Seth Rogen movie quotes

I just want you to know this is, like, the first conversation of, like, three conversations that leads to you being gay. Like, there's this and then in a year it's like: "oh, you know, I'm kinda gonna want to get back out there, but I think I like guys", and then there's the big "oh, I'm... I'm... I'm a gay guy now".
Seth Rogen - Cal

“- Red: You see this? You see that? There's no hair under here, bro.
- Dale Denton: What's the significance of that?
- Red: It makes me aerodynamic when I fight. I can take danger.”

Danny McBride - Red
Seth Rogen - Dale Denton

“- Ben Stone: Do you want to do it doggie style?
- Alison Scott: You're not going to fuck me like a dog.
- Ben Stone: It's doggie style. It's just the style. We don't have to go outside or anything.”
Seth Rogen - Ben Stone
Katherine Heigl - Alison Scott

“- Dale Denton: Why don't you go fuck yourself, you weird little prick?
- Mr. Edwards: I'm a teacher, okay? You can't talk to me like that, guy.
- Dale Denton: I'm not a student, so I can say whatever the fuck I want, you chimp-fucking little bastard.”
Seth Rogen - Dale Denton
Joe Lo Truglio - Mr. Edwards

“- Alison Scott: I'm pregnant.
- Ben Stone: Pregnant... with emotion?
- Alison Scott: Pregnant with a baby.”
Seth Rogen - Ben Stone
Katherine Heigl - Alison Scott

“- Pete: Just don't ask me to lend you any money.
- Ben Stone: Can I just - have some?”
Paul Rudd - Pete
Seth Rogen - Ben Stone

“Couscous: the food's so nice they named it twice.”
Seth Rogen - Dale Denton

“- Officer Michaels: How old are you McLovin?
- Fogell: Old enough.
- Officer Slater: Old enough for what?
- Fogell: To party.”
Seth Rogen - Officer Michaels
Christopher Mintz-Plasse - Fogell
Bill Hader - Officer Slater

“Prepare to be fucked by the long dick of the law!”
Seth Rogen - Officer Michaels

“- Horton: And Morton, for being the only one who stood by me. Well not right by me; he hid in the bushes sending me good thoughts. He's small.
- Morton: Dude, you are a warrior poet.”

Jim Carrey - Horton
Seth Rogen - Morton

We went to Tijuana, Mexico, you know? And we thought it would be fun, you know, to go to a show. Everybody says "you gotta check out one of these shows". And... it's a woman fuckin' a horse. We get there and we think it's gonna be awesome and... it is not as cool as it sounds like it's gonna be. It's kinda gross.
Seth Rogen - Cal

“- Red: I'm trying to decide how stoned I am and just how on the verge of death am I right now. Like, am I seeing shit because I'm stoned or because I have no blood left in my body.
- Dale Denton: Well, you've been shot like seven times.”
Danny McBride - Red
Seth Rogen - Dale Denton

“It's only a matter of time until the clouds part and the sun shines down. They'll be here soon and my mission will be complete. I will leave a mark so big that it will be felt for years to come, and history will remember my name.”
Seth Rogen - Ronnie

“- Dale Doback: Okay, I'll be honest with you. I did fart.
- Sporting Goods Manager: Is that onion? Onion and... Onion and ketchup. It stinks. And this is a small room.”
John C. Reilly - Dale Doback
Seth Rogen - Sporting Goods Manager

“- Debbie: Sadie might have the chicken pox.
- Jason: I had the chicken pox three times. I have no immunity to it.
- Ben Stone: We don't have the heart to tell him it's herpes.
- Jason: It's not herpes if it's everywhere.”
Leslie Mann - Debbie
Jason Segel - Jason
Seth Rogen - Ben Stone

“- Robert: Are you high?
- Dale Denton: What? No!
- Shannon: You are high as a fucking kite!”
Ed Begley Jr. - Robert
Seth Rogen - Dale Denton
Nora Dunn - Shannon

- Officer Michaels: McLovin, how is it going with the ladies?
- Fogell: It's not the "going" I'm worried about... but the "coming".
Seth Rogen - Officer Michaels
Christopher Mintz-Plasse - Fogell

- Paula: I'll probably re-watch "Gandhi".
- Cal: "Gandhi" baked is good. I always feel bad when I watch it baked because I get really hungry and I'm eating a lot and poor Gandhi is starving his ass off.

Jane Lynch - Paula
Seth Rogen - Cal

- Cal: The problem most men have is they don't know how to talk to women.
- Andy: You know what my problem is? I am not interesting. What am I supposed to say? I went to magic camp? That I'm an accomplished ventriloquist? Oh, I am the Seventh Degree Imperial Yo-Yo Master. "Ooh, do me, Yo-Yo Master, I want you to do me cause you're the yo-yo guy!".
Seth Rogen - Cal
Steve Carrell - Andy

- David: You know how I know that you're gay?
- Cal: How?
- David: You have a rainbow bumpersticker on your car that says, "I love it when balls are in my face".
- Cal: That's gay?
Paul Rudd - David
Seth Rogen - Cal