Law enforcement quotes

“- Doug Madsen: You're the sheriff, aren't you going out there?
- Charley: Hey, I took my law enforcement course on the internet! For arms training they just told us to play Doom!”
Tim Allen - Doug Madsen
Stephen Tobolowsky - Charley

“If you're staring at me, it better be because I'm the suspect. If not, get back to work or I swear you're all demoted to something that involves touching shit with your hands!”

Billy Bob Thornton - Agent Thomas Morgan

I remember a senator once asked me. When we talk about "CIA" why we never use the word "the" in front of it. And I asked him, do you put the word "the" in front of "God"?
Lee Pace - Richard Hayes

“Mr. Clements, your men respect you and I don't want to do anything to take away from that. I'm sure you've earned it. So you and your boys are welcome in Dodge City, so long as you obey the law. But if you don't want to cooperate, I'm gonna open you up right now with this shotgun so wide, your whole crew is gonna see what you had for breakfast....” (continue)(continue reading)
Kevin Costner - Wyatt Earp

“- Bookstore owner: You're the D&A !
- Nick Styles: Wrong! They fired me. As a private citizen I can kick anybody's ass I want to.”
Denzel Washington - Nick Styles

- Walter Crow Horse: License and registration?
- Ray Levoi: Kiss my ass.
- Walter Crow Horse: Hey, this is my jurisdiction now. And you were going 59 in a 55 zone.
- Ray Levoi: Let me see the radar.
- Walter Crow Horse: I don't need no radar, I can tell! I just listen to the wind; it said, "fifty-nine, nail him!".
Graham Greene - Walter Crow Horse
Val Kilmer - Ray Levoi

“- Kumar Patel: Excuse me officer. Let me take a couple of guesses. You were probably the big asshole in your high school, right?
- Officer Martone: Absolutely right.
- Kumar Patel: Used to pick on guys like us every day, right?
- Officer Martone: With pleasure.
- Kumar Patel: Then graduation day came, and we went to college, and you went nowhere...” (continue)(continue reading)
Brad Borbridge - Officer Martone

“I dont want that NARC messin' up my business.”
James Franco - Morgan 'Gator' Bodine

“Intelligence officer. Stupidity officer is more like it. Pentagon wants to open a Stupidity Division, they know who they can get to lead it.”
Frank Sinatra - Major Bennett Marco

“- Prof. William Kilbane: You come pounding on this door again and I'll have the law on you.
- Inspector Lestrade: I am the law.
- Prof. William Kilbane: Then stop barging in and out of my room like a chambermaid.”
Frederick Worlock - Prof. William Kilbane
Dennis Hoey - Inspector Lestrade

“- Lady Margaret Carstairs: I shall report you both to Scotland Yard.
- Inspector Lestrade: ...But I am Scotland Yard.”
Mary Forbes - Lady Margaret Carstairs
Dennis Hoey - Inspector Lestrade

“- Captain Donnelly: 13,453 dollars and 63 cents. That's how much an unmarked squad car costs this department. That's the third goddamned car you trashed this month.
- Harry Callahan: Lou Janero.
- Captain Donnelly: What?
- Harry Callahan: It's his men who shot up the car, why don't you send him the bill?”
Michael Currie - Captain Donnelly
Clint Eastwood - Harry Callahan

“- Cross-examining Lawyer: Mister Cogburn, in your four years as US Marshal, how many men have you shot?
- Rooster Cogburn: Shot? Or killed?
- Cross-examining Lawyer: Let us restrict it to killed so we may have a manageable figure!”
Joe Stevens - Cross-examining Lawyer
Jeff Bridges - Rooster Cogburn

“- Lookout: What's up man, you po-po nigga, what's up.
- Jeff Cole: I'm no fucking po-po.”

K.C. Collins - Lookout
Omar Epps - Jeff Cole

“It just didn't sink into his head what the Black Book is and what it meant, being banned from every casino is just one thing but being in this book gets you into the brains of every cop and FBI agent in the state, I mean you're listed in there with Al Capone, but Nicky didn't care.”
Robert De Niro - Sam "Ace" Rothstein

“- Capt. Thomas Fuller: We have got two S.W.A.T. trained guys leading this attack. How do we know the rest of the team isn't in on it?
- Lt. Greg Velasquez: Because I can vouch for Hondo.
- Capt. Thomas Fuller: You wanna bet 100 million dollars on that?”
Larry Poindexter - Capt. Thomas Fuller
Reg E. Cathey - Lt. Greg Velasquez

“- Kemper: We gotta call the cops.
- Morgan: Police officers, please, as you inspect a crime scene, which is now our van, please, ignore the colorful pinata, filled with marijuana, in case you happen to come across it, because it played no part, you know, whatsoever in the demise of this unfortunate, young woman.”

Eric Balfour - Kemper
Jonathan Tucker - Morgan

“- Jack Ryan: I'm in the CIA.
- Cathy Muller: Thank God. I thought you were having an affair.”
Chris Pine - Jack Ryan
Keira Knightley - Kathy Muller

“I was off-duty one day in this bar in Washington Heights where cops didn't have to pay for their drinks. And a couple of guys came in to rob the place. I chased them into the street, shot two dead, got a third one in the leg. He'll never walk right again. Yeah. I quit drinking that day. It just wasn't as much fun after that.”

Liam Neeson - Matt Scudder

“- Inspector Lau Kin Ming: I had no choice before, but now I want to turn over a new page.
-.Chen Wing Yan: Good. Try telling that to the judge; see what he has to say.
- Inspector Lau Kin Ming: You want me dead?
- Chen Wing Yan: Sorry, I'm a cop.
- Inspector Lau Kin Ming: Who knows that?”
Andy Lau - Inspector Lau Kin Ming
Tony Leung Chiu-Wai - Chen Wing Yan

“You don't become a cop because you want to serve and protect. You join the force because they let you carry a gun and a badge. You do it because you get respect.”
Robert De Niro - Turk

“Just remember this. All agents defect, and all resisters sell out. That's the sad truth, Bill. And a writer? A writer lives the sad truth like anyone else. The only difference is, he files a report on it.”
Peter Boretski - Exterminator #2

“The only time the Border Patrol wins hot pursuit is when they get laid.”
Rip Torn - Sheriff Hank Pearson

“- Chuck Clarke: What do you do?
- Jim Harrison: I'm with the CIA.
- Chuck Clarke: Interesting work?”
Dustin Hoffman - Chuck Clarke
Charles Grodin - Jim Harrison

“Three cops for a councilman's son, but no one for this dead girl.”
Barbara Gehring - Lt. 'Hawk' Hawkins