Steve Zahn movie quotes

"It is estimated that bears kill over two million salmon a year. Attacks by salmon on bears are much more rare". Right, that's got to be true, right?

Steve Zahn - Peter Gaulke

“- Jack: Betting money on terminal cases? Even Manson would call bullshit on this freak show! Get out of here! God!
- Dorff: Free country! Love it or leave it!”
Steve Zahn - Jack
Jay Leggett - Dorff

“Monkeys make up over 80% of the world's monkey population.”
Steve Zahn - Peter Gaulke

“Well, as far as I'm concerned, the Internet is just another way of being rejected by women.”
Steve Zahn - George Pappas

“Oh, I'm not here with these fellas. I've got a pig in competition over at the livestock pavilion, and I am gonna win that blue ribbon!”

Steve Zahn - Lenny Haise

“Just remind yourself that in a hundred years you're gonna be dead. It's the closest thing I've got to a philosophy.”
Steve Zahn - Fuller

She said there are four stages of consciousness development: stage one is when you're like a kid, everything is new, nothing really bothers ya, you're not self conscious but you're little; stage two is the existential stage when you like become aware of your own existence, you look around, everything seems hopeless. You're like "What's the point... (continue)(continue reading)

Steve Zahn - Freak

“- David Keenan: You're so full of shit!
- Freak: It's just some shit my mom told me; you use it as you will.”

Josh Hamilton - David Keenan
Steve Zahn - Freak

“- Hank Rafferty: Do you actually believe the crap that comes out of your mouth?
- Earl Montgomery: I'm not really sure until I'm finished talkin'.”
Steve Zahn - Hank Rafferty
Martin Lawrence - Earl Montgomery

“Falcons are vicious. They grab you by the back of the neck and carry you so high you can't even see the ground, and then they drop you. And by the time you hit the pavement, they just drink what's left through a straw.”
Steve Zahn - Monty

“- Wayne: I'm in a related field.
- Judith: Really? What is it?
- Wayne: Pest and rodent removal.
- Judith: How is that related?
- Wayne: We both help people.”

Steve Zahn - Wayne
Amanda Peet - Judith

“Hey, Paulie. You probably don't remember me. My name is Kresk. You used to beat the hell out of me at Our Lady of Peace Elementary.”
Steve Zahn - Kresk

“- Wayne Wayne Wayne Jr.: Maybe we are tailors. We travel from town to town, tailoring dresses, for circus midgets.
- Harry Sawyer: Traveling midget tailors?
- Wayne Wayne Wayne Jr.: Yeah, ya think?
- Harry Sawyer: No.”
Steve Zahn - Wayne
Jeremy Northam - Harry

“You come anywhere near these girls again, I won't say nothin'. I'm just gonna come over to your house late at night when you're asleep and kill you with a chainsaw.”

Steve Zahn - Wayne

“Twas Beauty that killed the Beast.”
Steve Zahn - Runt of the Litter

“- Monty: Snow, what are you doin'? Come on, he's just a mouse!
- Snowbelll: He's not just a mouse. He's... He's family.”

Steve Zahn - Monty
Nathan Lane - Snowbell

“- Receptionist: How long have you been wearing such tight pants?
- Lenny Haise: Hey, if that's a pick-up line we're a match made in heaven.”
Steve Zahn - Lenny Haise

“- Coach: You ate her?
- Wayne: Yeah, we ate her.
- J.D.: Alive.
- Coach: My hat goes off to you. You boys are smart; that's the perfect crime.”
R. Lee Ermey - Coach
Steve Zahn - Wayne
Jack Black - J.D.

“- Lewis: You should call home every once in a while. You know, when you don't need bail money?
- Fuller: Yeah, but how often is that?”
Paul William Walker IV - Lewis
Steve Zahn - Fuller

- Ray Hasek: Please marry me, Bev. Because I'm shit without you.
- Beverly Donofrio: Oh, how romantic, a marriage proposal that contains the word "shit”.
Steve Zahn - Ray Hasek
Drew Barrymore - Beverly Donofrio

“- Lelaina Pierce: Hey, Sammy, what's your goal?
- Sammy Gray: My goal is... I'd like a career or something.”
Winona Ryder - Lelaina Pierce
Steve Zahn - Sammy Gray

“If you ever leave me with a kid again I'll make sure you never have one. You have no idea what those screaming booger eaters are like. They expect you to... know stuff!”
Steve Zahn - Wayne

“- Buff: I've been making these tapes, you know, video tapes. I ripped off a camcorder up at the mall and I thought, you know, it could be something that I do, be a video artist, you know.
- Tim: Ladies and gentlemen, Buff, the postmodern idiot savant. He willl outdo us all.”
Steve Zahn - Buff
Nicky Katt - Tim