Speed quotes

“If you absolutely, positively have to get home by tomorrow morning, you've come to the right truck.”

“- Fowler: Increase velocity!
- Babs: What does that mean?
- Bunty: It means pedal your flippin' giblets out!”
Benjamin Whitrow - Fowler
Jane Horrocks - Babs
Imelda Staunton - Bunty

“- MacMahon: Do you think all those years he's been sitting at home waiting for you?
- Fanny Trellis Skeffington: Well, he's always home when I get there.
- MacMahon: He's just got a faster car than you.”

Robert Shayne - MacMahon
Bette Davis - Fanny Trellis Skeffington

“- Hank Deerfield: I'll call you when I'll arrive tomorrow.
- Joan Deerfield: It's a two-day drive.
- Hank Deerfield: For some people.”
Tommy Lee Jones - Hank Deerfield
Susan Sarandon - Joan Deerfield

“I'm so damned fast I can wake up at the crack of dawn, rob two banks, a train and a stage coach, shoot the tail feathers off a duck's ass at 300 feet, and still be back in bed before you wake up next to me.”
Leonardo DiCaprio - Kid

“I pee really fast. I live with five brothers, three cousins and only one bathroom. Believe me, I can pee faster than anyone in the world.”
Salma Hayek - Isabel Fuentes Whitman

“- Thorny: Do you know how fast you were going back there?
- College Boy 1: Umm... 65?
- Thorny: 63.
- College Boy 1: But... isn't the speed limit 65?
- Thorny: Yes, it is.
- College Boy 3: [stoned] I'm freakin' out, man!”

Jay Chandrasekhar - Thorny
André Vippolis - College Boy 1
Geoffrey Arend - College Boy 3

“Look at you all grown up. Got your little speed bumps and everything.”
Kym Whitley - Dolores

“- Texas Man: Am I going too fast for ya?
- Pistachio Disguisey: Am I going to fast for ya?
- Texas Wife: Are you mocking my husband?
- Pistachio Disguisey: Are you mocking my husband?
- Texas Wife: ‘Cuz you better not be.
- Pistachio Disguisey: ‘Cuz you better not be.”
Robert Machray - Texas Man
Dana Carvey - Pistachio Disguisey
Rachel Lederman - Texas Wife

“- Motorcycle Cop: Where's the fire?
- Dallas: [lying] This kid fell off his motorcycle, I'm taking him to the hospital.
- Motorcycle Cop: Is he hurt bad?
- Dallas: How should I know? I ain't no doc.
[Motorcycle Cop goes away]”

Ed Jackson - Motorcycle Cop
Matt Dillon - Dallas Winston

“- Niki Lauda: There's no need to drive fast, it just increases the percentage of risk. We're not in a hurry, I'm not being paid. Right now, with zero incentive or reward, why would I drive fast?
- Marlene Lauda: Because I'm asking you to.”
Daniel Brühl - Niki Lauda
Alexandra Maria Lara - Marlene Lauda

“- Aunt Glady: How fast can you go, Tommy?
- Tommy: Like the wind, honey.”
Geraldine Chaplin - Aunt Glady
Robert Downey Jr. - Tommy

“I will always be puzzled by the human predilection for piloting vehicles at unsafe velocities.”
Brent Spiner - Data

“- Kenneth W. Dantley, Jr.: Excuse me, uh, seventeen miles an hour?
- Tico: Fifteen.
- Kenneth W. Dantley, Jr.: On the interstate. What are you doing, looking for a contact lens?”
Mark Hamill - Kenneth W. Dantley Jr.
Isaac Ruiz - Tico

“The stronger swordsman does not necessarily win. It is speed! Speed of hand, speed of mind.”
Richard Harris - Abbé Faria

“I want this mission high and tight. I wanna be home for dinner.”
Stephen Lang - Col. Quaritch

“Fear lent him wings, as the saying goes.”
Clint Eastwood - Schaffer

“- Edgar Frog: Come on Sam, let's get out of here. Burn rubber!
[the car accelerates, almost driving over a cliff]
- Edgar Frog: Christ!
- Sam Emerson: Burn rubber does not mean warp speed!”
Corey Feldman - Edgar Frog
Corey Haim - Sam

“- Colonel Sandurz: Prepare ship for light speed.
- Dark Helmet: No, no, no, light speed is too slow.
- Colonel Sandurz: Light speed, too slow?
- Dark Helmet: Yes, we're gonna have to go right to ludicrous speed.”
George Wyner - Colonel Sandurz
Rick Moranis - Dark Helmet

“Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.”
Woody Allen

“- Charlie: Is this going to go fast, Grandpa?
- Grandpa Joe: It should, Charlie; it's got more gas in it than a politician.”

Peter Ostrum - Charlie
Jack Albertson - Grandpa Joe

“- Policeman in Car: You've been clockin' 60 to 45. What's the hurry?
- Kyle: I have a date.”
Matt Roe - Policeman in Car
Christine Elise - Kyle

“Prepare ship for ludicrous speed! Fasten all seatbelts, seal all entrances and exits, close all shops in the mall, cancel the three ring circus, secure all animals in the zoo!”
George Wyner - Colonel Sandurz

“- Tommy Nowak: Didn't think anyone could run so fast in heels.
- Lou Ann McGuinn: Tina Turner taught me.”
Clint Eastwood - Tommy Nowak
Bernadette Peters - Lou Ann McGuinn

“There's not one state in the 50 that has the death penalty for speeding... although I'm not so sure about Ohio.”
Brock Yates - Organizer