“No Cure For Cancer” quotes

“I take music pretty seriously. You see that scar on my wrist? You see that? You know where that's from? I heard the Bee Gees were getting back together again. I couldn't take it.”
Denis Colin Leary - Himself

“I love living in New York, man, and people who live in New York, we wear that fact like a badge right on our sleeve because we know that fact impresses everybody! I was in Vietnam. So what? I live in New York!”
Denis Colin Leary - Himself

“Smoking takes ten years off your life. It's the ten worst years, isn't it folks? It's the ones at the end! It's the wheelchair, kidney dialysis, adult diaper fucking years.”
Denis Colin Leary - Himself

“We live in a country where John Lennon takes six bullets in the chest, Yoko Ono was standing right next to him, not one fucking bullet! Explain that to me God!”
Denis Colin Leary - Himself

“This is the most exciting place in the world to live. There are so many ways to die in New York City! Race riots, drive by shootings, subway crashes, construction cranes collapsing on the sidewalks, manhole covers blowing up and asbestos shooting into the sky.”
Denis Colin Leary - Himself

It doesn't matter how big the warnings on the cigarettes are; you could have a black pack, with a skull and crossbones on the front, called tumors, and smokers would be around the block going, "I can't wait to get my hands on these fucking things! I bet ya get a tumor as soon as you light up".
Denis Colin Leary - Himself

“The filter's the best part. That's where they put the heroin.”

Denis Colin Leary - Himself

“Every time you hear about some famous guy overdosing on drugs, it's always some really talented guy. It's always like Len Bias, or Janis Joplin, or Jimi Hendrix, or John Belushi. You know what I mean? The people you wanna have overdose on drugs never would! Like Motley Crue would never fucking overdose man, never!”
Denis Colin Leary - Himself

“This is America! I want a bowl of raw red meat, right now! Forget that! Bring me a live cow over to the table! I'll carve off what I want and ride the rest home!”
Denis Colin Leary - Himself

Most people think, "Life sucks, and then you die". I disagree. I think life sucks. Then you get cancer. Then you go into chemotherapy. You lose all your hair, you feel bad about yourself. Then all of the sudden the cancer goes into remission, and then all of the sudden you have a stroke. You can't move your right side. And then, maybe, you die.
Denis Colin Leary - Himself

“My parents used to beat the living shit out of me, okay? And I'm glad they did, and I'm looking forward to beating the shit out of my kids!”

Denis Colin Leary - Himself

“Not eating meat is a decision. Eating meat is an instinct!”
Denis Colin Leary - Himself

“I'd like to sing a song about the American Dream. About me. About you. The way our American hearts beat down in the bottom of our chests. About the special feeling we get in the cockles of our hearts, maybe below the cockles, maybe in the sub-cockle area. Maybe in the liver. Maybe in the kidneys. Maybe even in the colon, we don't know.”
Denis Colin Leary - Himself

“I'd like to do some cocaine. I'd like to do a drug that makes my penis small, makes my nose bleed, makes my heart explode, and sucks all my money out of the bank.”
Denis Colin Leary - Himself

We tried to be nice to you non-smokers. You wanted your own sections in the restaurants. We gave you that. But that wasn't enough for you. Then you wanted the airplanes. We gave you the whole godamn plane! You happy now? I will guarantee you if the plane is going down, the first announcement you're gonna hear is: "Folks, this is your Captain... (continue)(continue reading)
Denis Colin Leary - Himself

“Life sucks, get a fucking helmet!”

Denis Colin Leary - Himself

“You all have that friend who's quitting it. I quit smoking. I quit drinking. I quit meat, and I feel great. I get up in at six in the morning and have a nice big bowl of oat bran. Then I go to the bathroom for three and a half hours. I eat another bowl of oat bran and go back into the bathroom for six more hours. All I do is eat and shit, I'm...” (continue)(continue reading)
Denis Colin Leary - Himself

“There we were in the middle of a sexual revolution wearing clothes that guaranteed we wouldn't get laid.”
Denis Colin Leary - Himself

Remeber that friend in High School, who wanted to make bongs out of everything? Making bongs out of apples and oranges and shit. One day you find your friend goin' "Hey look, man, I made a bong out of my head! Put the pot in this ear and suck it out of this one, go on take a hit".
Denis Colin Leary - Himself

“New York teaches you to live life the way it should be lived. Moment to moment. Because every moment in New York could be your last. You could be walking down the street tomorrow, feeling good about yourself, drink free, drug free, looking forward to the future and somebody accidentally nudges their poodle off of a 75th floor ledge. And he's...” (continue)(continue reading)
Denis Colin Leary - Himself

“You know why the French hate us so much? Thay gave us the croissant. And you know what we did with it? We turned it into our croissandwich, thank you very much.”
Denis Colin Leary - Himself

“Happiness comes in small doses folks. It's a cigarette butt, or a chocolate chip cookie or a five second orgasm. You come, you smoke the butt, you eat the cookie, you go to sleep, wake up and go back to fucking work the next morning.”
Denis Colin Leary - Himself

“Heavy metal bands on trial because kids commit suicide, what is that about? Judas Priest on trial because my kid bought the records, and he listened to the lyrics, and he go into Satan...”
Denis Colin Leary - Himself

“I'm sick and tired of our generation being called the TV generation. What do you expect? We watched Lee Harvey Oswald get his brains blown out all over. How could we change the channel after that?”
Denis Colin Leary - Himself

I tried eating vegetarian. I felt like a wimp going into a restaurant. When they ask me what I want, I say: "What do you think I want? This is America. I want a bowl of raw red meat right now".
Denis Colin Leary - Himself