News quotes

“Corporations and broadcasters make you dead meat / You been taught in this country there's speech that is free / But free don't get you no spots on TV / If you want to have senators not on the take / Then give them free air time / They won't have to fake / Telecommunications is the name of the beast / that, that, that, that, that's eating up the...” (continue)(continue reading)

Warren Beatty - Jay Bulworth

“- Lieutenant William Bligh: What demands my immediate attention?
- Fletcher Christian Master's Mate: Well it could wait until tomorrow, sir.
- Lieutenant William Bligh: What is it, damn you?
- Fletcher Christian Master's Mate: The ship is sinking, sir.
- Lieutenant William Bligh: Good.”
Philip Anthony Hopkins - Lieutenant William Bligh
Mel Gibson - Fletcher Christian Master's Mate

“- Fu Manchu: Nayland Smith again. That is very good news...
- Fu Manchu's Servant: Why is it good news, master?
- Fu Manchu: Because I'm in no condition to receive bad news.”
Peter Sellers - Fu Manchu
Burt Kwouk - Fu Manchu's Servant

“- Florence: Can I handle this my way?
- Jim: You cannot, I'm still editor of this newspaper.
- Florence: Fine, you said I was fired... well, I quit, you give the assignment to somebody else.
- Jim: Wait a minute, come here.
- Florence: No, I'm through.
- Jim: Come here, sob sister, all right, go ahead, do it your own way.”

Glenda Farrell - Florence
Frank McHugh - Jim

“- Sonny Koufax: I got some interesting news.
- Lenny Koufax: Oh yeah, what?
- Sonny Koufax: I kind of adopted a kid.
- Lenny Koufax: What the hell are you talking about?
- Sonny Koufax: I'm talking about you being a grandfather! Congratulations!”
Adam Sandler - Sonny Koufax
Joseph Bologna - Lenny Koufax

“- Henry Hackett: What if these aren't the guys? What if they're innocent?
- Alicia Clark: Taint them today, we make them look good on Saturday. Everybody's happy.
- Henry Hackett: Wait. This is a story that could permanently alter the public's perception of two teenagers who might be innocent and as a weekend bonus, ignite another race war. How...” (continue)(continue reading)
Michael Keaton - Henry Hackett
Glenn Close - Alicia Clark

“- Alicia Clark: We're not exactly the Washington Post, okay?
- Michael McDougal: No, we're not. We run stupid headlines because we think they're funny. We run maimings on the front page because we got good art. And I spend three weeks bitching about my car because it sells papers. But at least it's the truth. As far as I can remeber we never...” (continue)(continue reading)
Glenn Close - Alicia Clark
Randy Quaid - Michael McDougal

“Hunter wouldn't leave his camera if his grandmother was on fire.”
Walter Connolly - Gabby' MacArthur

“- Guy on the Street: Hey big guy, you hear the news, my son Billy got the lead in his school musical.
- Hank: Well I guess he likes the cock after all.”
Googy Gress - Guy on the Street
Jim Carrey - Hank

“It's finding the center of your story, the beating heart of it, that's what makes a reporter. You have to start by making up some headlines. You know: short, punchy, dramatic headlines.”
Gordon Pinsent - Billy Pretty

“- Taylor: You climatizing, Harold?
- Harold: Good news or bad news when you bleed from your ears?
- Taylor: Good news.”
Michael Biehn - Taylor
Matt Craven - Harold

“- Bernie White: What about something fun? Don't we have anything fun today?
- Henry Hackett: Nazis marching in New Jersey.
- Lou: There you go.
- Bernie White: Nazis are a barrel of laughs.”
Robert Duvall - Bernie White
Michael Keaton - Henry Hackett
Geoffrey Owens - Lou

“The good news is the tickets are selling like hotcakes. The bad news is the kids sound like shit.”

Meryl Streep - Roberta Guaspari

“Maybe a real hero is the last one to hear about it.”
James Stewart - Wylie Burp

“- North: Winchell, you put out a three-page leaflet with a circulation of 90.
- Winchell: Might even land me a Pulitzer.”
Elijah Wood - North
Matthew McCurley - Winchell

Issues are shit we use as an excuse to run good stories. "Judge Grabs Female Attorney's Tits". The sex discrimination "issue". "Nine-year-old Shoots Brother With Uzi". The child violence "issue". People want to read about sex organs and blood.
James Woods - Alan Mann

“There's still so many things I don't know. If a piece of knotted string can unleash the wind, and if a drowned man can awaken, then I believe a broken man can heal. Headline: Deadly storm takes house, leaves excellent view.”
Kevin Spacey - Quoyle

“No wonder you're having nightmares. You're always watching the news.”
Sharon Stone - Lori

“I'm sure no one who matters watches the five o'clock news.”
Annie McEnroe - Doreen

“- Miss Piggy: I've got great news! Gonzo has been kidnapped by the government and it could be a life-threatening situation!
- Kermit the Frog: How can that be great news?
- Miss Piggy: Because, I've got a story, I've got a story! Oh! I need to change! Something that says journalistic integrity.”
Frank Oz - Miss Piggy
Steve Whitmire - Kermit the Frog

“- Snickers: Guys, we got some good news and some bad news.
- Almond Joy: The good news is, you'll be completely un-paralyzed in about two minutes.
- Snickers: The bad news is, that only leaves you five seconds to defuse the bombs.”
Don Harvey - Snickers
Lorraine Toussaint - Almond Joy

“- McCoskey: I've got bad news and bad news.
- Bessalo: Give me the bad news first.”
Clarence Felder - McCaskey
Joe Santos - Bessalo

“- Detective Cameron: I got good news and bad news, girls. The good news is your dates are here.
- Sorority Sister: What's the bad news?
- Detective Cameron: They're dead.”
Tom Atkins - Ray Cameron

“- Melanie Mitchel: Mr. President, the Russian news crew is with us. I told them you'd give them a sound bite about life in the White House.
- President James Marshall: There is no life in the White House!”
Donna Bullock - Press Secretary Melanie Mitchell
Harrison Ford - President James Marshall

“There's no news, like bad news.”

Jonathan Pryce - Elliot Carver