Prison quotes

“Prison isn't so bad. We do get salisbury steak on Wednesdays.”
French Stewart - Marv Merchants

“- Tommy Lucero: I'll be out of any jail you put me in by 3 o'clock Friday.
- Inspector Laborde: And why is that?
- Tommy Lucero: Oh, because I have to see someone at 4 o'clock on Friday.”
Antonio Banderas - Tommy Lucero
Marco St. John - Inspector Laborde

“- Leo Davis: You've been in jail?
- Harry Binelli: Sure, it's'a not so bad. You behave and they make you a trustee.”
Frank Albertson - Leo Davis
Chico Marx - Harry Binelli

“- Lucien Cordier: You know I never arrest anyone unless I have to. I have enough troubles of my own.
- Leonelli: What good is an empty prison?”
Philippe Noiret - Lucien Cordier
Gérard Hernandez - Leonelli

“Blackmail isn't so pure nor so simple, and it brings a great deal of trouble to a great many people before it's through, and we know how to deal with it in our part of the world. And, sometimes, the blackmailer finds himself in jail at the end of it!”

C. Aubrey Smith - Colonel Julyan

“- Girl In Cabin: I took this cruise to get myself out of the country.
- Steve: Why?
- Girl In Cabin: There's a stupid little murder warrant out for my arrest.”
Mary Miller - Girl In Cabin
Garry McClintic - Steve

“The only thing I ever learned in jail was that it was a terrific place to stay out of.”
Jason Robards - Max Dugan

“- Asneeze: I've been in here for a while. Perhaps I could be of service. Do you have any questions?
- Robin Hood: What are you in for?
- Asneeze: Jaywalking.”

Isaac Hayes - Asneeze
Cary Elwes - Robin Hood

“- Mike Conlon: They should have locked you up a long time ago. Made you pay for the things you did.
- Jimmy Conlon: Just because I'm not behind bars doesn't mean I'm not paying for what I did, Michael.”
Joel Kinnaman - Mike Conlon
Liam Neeson - Jimmy Conlon

“- Huey Walker: You know, Buckner, if it hadn't've been for you, I'd be in a warm cell right now.
- John Buckner: Yeah, being beaten by a nice, warm, rubber hose.”
Dennis Hopper - Huey Walker
Kiefer Sutherland - John Buckner

“- Set: Did you miss me?
- Hathor: I have to miss you, I'm your prisoner.”
Gerard Butler - Set
Elodie Yung - Hathor

“- Big Mean: What's the charge?
- Harry Monroe: Innocent.
- Big Mean: Ain't we all?”
Cedrick Hardman - Big Mean
Richard Pryor - Harry Monroe

“I ask you what is it worth when we have undeniable truth...yes! Incontrovertible evidence that Hell exists! I know! I know my friends! I have been informed in visions that there is a place darker than any prison, hotter than any flame of human fire, where souls of unrepentant criminal sinners like yourselves!”
Michael Gover - Prison Chaplain

“Do you know what it's like to be the only kid in the first grade who got to talk about visiting day?”
Laura Linney - Kate Whitney

“- Kara Milovy: You were fantastic. We're free.
- James Bond: Kara, we're inside a Russian airbase in the middle of Afghanistan.”

Maryam d'Abo - Kara Milovy
Timothy Dalton - James Bond

“There better not be a black person in here that says they don't know nobody in jail... cuz that's bullshit. RayRay, Earl, Craig, Shorty Tim, Lil' Reg, all them motherfuckers in jail... Shonda's little brother... all of 'em, in jail... chillin'.”
Martin Lawrence - Martin Lawrence

- Flanagan: What the hell are you doing? Leave him alone!
- Cpl. Joseph L. DiNardo: Look lady, this is called "extracting infromation". Do you understand that?
- Flanagan: So we torture prisoners now, do we?
- Cpl. Joseph L. DiNardo: You're goddamn right! This ain't Nebraska, lady.

Margaret Gerard - Flanagan
Wings Hauser - Cpl. Joseph L. DiNardo

“- Cosmo: There I was in prison. And one day I helped a couple of nice older gentlemen make some free telephone calls. They turned out to be, let us say, good family men.
- Bishop: Organized crime?
- Cosmo: Hah. Don't kid yourself. It's not that organized.”
Ben Kingsley - Cosmo
Robert Redford - Bishop

“Santa's in the slammer! We gotta get him out! Is vagrancy a capital crime?”
Jim Varney - Ernest P. Worrell

“- Hugh Lang: My clients don't go to jail, Mr. Carr.
- Avington Carr: Oh, he's going to jail. He belongs in jail. You bet your ass he's going to jail. The only question is, is he going to die in jail?”
Don Cheadle - Hugh Lang
Peter Gerety - Avington Carr

“- Mpudi: They gave him the death sentence.
- Andrew Steyn: For shooting a goat?
- Mpudi: No. Three months in jail. Same thing, he gonna die for sure. He never seen a wall in his life, now he got walls all round him.”

Michael Thys - Mpudi
Marius Weyers - Andrew Steyn

“- Roxie Hart: You're, the Velma Kelly. I was there the night you got arrested.
- Velma Kelly: Yeah? You and half of Chicago.”
Renee Zellweger - Roxie Hart
Catherine Zeta-Jones - Velma Kelly

“Welcome back to the Army, Major. You're under arrest.”

Holt McCallany - Col. Morgan

“- Bob Stein: Where were you?
- Stanley Simon: Oh, at a nice little bed and breakfast known as the county lockup.”
Joshua Malina - Bob Stein
Luke Wilson - Stanley Simon

“- Shifu: Master! I have... it's very bad news!
- Oogway: Ah, Shifu. There is just news. There is no good or bad.
- Shifu: Master, your vision. Your vision was right! Tai-Lung has broken out of prison! He's on his way!
- Oogway: That is bad news.”
Dustin Hoffman - Shifu
Randall Duk Kim - Oogway