Paul Rudd movie quotes

“- Chuck: I once saw him beat a guy up with a starfish!
- Peter Bretter: That's ridiculous.
- Chuck: That guy was me.”
Paul Rudd - Chuck
Jason Segel - Peter Bretter

“I just have one question... Who are you, who is she, what the hell is going on here, and can I go back to jail now?”
Paul Rudd - Ant-Man

“- Andy: You French great.
- Lindsay: You're not so bad yourself, Mr. Man. ”
Paul Rudd - Andy
Elizabeth Banks - Lindsay

“I have a nickname for my penis. It's called the Octagon, but I also nick named my testes: my left one is James Westfall and my right one is Doctor Kenneth Noisewater. You ladies play your cards right you just might get to meet the whole gang.”
Paul Rudd - Brian Fantana

“Laters on the menjay.”
Paul Rudd - Peter Klaven

“Theater is the most enriching and thrilling thing to do as an actor.”
Paul Rudd

“I can, and do, walk the street. No one bothers me or anything, because most people wouldn't know who I am.”
Paul Rudd

“I'm sure that my wanting to be an actor had to do with a need for approval.”
Paul Rudd

“- Debbie: Hey, I have a really good idea. Why don't the two of you get into your time machine, go back in time and fuck each other.
- Pete: Who needs a time machine?”

Leslie Mann - Debbie
Paul Rudd - Pete

“- Lucy: In the five years we've known each other, have you once even ever considered having sex with me? Apart from tonight. You don't think I'm attracted to you.
- Kevin: I don't think you're attracted to half the men you sleep with.”
Courtney Love - Lucy
Paul Rudd - Kevin

“- Barry Simms: There is help for people like you. It's called electroshock therapy. C'mon, you don't really believe Michael Myers is actually alive?
- Tommy Doyle: Micahel's work isn't done in Haddonfield, and soon, very soon, he'll come home to kill again. But this time I'll be ready.”
Leo Geter - Barry Simms
Paul Rudd - Tommy Doyle

“- David: You know how I know you're gay?
- Cal: How?
- David: You like Coldplay.”
Paul Rudd - David
Seth Rogen - Cal

“- Chuck: I don't know, I quit wearing a watch when I moved out here
- Peter Bretter: That is so cool.
- Chuck: My cell phone has a clock so I don't need it.
- Peter Bretter: Oh, so it's basically the same thing.”
Paul Rudd - Chuck
Jason Segel - Peter Bretter

“- Wheeler: This may be a stupid question. The Get Out of Jail Free Card: Is that real?
- Beth: That's not a stupid question.
- Danny: It's real in the game of Monopoly.
- Wheeler: But Monopoly is based on true events.”
Seann William Scott - Wheeler
Elizabeth Banks - Beth
Paul Rudd - Danny

“- Lisa: What sort of trouble are you in George?
- George: Ah, well ah... simply put... ah, I'm currently unemployed, my girlfriend recently broke up with me, ehm, I will soon run out of money and, er, I'm the target of a federal investigation.
- Lisa: Wow, you are a real chick magnet, aren't you.”
Reese Witherspoon - Lisa
Paul Rudd - George

“- Homer Wells: I've never actually seen a lobster.
- Candy Kendall: Are you serious?
- Homer Wells: I've never seen the ocean either.
- Wally Worthington: You've never seen the ocean? That's not funny, that's serious.”
Tobey Maguire - Homer Wells
Charlize Theron - Candy Kendall
Paul Rudd - Wally Worthington

“- Pete: Don't talk to me about responsibilities. I have a life. I have a family. I can't afford to sit in my apartment getting high, jerking off, and then going to Tommy's Chili Burgers at three o'clock in the morning.
- Ronnie: That's not even the order that happens in!”
Paul Rudd - Pete
Chris O'Dowd - Ronnie

“- Kevin: I'm just gonna go home and kill myself. You wanna share a cab?
- Lucy: So I can pass out and wake up alone on New Year's Day?”
Paul Rudd - Kevin
Courtney Love - Lucy

“- Ron Burgundy: Brian, I'm gonna be honest with you, that smells like pure gasoline.
- Brian Fantana: They've done studies, you know. 60% of the time, it works every time.
- Ron Burgundy: That doesn't make sense.”

Will Ferrell - Ron Burgundy
Paul Rudd - Brian Fantana

“- Cal: You're gay, now?
- David: No, I'm not gay. I'm just celibate.
- Cal: I think... I mean, that sounds gay.”
Seth Rogen - Cal
Paul Rudd - David

“I love your sweater. Does that come in a V-neck?”

Paul Rudd - David

“- Homer Wells: I was wondering if you could give me a ride.
- Wally Worthington: Sure. I'd be glad to. A ride where?
- Homer Wells: Where you going?
- Wally Worthington: We're heading back to Cape Kenneth.
- Homer Wells: Cape Kenneth? That sounds fine.”
Tobey Maguire - Homer Wells
Paul Rudd - Wally Worthington

“I gotta tell you something. I'm really excited about it. Uh, for the first time today, I woke up, I came to the store, and I feel confident to say to you that if you don't take this Michael McDonald DVD that you've been playing for two years straight off, I'm going to kill everyone in the store and put a bullet in my brain.”

Paul Rudd - David

“- Brian Fantana: She was Brazilian, or Chinese, or something weird. I met her in the bathroom of a K-Mart and we made out for hours. Then we parted ways, never to see each other again.
- Ron Burgundy: I'm pretty sure that's not love.
- Brian Fantana: Damn it.”

Paul Rudd - Brian Fantana
Will Ferrell - Ron Burgundy

“- Peter Klaven: You need a plastic bag?
- Sydney Fife: Oh, no. I don't clean up after my dog. Dog poop is like a compost. It's got a ton of nutrients that enrich the soil.
- Peter Klaven: But we're on pavement.”
Paul Rudd - Peter Klaven
Jason Segel - Sydney Fife