Adultery quotes

“- Fletcher Reede: Oh, come on! Your honor, how can it be proved that the male voice on that tape is not Mr. Cole himself?
- Samantha Cole: [voice on tape] You are such a better lover than my husband!
- Fletcher Reede: Your honor, I object!
- Judge Marshall Stevens: And why is that, Mr. Reede?
- Fletcher Reede: It's devastating to my case!”

Jim Carrey - Fletcher Reede
Jennifer Tilly - Samantha Cole
Jason Bernard - Judge Marshall Stevens

“- Mortdecai: Oh, my darling, I tried desperately to be unfaithful to you, I really did. But I just couldn't do it.
- Johanna: It's a terrible moment when you finding yourself falling in love with your own spouse, isn't it?
- Mortdecai: Now that is the look that softens every bone in my body, except one”
Johnny Depp - Mortdecai
Gwyneth Paltrow - Johanna

“- Bors: I like the little bastards. They mean something to me. Especially Number Three! He's a good fighter!
- Lancelot: That's because he's mine.”

Ray Winstone - Bors
Ioan Gruffudd - Lancelot

“I can't make it to my best friend's old lady.”
Tom Cruise - Brian Flanagan

“- Fletcher Reede: I was hoping after being married to me you'd have no more strength left.
- Audrey Reede: Well, you have to remember that when we were married, I wasn't having sex nearly as often as you were.”
Jim Carrey - Fletcher Reede
Maura Tierney - Audrey Reede

“- Little Bill: What the fuck are you doing?
- Little Bill's wife: Go away, Bill, you're embarrassing me.”

William H. Macy - Little Bill
Nina Hartley - Little Bill's Wife

“- Sara: So how'd you meet him?
- Casey: I was in La Perla just buying some weekend thongs.
- Sara: And he was doing likewise?
- Casey: No. Actually he said he was buying something for his mom.
- Sara: His mom? Casey, who buys high-priced lingerie for their mother?”
Eva Mendes - Sara
Will Smith - Hitch

“- Richard Twat: I trust you've slept well?
- Mr. Johnson: We had rather a rough night, actually.
- Richard Twat: Ah well, the perils of adultery.”
Rik Mayall - Richard Twat
Bill Nighy - Mr. Johnson

“Ms. Alvarez, forty-eight hours ago my husband's penis was in another woman's mouth. I don't think there's anything in the law that can help me with that.”
Caroline Goodall - Susan Hendler

“- Jack Shaw: Don't think of it as cheating on your wife. Think of it as... fuckin' for your flag.
- Amos: When in doubt, close your eyes and think of England.”
Donald Sutherland - Jack Shaw
Ben Kingsley - Amos

“- Sammy: I don't know what the Church's official position is on fornication and adultery these days, and I felt really hypocritical not saying anything to you about it before, but... what is the official position these days?
- Ron: Well... it's a sin.
- Sammy: Good, I think it should be!”
Laura Linney - Sammy
Kenneth Lonergan - Ron

- Capt. T.C. Doyle: You slept with the wife of General "Kill-'em-all-and-let-God-sort-them-out" Richardson?
- David Poole: I thought it was his daughter.
- Capt. T.C. Doyle: Oh yeah, he would've been fine with that.
Ray Liotta - Capt. T.C. Doyle
Denis Colin Leary - Lt. David Poole

“- Gus Klein: So your wife had an affair. You've never had an affair, Mr. Merrick?
- Dan Merrick: As a matter of fact, I have. But I'm not sure with who.
- Gus Klein: That could keep a guy on his toes, huh?”
Bob Hoskins - Gus Klein
Tom Berenger - Dan Merrick

“You kissed him! At My Parents’ house! On my wedding day!”
Cameron Diaz - Kimberly Wallace

“- Mr Neville: That was ingenious.
- Mrs. Talmann: Since when has adultery been ingenious? You are ridiculous, Mr. Neville.”
Anthony Higgins - Mr Neville
Anne-Louise Lambert - Mrs. Talmann

“- John Beckwith: How long have you and the Secretary been married?
- Kathleen Cleary: 30 years next April.
- John Beckwith: That's beautiful.
- Kathleen Cleary: Yeah. And we were faithful for two of them.”
Owen Wilson - John Beckwith
Jane Seymour - Kathleen Cleary

“- Georgia King: What on earth was he thinking of?
- Emma Rae: Probably the same thing he was thinking with.”

Gena Rowlands - Georgia King
Kyra Sedgwick - Emma Rae King

“- Ned: You can stand here with me if you want but you'll have to agree not to talk about the heat.
- Matty: I'm a married woman.
- Ned: Meaning what?
- Matty: Meaning I'm not looking for company.
- Ned: Then you should have said I'm a happily married woman.”
William Hurt - Ned Racine
Kathleen Turner - Matty Walker

“- Joey: I cheated on my wife.
- Priest: You committed adultery?
- Joey: Yes
- Priest: How many times?
- Joey Boca: Uh... 5 times the last 2 weeks... wait, no, that's wrong... it was uh... it was uh, 4 times this week, uh... with 3 women, and uh... 3 times last week with 2 other women... wow... plus one of the women from this week was the same as...” (continue)(continue reading)
Kevin Kline - Joey
Art Cahn - Priest

“You see that couple here? Well, he's having an affair with the babysitter and she can eat a pound cake in under a minute.”
Dianne Wiest - Aunt Jet

“- Steven M. Kovacs: Just get out. I don't ever want to see you again. Robin is never going to forgive me!
- The Cable Guy: Well, I'll tell you how you handle that: don't tell her.”

Matthew Broderick - Steven M. Kovacs
Jim Carrey - The Cable Guy

“I have good looking kids; thank god my wife cheats on me.”
Rodney Dangerfield

“No kiss, Nick. I'm a married woman with a Governor inside.”
Goldie Hawn - Glenda Parks

“If he's stupid enough to cheat, the world should know he's dumb enough to get caught.”
Eva Mendes - Sara

“- April Wheeler: What's the point? Is it supposed to make me jealous or something? Is it supposed to make me fall in love with you or back into bed with you or what? What would you like me to say Frank?
- Frank Wheeler: Why don't you say what you feel, April?
- April Wheeler: I don't feel anything.
- Frank Wheeler: In other words, you don't care...” (continue)(continue reading)

Kate Winslet - April Wheeler
Leonardo DiCaprio - Frank Wheeler