Performance quotes

“Nowadays people want glamor and tears, the grand performance. I've never been good at that.”
Helen Mirren - The Queen

“There comes a moment in every performer’s life that defines him or her, sometimes for the rest of their career.”
Matthew Morrison - Will Schuester

“You know, I always do my best, no matter the quality of the film.”
Herbert Lom

“Aboard my ship, excellent performance is standard, standard performance is sub-standard, and sub-standard performance is not permitted to exist - that, I warn you.”
Humphrey Bogart - Lt. Cmdr. Philip Francis Queeg

“I'll tell you this: the only performance that makes it, that really makes it, that makes it all the way, is the one that achieves madness. Right? Am I right? You with me?”
Mick Jagger - Turner

“- Theater Director: We gotta see the love, but we've also gotta see the agony. You have been in love before, haven't you?
- Alex: Yes. Sure.
- Theater Director: Oh, good. Share us a little something.”

Marcel Jeannin - Theater Director
Rose Byrne - Alex

“Your performances were, on the whole, promising, which is more than can be said, alas, for that of the sliding doors. One of which might have thought it was in Japan, but the other was apparently stubbornly laboring under the misapprehension that it was on holiday in Yorkshire.”

Jim Broadbent - William Schwenck Gilbert

“- Dr. Caligari: I want to apply for a permit to show my exhibit at the fair.
- Town Clerk: What sort of an exhibit is it?
- Dr. Caligari: A somnambulist.”
Werner Krauss - Dr. Caligari

- Carla Jean Moss: You don't have to do this.
- Anton Chigurh: People always say the same thing.
- Carla Jean Moss: What do they say?
- Anton Chigurh: They say, "You don't have to do this".
- Carla Jean Moss: You don't.
Kelly Macdonald - Carla Jean Moss
Javier Bardem - Anton Chigurh

“- Trixie Lorraine: Isn't there going to be any comedy in the show?
- Barney Hopkins: Oh, plenty! The gay side, the hard-boiled side, the cynical and funny side of the Depression!”
Aline MacMahon - Trixie Lorraine
Ned Sparks - Barney Hopkins

“- Judge: Miss LaRue, just what constitutes a striptease?
- Rosette LaRue: A good constitution and a couple of zippers.”
Ferdinand Gottschalk - Judge
Winnie Lightner - Rosette LaRue

“I'll make them laugh at you starving to death, honey. It'll be the funniest thing you ever did.”

Ned Sparks - Barney Hopkins

“Did I ever tell you about the time I performed two operations at once?... They both died.”
Robert Benfer - Dr. Bob

“You didn't land it.”

Ryan Dunn - himself

“- Rudy Zolteck: How'd I do, coach?
- Kevin O'Shea: I don't know son. I don't have a sundial.”

Michael Zwiener - Rudy Zolteck
Ed O'Neill - Kevin O'Shea

“- Trixie Lorraine: What's the show about?
- Barney Hopkins: It's all about the Depression.
- Carol King: We won't have to rehearse that.”
Aline MacMahon - Trixie Lorraine
Ned Sparks - Barney Hopkins
Joan Blondell - Carol King

“- Penny Pingleton: I'm just a little nervous.
- Tammy: This is show business young lady. If you're nervous now. Hah. Wait 'til you're on the air.”
Leslie Ann Powers - Penny Pingleton
Mink Stole - Tammy

“- Joey Gazelle: I'll be quick and real quiet. Come on.
- Teresa Gazelle: Quiet? I don't think so. Quick? I can believe.”

Paul William Walker IV - Joey Gazelle
Vera Farmiga - Teresa Gazelle

“Now on with the opera. Let joy be unconfined. Let there be dancing in the streets, drinking in the saloons and necking in the parlor.”

Groucho Marx - Otis B. Driftwood

“- Danny Madigan: No. It's not possible!
- Jack Slater: What's not possible? The man is an artist. It's his best performance ever!
- Danny Madigan: But... that was you! You were in that movie!”

Austin O'Brien - Danny Madigan
Arnold Schwarzenegger - Jack Slater

- Miss Luther: I can't tell you how interested I was in your discussion of "Twelfth Night". It was so intelligent.
- Terry Randall: Oh, thank you very much. I'm afraid that the rest of the inmates didn't share your enthusiasm.
Constance Collier - Miss Luther
Katharine Hepburn - Terry Randall

“- Samuel Pepys: Your performance of the man stuff seemed so right, so true. I suppose I felt it was the most real in the play.
- Ned Kynaston: You know why the man stuff seemed so real? Because I'm pretending. You see a man through the mirror of a woman through the mirror of a man. You take one of those reflecting glasses away it doesn't work.”
Hugh Bonneville - Samuel Pepys
Billy Crudup - Ned Kynaston

“I must congratulate you on your virtuoso performance, my boy. Centauri is impressed. I've seen them come, and I've seen them go, but you're the best, my boy. Dazzling! Light years ahead of the competition! Centauri's got a little proposition for you. Are ya interested?”

Robert Preston - Centauri

“- Florenz Ziegfeld Jr.: I've been wrong. I've got nothing. Nothing to leave anyone.
- Sidney: Nothing, sir? You leave them the memories of the finest things ever done on the stage, sir.”
William Powell - Florenz Ziegfeld Jr.
Ernest Cossart - Sidney

“Bam just took a golden dildo up his ass at high speeds. That's what happened.”
Manny Puig - himself