Cooking quotes

“I don't know why they call this stuff hamburger helper. It does just fine by itself, huh?”
Randy Quaid - Cousin Eddie

“- Kathryn Davis: I hope you like chicken. It's the only thing I know how to make.
- Paul Kersey: Chicken's good. I like chicken.”
Deborah Raffin - Kathryn Davis
Charles Bronson - Paul Kersey

“- Dr. Bailey: How have you been feeling?
- Corinne Jeffries: Fantastic. It was Louie's birthday on Saturday. I baked him a cake with little cherries on it.
- Dr. Bailey: I thought we agreed that you were going to stop cooking for him.
- Corinne Jeffries: It was his birthday. It makes me happy to feed him. The Egyptians fed their dead.
- Dr....” (continue)(continue reading)
James Noble - Dr. Bailey
Cybill Lynne Shepherd - Corinne Jeffries

“- Gramps: If you're gonna be hanging around the house, I need to know two things.
- Nurse: What are those?
- Gramps: Can you make huevos rancheros?
- Nurse: Oh, I can manage that.
- Gramps: Good. Now, what's your story on menopause, huh?
- Nurse: I always pause for men, Harry.”

Ray Walston - Gramps

“- Stoney: Kashmere, Rashmere, how many minutes for the burito again?
- Kashmir: 1 minute.
- Rashmere: 2 minutes.
- Kashmere: 1 and 1/2 minute.
- Stoney: Ahh! Make up your mellons, is it 1 or 2?
- Kashmere: 1 and 1/2 minute.”
Pauly Shore - Stoney Brown
Gerry Bednob - Kashmir
Erick Avari - Raji

“Look, we all know home-ec is a joke, no offense, it's just that everyone takes this class to get an A, and it's bullshit, and I'm sorry. I'm not putting down your profession, but it's just the way I feel.”

Jonah Hill - Seth

“The day there's a meteorite heading toward the earth and we have thirty days to live, I am going to spend it eating butter. Here's my final words on the subject: you can never have too much, butter.”
Amy Adams - Julie Powell

“Keep cooking like that and I won't even be able to move, let alone do science.”

Larry Blamire - Dr. Paul Armstrong

“- Henry Hill: [narrating] I felt he used too many onions, but it was still a very good sauce.
- Paul Cicero: Vinnie, don't put too many onions in the sauce.
- Vinnie: I didn't put too much onions, uh, Paul. Three small onions. That's all I did.
- Johnny Dio: Three onions? How many cans of tomatoes you put in there?
- Vinnie: I put two cans, two...” (continue)(continue reading)
Ray Liotta - Henry Hill
Paul Sorvino - Paul Cicero
Charles Scorsese - Vinnie
Frank Pellegrino - Johnny Dio

“- Sissy: Well, I just thought we'd go to McDonald's.
- Bud: Dammit, McDonald's again?”
Debra Winger - Sissy
John Travolta - Bud

“- Sardu: Time to recoup your energy. Ralphus has made some chicken soup for you. There. He made it especially for you.
- Natasha Di Natalie: Mmm.
- Sardu: Delicious?
- Ralphus: My mother taught me. I used the whole chicken. The secret is cooking it alive.”
Seamus O'Brien - Sardu
Viju Krem - Natasha Di Natalie
Luis De Jesus - Ralphus

“After reading a lot of overheated puffery about your new cook, you know what I'm craving? A little perspective. That's it. I'd like some fresh, clear, well seasoned perspective. Can you suggest a good wine to go with that?”

Peter O'Toole - Anton Ego

“I'm trying to cook you guys a decent meal. You can't be living off burgers and pizza.”

Beau Bridges - Sam Woods

“- Bernice: What you want for dinner?
- Odell: You mean, what do I want, or what do I want that you can cook?
- Bernice: Well, in that case, where are you taking me?
- Odell: Yeah, what do you want to have?
- Bernice: You mean, what do I want, or what do I want that you can afford?”
Renn Woods - Bernice
Steve James - Odell

“- Jenny Nguyen: Why do you want to make the turkey taste like everything else we eat?
- Trinh Nguyen: Why do you want everything you eat to taste like MacDonald's?”
Kristy Wu - Jenny Nguyen
Joan Chen - Trinh Nguyen

“- Roger Murtaugh (Lethal Weapon): Hey, Riggs, you really like my wife's cookin'?
- Martin Riggs (Lethal Weapon): Nope, I'll see you tomorrow.”
Danny Glover - Roger Murtaugh
Mel Gibson - Martin Riggs

“Well you're gay aren't you? I thought gay men were able to cook!”
Mena Suvari - Vanessa

“You bring in a sous chef from an Italian restaurant and I'm the one in therapy?”

Catherine Zeta-Jones - Kate

“Mommy, I don't want to go to school today. I wanna stay home and bake cookies with you!”
Dee Bradley Baker - Daffy Duck

“It's the recipes that you create yourself that are the best.”

Bob Balaban - Therapist

“Can't believe they're my blood. I.Q. of sloths and the manners of banshees. He's a mechanic, she's a homemaker. He knows as much about cars as a beauty queen, and she bakes cookies, taste like wing nuts. As for the tots, they're twits.”
Al Pacino - Lieutenant Colonel Frank Slade

“- Turkish: What's happening with them sausages, Charlie?
- Sausage Charlie: Five minutes, Turkish.
- Turkish: It was two minutes five minutes ago.”

Jason Statham - Turkish
Peter Szakacs - Sausage Charlie

“- Ida Smith: Funny lookin' critters, aren't they, Vincent?
- Vincent Smith: Yeah maybe so. But you know as well as I do. It takes all kinds of critters to make Farmer Vincent's fritters!”
Nancy Parsons - Ida Smith
Rory Calhoun - Vincent Smith

“- Meowth: I'm starving.
- Jessie: I can cook something!
- Meowth: Thanks, but the last time you cooked, you wiped out eight of my nine lives.”
Madeleine Blaustein - Meowth
Rachael Lillis - Jessie

“You are useless Ignacio! Your only job is to cook. Do you not realize I have had diarrhea since Easters?”

Enrique Muñoz - Señor Ramon