Steve Zahn movie quotes

“I still really love acting. I find it really challenging. And I really love film; it's a lot of fun.”
Steve Zahn

“I'm not a leading guy.”
Steve Zahn

“This is like some kinda prehistoric Internet.”

Steve Zahn - Fuller

“- Peter Gaulke: I need you to take an inventory of everything's that left, okay? Go! Now!
- Whitaker: Uh, okay. We got one sleeping bag, so I think we're pretty much fucked.”
Steve Zahn - Peter Gaulke
Kevin Heffernan - Whitaker

“Don't fall in with any rough necks or we'll have to hang you.”

Steve Zahn - Gus McCrae

“Sharks are only found in two places on earth: the northern and southern hemishperes.”
Steve Zahn - Peter Gaulke

"Bears are large and brown". Alright, come on. Not all bears are large. How about baby bears, huh?

Steve Zahn - Peter Gaulke

“- Peter Gaulke: I should've never hired you!
- Cooker: That's the most un-American thing I've ever heard in my life!”
Steve Zahn - Peter Gaulke
Jonah Hill - Cooker

“- Al Giordino: You know my dad collected ancient coins, from Rome, China, Siam, Persia... somehow they all ended up in a shoe box in New Jersey.
- Dirk Pitt: Meaning?
- Al Giordino: Coins travel, Dirk.”
Steve Zahn - Al Giordino
Matthew McConaughey - Dirk Pitt

“- Wayne: She didn't like the way his ass looked, so she made him get butt cheek implants.
- J.D.: I thought his ass looked tighter!”

Steve Zahn - Wayne
Jack Black - J.D.

“- Mac: Hey, you can handle this report tonight, can't you? I gotta thing I gotta do.
- Randy: It's a blonde thing or a brunette thing?”
Steve Zahn - Mac
Eric Christian Olsen - Randy

“- Quentin Cooke: I thought the house of God was open to all people at all times.
- Padre Pablo: It is. But God is not at home right now.”
Steve Zahn - Quentin
José María Negri - Padre Pablo

- Mr. White: This "Oneders", with the O-N-E, it doesn't work. It's confusing. From now on, you boys'll just be... simply "The Wonders".
- Lenny Haise: As in, I wonder what happened to the "O'Needers"?
Tom Hanks - Mr. White
Steve Zahn - Lenny Haise

“- Jimmy Mattingly: She told me never trust a label. And I'm beginning to believe her.
- Lenny Haise: Well, sure. I mean, come on. They put us up in a first class hotel, all expenses paid, while our record climbs the charts; bunch of lyin' snakes.”
Johnathon Schaech - Jimmy Mattingly
Steve Zahn - Lenny Haise

“- Stuart Little: You know where we can find him?
- Monty: You don't wanna find him. You don't want anything to do with him. Trust me. He'd eat you so fast, you'd be a pile of falcon poop before you could yell for help.”
Michael J. Fox - Stuart Little
Steve Zahn - Monty

“Those balls are sensational. To a lion, these balls are called a sack lunch.”

Steve Zahn - Peter Gaulke

“- J.D.: I'm a mime! I'm a mime! Ha ha ha!
- Wayne: Dude, mimes don't talk.
- J.D.: They do when they're off duty.”

Jack Black - J.D.
Steve Zahn - Wayne

“- Peter Gaulke: Luckily, we caught that on tape so that man will be honored.
- Ed Lawson: You want to honor the man by showing him being killed by an alligator on your wildlife show?”

Steve Zahn - Peter Gaulke
Jeff Garlin - Ed Lawson

“- Harry Sawyer: So we're gay. How hard can that be?
- Wayne Wayne Wayne Jr.: It might not be hard for you, Rock Hudson, but I have got heterosex...
- Harry Sawyer: What?
- Wayne Wayne Wayne Jr.: 'Not gay' written all over me.”
Jeremy Northam - Harry
Steve Zahn - Wayne

“- J.D.: Well, you didn't know a lot of things. You didn't know I was gay.
- Wayne: Is there anything else you wanna tell me?
- J.D.: I got three balls.
- Wayne: Shut up! God!”
Jack Black - J.D.
Steve Zahn - Wayne

“These birds are saying howdy to the zebra. Actually, they're not saying howdy. They're eating the shit out of him.”
Steve Zahn - Peter Gaulke

“- Whitaker: Hey, wait a minute. These are the fish that ate Dick, right?
- Peter Gaulke, Cooker: Yeah!
- Whitaker: Alright, so go with me here. If Dick is in the fishes, and we're eating the fishes, doesn't that mean we're eating Dick?”
Kevin Heffernan - Whitaker
Steve Zahn - Peter Gaulke
Jonah Hill - Cooker

“- Dr. John Dolittle: You'll be the most famous bear in the world!
- Archie: Bigger than Pooh?
- Dr. John Dolittle: If you get this right, everybody will be saying Winnie the Who!”
Eddie Murphy - Dr. John Dolittle
Steve Zahn - Archie

You know how it is when you see someone that you haven't seen since high school, and they got some dead-end job, and they're married to some woman that hates them, they got three kids who, like, think he's a joke? Wasn't there some point where you stood back and said: "Bob, don't take that job! Bob, don't marry that harpy!". You know?

Steve Zahn - Al Giordino

“- Wayne: You're not gay... you're just confused.
- J.D.: Yes, I am gay. Oh hey! Do you wanna be gay with me?”
Steve Zahn - Wayne
Jack Black - J.D.