Chris Rock movie quotes

“- Miss Pearl: They wouldn't do that, would they? When they know we're in here.
- Mays Gilliam: Miss Pearl, I love you. I've known you a long time. You've seen a lot of things in your life. You've seen churches burned to the ground. You've seen dogs sicced on children. You've seen Malcolm X killed. You've seen JFK killed. They shut up Muhammad...” (continue)(continue reading)

Gammy Singer - Miss Pearl
Chris Rock - Mays Gilliam

“- Charlie: Where am I, Purgatory?
- Wesley: Worse, Texas!”
Morgan Freeman - Charlie
Chris Rock - Wesley

“- Leah: Jones, what in the world makes you think I would ever go out with you?
- Osmosis Jones: What you talking about? I'm a legend, girl! The chicks line up to divide with me!
- Leah: Oh really? 'Cause to me you look like the kind of cell who mostly divides with himself.”
Brandy Norwood - Leah
Chris Rock - Osmosis Jones

“- Drix: Where did you study?
- Osmosis Jones: Study? When you grow up on the wrong side of the digestive track, you ain't got no money for no fancy schools.”
David Hyde Pierce - Drix
Chris Rock - Osmosis Jones

“- Roland Yates: Don't worry, son, there'll be extra money for this mission.
- Jake Hayes: Hey, man, first of all, I'm not your son. Second of all, did it ever occur to you that I might want to do something 'cause it's the right thing?”
John Slattery - Roland Yates
Chris Rock - Jake Hayes

“Somebody took my phone number and called Afghanistan. I've never talked to anyone in Afghanistan, I don't know nobody in Afghanistan, and even if did know anyone, I wouldn't talk to that Afghan ass for three hours. I won't talk to my daddy for three hours.”
Chris Rock - Detective Lee Butters

Pootie Tang will draw you a picture of how he gonna kick your ass, then mail it to you ten days in advance. The picture gets there right? You're goin', "What the hell is this?" and then Pootie Tang knocks on your door, promptly kicks your ass and you still won't know what happened to you!
Chris Rock - JB

“- Rodney: I'm getting whisker-whipped up here! Hey, this is cruel to animals!
- Dr. John Dolittle: One more word, and I'm letting you out! I'll leave you in the wild! With the real animals! See how much talk you do when squirrels are kicking your ass in!
- Rodney: Fine, then I'll just sing!”

Chris Rock - Rodney
Eddie Murphy - Dr. John Dolittle

“There's a big rap concert in the Bronx tonight. Somebody's gonna die.”
Chris Rock - Lance Barton

“- Leah: Wow, this is huge.
- Osmosis Jones: Don't be all impressed, 'cause 99% of that is just sugar you know.
- Leah: Yeah, and 99% of you is just stupid.
- Osmosis Jones: Ooh, like I haven't heard that one before.”
Brandy Norwood - Leah
Chris Rock - Osmosis Jones

You know, the first kiss is always in the middle of a sentence. It's always like, "Tomorrow I'm going to the zoo to see the monkeys and...".

Chris Rock - Lance Barton

“- Betty: You sure you don't want a salad?
- Wesley: You sure you want a tip when I'm done?”

Renee Zellweger - Betty Sizemore
Chris Rock - Wesley

“- Rufus: You know what the dead do with most of their time? They watch the living. Especially in the shower.
- Jay: I can't wait to die.”
Chris Rock - Rufus
Jason Mewes - Jay