Adoption quotes

“- Matilda: I have the adoption papers.
- Mrs. Wormwood: What? Where did you get those?
- Matilda: From a book in the library. I've had them since I was big enough to xerox.”
Mara Wilson - Matilda
Rhea Perlman - Mrs. Wormwood

“Your criteria are so far up your ass, they can't see daylight! This is bullshit!”

James Caan - Frank

“- Annie: Close your eyes. Think about your folks.
- Molly: You're the only one who really has folks. Mine are dead.
- Annie: Think about the folks who want to adopt you, because want a little girl with brown hair and brown eyes.”
Aileen Quinn - Annie
Toni Ann Gisondi - Molly

“- Mrs. Knowles: The point is, we establish criteria for parenting, and an ex-convict compared to other desirables...
- Frank: Great, so we'll take a kid that's not so desirable. You got a black kid? We'll take a black kid. You got a chink kid?
- Mrs. Knowles: You don't seem to understand...
- Frank: Nobody likes older kids. You got an eight-year...” (continue)(continue reading)

Marge Kotlisky - Mrs. Knowles
James Caan - Frank

“- Daddy Warbucks: I wanna talk to you about Annie.
- Miss Hannigan: You wanna return her and forget her? Or trade up?
- Daddy Warbucks: I wanna adopt her.”
Albert Finney - Daddy Warbucks
Carol Burnett - Miss Hannigan

“We're gonna adopt a whole shitwhack of kids, and I am thankful that whoever has a problem with it can fuck right off!”
Rose Byrne - Ellie

“If you're willing to love these kids who need a mom and dad and somebody has a problem with that, you just ask them how many goddamn kids they've adopted.”
Octavia Spencer - Karen

“- Harriet Wilson: Given Luce’s background, you and Peter should have confronted fairly a number of challenges. The language barrier, the tradition shock.
- Amy Edgar: I imply you don’t pull a child out of a warzone and have him end up like Luce with out a number of assist.
- Harriet Wilson: Which is why that is so tough.
- Amy Edgar:...” (continue)(continue reading)
Octavia Spencer - Harriet Wilson
Naomi Watts - Amy Edgar

“- Green Aliens: You have saved our lives. We are eternally grateful.
- Mrs. Potato Head: You saved their lives? My hero! They're so adorable. Let's adopt them!”

Jeff Pidgeon - Green Aliens
Estelle Harris - Mrs. Potato Head

“- Bad Ape: Who is child?
- Caesar: I don't know.
- Bad Ape: But... she with you.
- Caesar: She has no one else.”
Steve Zahn - Bad Ape
Andy Serkis - Caesar

“If you were my brother, I'd put myself up for adoption.”

Amy O'Neill - Amy Szalinski

“- Leigh Anne Tuohy: I'd like to become a legal guardian.
- CPS Welfare Worker: God help that child!”
Sandra Bullock - Leigh Anne Tuohy
Maria Howell - CPS Welfare Worker

“After the tragic death of your father, I married your mother promising her I would raise you as my own. You chose not to take the Maggio name. I did not complain. And when you wanted to go to Beauty School, as boys who lose their fathers early in life often do, I did not snivel at interventions, did I?”
Christopher Walken - Salvatore 'Sal' Maggio

- Juno MacGuff: No, I heard you. I just, like, don't want to give the baby to a family that describes themselves as "wholesome". Well, I don't know, I just want something a little more edgier.
- Leah: Okay, well what did you have in mind?
- Juno MacGuff: I was thinking more, like, graphic designer... mid thirties, you know, with a cool Asian... (continue)(continue reading)
Ellen Page - Juno MacGuff
Olivia Thirlby - Leah

“Don't breed, don't buy, don't even accept giveaways.”
John Hoyt

“- Mother: Navin, it's your birthday, and it's time you knew. You're not our natural-born child.
- Navin: I'm not? You mean I'm gonna stay this color?”

Mabel King - Mother
Steve Martin - Navin

“Adopt, what. I don't want to adopt. Not with my genes. I have award winning genes.”
Woody Allen - Lenny

“- Adoption Agent: She insisted that you were adopted by a member of the working class to save you from the curse of money.
- Tommy Patel: How very thoughtful...”
Bill Stewart - Adoption Agent
Eric Idle - Tommy Butterfly Rainbow Peace Patel

“- Christof: In competition with five other unwanted pregnancies, the casting of a show determined by an airdate, Truman was the one who arrived on cue.
- Mike Michaelson: Incidentally, I believe Truman is the first child to have been legally adopted by a corporation?
- Christof: That's correct.”

Ed Harris - Christof
Harry Shearer - Mike Michaelson

“- Miss Hannigan: Just let me make sure I heard you right Miss Personal Secretary to The Oliver Warbucks. My Annie is going to be adopted by your millionaire?
- Miss Grace Farrell: Actually, he's a billionaire.”
Kathy Bates - Miss Agatha Hannigan
Audra McDonald - Grace Farrell

“- Adoption agency official: I'm afraid I have some difficult news for you, Miss Crawford. The agency has denied your application for adoption.
- Joan Crawford: Why?
- Adoption agency official: Well... you live alone. There are no other family members in the home. You have two previous divorces. You're a busy, active woman, and the candidate is...” (continue)(continue reading)
Faye Dunaway - Joan Crawford

They said we had to wait five years for a healthy white baby. I said, "healthy white baby? Five years? What else you got?". Said they got two Koreans and a negra born with his heart on the outside. It's a crazy world.
Sam McMurray - Glen

“- Space Hanlon: So you're gonna adopt a baby?
- Lola Burns: I'm not gonna kidnap one!
- Space Hanlon: For minute there you had me thinkin' you were going in for independent production!”
Lee Tracy - Space Hanlon
Jean Harlow - Lola Burns

“- Marilyn: Cool is adorable. Adorable! Why didn't you write us when you had a son?
- Larry: I didn't know myself until a couple of months ago. You see, a few years ago, I was living in Vegas with this girl. Showgirl. She was in that show 'Elvis On Ice'. Anyhow, we drifted apart, as people do in these complicated times, and then a couple of...” (continue)(continue reading)
Eileen Ryan - Marilyn
Tom Hulce - Larry

“- Sonny Koufax: I got some interesting news.
- Lenny Koufax: Oh yeah, what?
- Sonny Koufax: I kind of adopted a kid.
- Lenny Koufax: What the hell are you talking about?
- Sonny Koufax: I'm talking about you being a grandfather! Congratulations!”
Adam Sandler - Sonny Koufax
Joseph Bologna - Lenny Koufax