Cooking quotes

“- Johnny Dangerously: Whatcha cookin' here ma?
- Ma Kelly: Beer.
- Johnny Dangerously: With noodles! Great idea!”

Michael Keaton - Johnny Dangerously
Maureen Stapleton - Ma Kelly

“- Helen: Tod?
- Tod: Yeah?
- Helen: Do you want me to make you breakfast?
- Tod: No thanks, Julie will.
- Helen: Great. I'll get the fire extinguisher.”

Dianne Wiest - Helen
Keanu Reeves - Tod

“- Woman in Restaurant: Monsieur, is this what I ordered?
- Secondo: Yes, that is the Risotto. It is a special recipe that my brother and I bring from Italy. It's delicious, I promise.
- Woman in Restaurant: It took so long, I thought you went back to Italy to get it.”
Caroline Aaron - Woman in Restaurant
Stanley Tucci - Secondo

“- Inspector Tarconi: I'm French!
- Hoffman: So?
- Inspector Tarconi: We don't need to know someone for longtime, you know, to cook for them... It's our way of breaking the ice.”
François Berléand - Inspector Tarconi
Tim Ware - Hoffman

“- Tara Boumdeay: I speak perfect English. I also cook 815 international dishes, perform 637 sexual acts, use all the popular home appliances. Shall I cook you something.
- Chad Finletter: No. Thank you.
- Tara Boumdeay: How 'bout a blow job, maybe iron your pants?”
Karen M. Waldron - Tara Boumdeay
Anthony Starke - Chad Finletter

“I can't make caviar out of fish eggs!”
Jon Lovitz - Sol

“- Vic: In light of Earl's feelings, I think it would be best if we left.
- Enid Keese: Oh, no, no. Sit down, sit down. Let's finish this magnificent meal. Don't worry about Earl. He'll get over his feelings.
- Vic: He spurned my sauce!
- Enid Keese: No, he loves your sauce. He's just jealous, he can't cook.”
Dan Aykroyd - Vic
Kathryn Walker - Enid Keese

“- Mama: Boy didn't marry her for her cooking...
- Randy Sue Carter: He didn't marry me, period.”
Rosetta LeNoire - Mama
Caroline Aaron - Randy Sue Carter

“- Miles Logan: Put your hands on the Oodles of Noodles.
- Tulley: Chicken or beef?
- Miles Logan: Chicken. Cool. Cool is good.
- Tulley: Miles?
- Miles Logan: Tulley? What are you doing?
- Tulley: I'm freaking working over here.”
Martin Lawrence - Miles Logan
Dave Chappelle - Tulley

“- Stymie: Porky, you sure know how to make a sand-wich!
- Porky: That wasn't sand, that was kitty litter.
- Buckwheat: Don't worry, it's pretty fresh.”
Kevin Jamal Woods - Stymie
Zachary Mabry - Porky
Ross Bagley - Buckwheat

- President Matt Douglas: A cookbook. He wrote a cookbook. How dare he?
- Joanna: Well, you know, when he was President, he did cook for his guests all the time.
- President Matt Douglas: That's not the point. Did George Washington write a book called "Your Wooden Teeth and You?" Did William Howard Taft write "Thirty Days To A Slimmer Ass?" It's... (continue)(continue reading)
James Garner - President Matt Douglas
Marg Helgenberger - Joanna

“C'mon, George! We're starvin'! Where are those lovely scones your mother makes?”
Gary Bakewell - Paul McCartney

“- Doolittle Lynn: Make many pies, Loretta?
- Loretta Lynn: Naw, this is the first one.
- Doolittle Lynn: How much salt that recipe call for?
- Loretta Lynn: Shoot, you don't put salt in a pie! You put in flour and eggs and sugar and... oh no.
- Doolittle Lynn: Makes sense though; salt and sugar are both white.”

Tommy Lee Jones - Doolittle Lynn
Sissy Spacek - Loretta Lynn

“- Glenda Gardenia Parks: Don't make me crazy, I can't cook when I'm crazy.
- Dist. Atty. Ira J. Parks: I'm not making you crazy...
- Glenda Gardenia Parks: Yes, you are! Anyone who forces me to make Chicken Pepperoni is making me crazy, and you are making me crazy!”
Goldie Hawn - Glenda Parks
Charles Grodin - Ira Parks

“- Kate Wheeler: I'll make dinner.
- Terry Collins: I cook the dinners around here.
- Kate Wheeler: Sorry. Not familiar with the outlaw code.”
Cate Blanchett - Kate Wheeler
Billy Bob Thornton - Terry Collins

- Kirk: What are you doing?
- Spock: I am preparing to toast a marsh melon.
- McCoy: Well, I'll be damned. A marsh melon. Where'd you learn to do that?
- Spock: Before leaving the ship, I consulted the computer library to familiarize myself with the customs associated with "camping out".
- McCoy: Well, tell me, Spock. What do you do after we... (continue)(continue reading)
William Shatner - James T. Kirk
Leonard Nimoy - Spock
DeForest Kelley - McCoy

“- Nyarth: I'm hungry.
- Musashi: I have a frying pan.
- Nyarth: Without meat or vegetables, that's just a plate of iron.”
Inuko Inuyama - Nyarth
Megumi Hayashibara - Musashi

“You can have the whole goddamn fuckin' shit, man! You can kiss my ass in the county square cause I'm fuckin' buggin' out! I didn't come here for this! I don't fuckin' need it, I don't want it! I didn't get out of the goddamn Eighth grade for this kinda shit! All I wanted to do was fuckin' cook! I just wanted to learn to fuckin' cook, man!”

Frederic Forrest - Jay 'Chef' Hicks

“From the look of my soup I'd say someone in your kitchen has a serious hair loss problem.”

Rupert Everett - Lord Rutledge

“Anyway, like I was sayin', shrimp is the fruit of the sea. You can barbecue it, boil it, broil it, bake it, saute it. Dey's uh, shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo. Pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried. There's pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp...” (continue)(continue reading)
Mykelti Williamson - Bubba Blue

“- Knox: What are you cooking?
- Col. Ives : It's, uh... stew.
- Knox: Need any help?
- Col. Ives : No, no, no. Perhaps later you might... contribute.”

Stephen Spinella - Knox
Robert Carlyle - Col. Ives

“Here's where we separate the men from the boys.”

John Candy - Buck Russell

“That poor girl. Lurch, was she in there before you baked? C'est la vie!”

Raul Julia - Gomez Addams

“We're cooking here. This is a stew, a gumbo, a jambalaya, if you will. We're just jamming.”
George Wendt - Film Producer

“- Barney: I don't get it. I marry Annabelle and I spend my honeymoon with you.
- Sunshine: Well, I can cook.”
Frank McHugh - Barney
William Demarest - Sunshine