Internet quotes

“This is like some kinda prehistoric Internet.”

Steve Zahn - Fuller

“- Vladislav: Leave me to do my dark bidding on the internet!
- Viago: What are you bidding on?
- Vladislav: I am bidding on a table.”
Jemaine Clement - Vladislav
Taika Waititi - Viago

“I love this internet. It's part fantasy, part community, and you get to pay your bills naked.”
Stockard Channing - Dolly

“- Deacon 'Deke' Kaye: We need to sell that shit on eBay.
- Jim Street: I only have one.
- Deacon 'Deke' Kaye: We'll split the profits fifty-fifty, corner the market. Break 'em down like a shotgun, The Polish Penetrator!”

LL Cool J - Deacon 'Deke' Kaye
Colin Farrell - Jim Street

“- Marion Fitzwater: What are you doing?
- Robin McAllister: Surfin' the net.
- Marion Fitzwater: The what?
- Robin McAllister: The internet. Us nerds can access information from all over the world. Inside information if you know what you're doing.”
Sarah Chalke - Marion Fitzwater
Devon Sawa - Robin McAllister

“You know if no one was watching right now, you'd just be sitting in water. But the whole world wants to watch you die, and they don't even know you.”

Joseph Cross - Owen Reilly

“- Uncle Rico: What about your girlfriend?
- Kip: Well, things are getting pretty serious right now. I mean, we chat online for, like, two hours every day so I guess you could say things are gettin' pretty serious.”
Jon Gries - Uncle Rico
Aaron Ruell - Kip

“- Ted: Linda, what do you really know about this guy?
- Linda Litzke: I told you, he's in the Treasury Department.
- Ted: But eh, no, I mean, you know... he could be one of these guys that cruises the Internet.
- Linda Litzke: Yeah, so am I...”
Richard Jenkins - Ted
Frances McDormand - Linda Litzke

“- Aggie Cromwell: So this world wide web I've heard about...
- Marnie Piper: Mhmm?
- Aggie Cromwell: Does it involve spiders?
- Marnie Piper: Grandma, I think it's time we started your training.”
Debbie Reynolds - Aggie Cromwell
Kimberly J. Brown - Marnie Piper

“What's the point in having an Internet connection if you're not using it to look up weird, fucked-up pictures of dirty sex you'll never have yourself?”
Jeff Anderson - Randal

“- Nicole: Do you live alone, Inspector?
- Clouseau: Yes, I do.
- Nicole: Do you ever get lonely?
- Clouseau: No. Not since the Internet.”
Emily Mortimer - Nicole
Steve Martin - Clouseau

“Well, as far as I'm concerned, the Internet is just another way of being rejected by women.”
Steve Zahn - George Pappas

“Soon to be the most popular video on YouTube.”

Aaron Yoo - Ronnie

- Sherman Schrader: It was your idea to put "acceptance is just one click away"!
- Bartleby Gaines: Yeah, you put it as "one click away"! You don't make it... clickable!
Jonah Hill - Sherman Schrader
Justin Long - Bartleby Gaines

“I got copies. Now either you give me a ride or this baby hits the internet.”

Andrew Lawrence - T.J. Detweiler

“- Dewey Riley: When did she start smoking?
- Randy Meeks: Ever since those nude pictures on the internet.
- Gale Weathers: It was just my head, it was Jennifer Aniston's body!”
David Arquette - Dewey Riley
Jamie Kennedy - Randy Meeks
Courteney Cox - Gale Weathers

“- Uncle Rico: Kip, I reckon... you know a lot about... cyberspace? You ever come across anything... like time travel?
- Kip: Easy, I've already looked into it for myself.”
Jon Gries - Uncle Rico
Aaron Ruell - Kip

“- Kathleen Kelly: Is it infidelity if you're involved with somebody on email?
- Christina Plutzker: Have you had sex?
- Kathleen Kelly: No, of course not! I don't even know him.
- Christina Plutzker: No, I mean cyber sex.
- Kathleen Kelly: No.
- Christina Plutzker: Well, you know what? Don't do it, 'cause the minute you do, they lose all respect...” (continue)(continue reading)
Meg Ryan - Kathleen Kelly
Heather Burns - Christina Plutzker

“- Steve Stifler: Fuck me! There's gonna be an Eastern European chick naked in your house and you're not going to do anything about it?
- Jim Levenstein: What am I supposed to do Stifler, broadcast her over the internet?
- Steve Stifler: Yeah!”
Seann William Scott - Steve Stifler
Jason Biggs - Jim Levenstein

“- Alex Munday: The real mechanism is inside encased in a titanium shell, if you trip the external feedback circuit the bomb will detonate.
- Jason Gibbons: Wow! You know for a bikini waxer you know an awful lot about bombs.
- Alex Munday: Isn't it amazing how much you can learn off of the internet?”
Lucy Liu - Alex Munday
Matt LeBlanc - Jason Gibbons

“- Dominic Manetta: Times are changing. You've got to change with the times.
- Paul Vitti: What, am I supposed to get a fuckin' website?”
Joseph Rigano - Dominic Manetta
Robert De Niro - Paul Vitti

“Just be careful out there in cyberspace. Don't tell them anything.”

Sinbad - Sam Simms