woods

“- Martin Harvey: We don't know how to drive a boat.
- Captain Ron: The best way to find out Kitty is to get her out on the ocean. If anything is going to happen , it's going to happen out there.”
Martin Hayter Short - Martin Harvey
Kurt Russell - Captain Ron

“- Woman Cop: Do you know what kidnapping her will get you?
- Ned Perry: Yeah, her.”

Lee Garlington - Woman Cop
Martin Hayter Short - Ned Perry

- Martin Daniels: He says he doesn't wear a wig, and a person doesn't take it as a compliment if you say, "nice wig".
- Clifford: But I didn't say "nice wig", Uncle Martin, I said "bestest-looking wig". I believe there is a difference.
Charles Grodin - Martin Daniels
Martin Hayter Short - Clifford Daniels

“- Gang Kid: Ya gotta problem? Lozer?
- Franck Eggelhoffer: No we do not have a problem, so leaf us alone!
- Gang Kid: Leaf? What are you? A tree?”
Rodrigo Botero - Gang Kid
Martin Hayter Short - Franck Eggelhoffer

“One wish per customer and no wishes for more wishes. They plugged that loophole up years ago. In past years there were abuses.”
Martin Hayter Short - Murray

“- Clifford Daniels: I love you, Uncle Martin.
- Martin Daniels: And I love you too, Clinton.
- Clifford Daniels: Clifford.”
Martin Hayter Short - Clifford Daniels
Charles Grodin - Martin Daniels

“I'm starting to see my life pass in front of my eyes! At least, I think it's my life. Was I ever dancing with an android named Lupé?!”
Martin Hayter Short - B.E.N.

“- Dr. Greenbush: Good news Jack! I think we can rule out demonic possession right off the bat.
- Jack Putter: But, the little voice from inside was talking to me.
- Dr. Greenbush: See, that proves it: demons talk through you - not to you.”
William Schallert - Dr. Greenbush
Martin Hayter Short - Jack Putter

“- Clifford Daniels: I'd say I'm the happiest boy in the whole wide world, Uncle Mental Case.
- Martin Daniels: I'm the mental case? You're the one in the strait jacket.”
Martin Hayter Short - Clifford Daniels
Charles Grodin - Martin Daniels

“Mr. Landers, how nice of you to join us. And thanks for not showering. What a super instinct.”
Martin Hayter Short - Dr. Desmond Forrest Oates

“- Jack Putter: How do you treat that?
- Dr. Greenbush: Well the medieval remedy was to flay the skin off your body with brands of fire. I have no idea what the current technique is.”

Martin Hayter Short - Jack Putter
William Schallert - Dr. Greenbush

“- Hubie: I wonder how far it is to Antarctica.
- Rocko: 3000 miles in that direction. But you'll never get there. I'll give it three days tops and you'll be in the belly of anything, from a killer whale to a sardine!”
Martin Hayter Short - Hubie
Jim Belushi - Rocko