Diane Keaton movie quotes

“- Daphne Wilder: Milly, honey, why are you so quiet?
- Mae: 'Cause she's doing the oompa-loompa with two guys, mom.”
Diane Keaton - Daphne Wilder
Lauren Graham - Maggie

“You can do whatever you put your mind to.”
Diane Keaton - Jenny

“- Kay Adams: How did he do that?
- Michael Corleone: My father made him an offer he couldn't refuse.
- Kay Adams: What was that?
- Michael Corleone: Luca Brasi held a gun to his head, and my father assured him that either his brains or his signature would be on the contract.”
Diane Keaton - Kay Adams
Al Pacino - Michael Corleone

“- Julian Mercer: I knew you'd smell good.
- Erica Barry: It's just... soap.”
Keanu Reeves - Julian Mercer
Diane Keaton - Erica Barry

“- Elizabeth: When you think you are in love your eyes are closed to all logic and reason. It's not the time to make a big decision.
- Carla: No but my eyes are not closed mother...
- Elizabeth: Shh dear Carla we can have this discussion without you getting upset in front of everybody, Carla...
- Carla: [shouting] My eyes are not closed mother!”
Diane Keaton - Elizabeth
Juliette Lewis - Carla

“- Carol Lipton: Larry, I think it's time we reevaluated our lives.
- Larry Lipton: I've reevaluated our lives; I got a 10, you got a 6.”
Diane Keaton - Carol Lipton
Woody Allen - Larry Lipton

“- Isaac: I got a kid, he's being raised by two women at the moment.
- Mary: I mean I think that works. They made some studies, I read in one of the psychoanalytic quarterlies. You don't need a male, I mean. Two mothers are absolutely fine.
- Isaac: Really? Because I always feel very few people survive one mother.”
Woody Allen - Isaac
Diane Keaton - Mary

“- Delivery Boy: One cold mist humidifier, one electric steam vaporizer, one baby thermometer, one baby Tylenol, baby nose drops, baby cough medicine and... bottle of Valium?
- J.C. Wiatt: Oh, yeah, uh... that's for me.”

Nicholas Cascone - Delivery Boy
Diane Keaton - J.C. Wiatt

“- Daphne Wilder: Cooper is in heat.
- Maggie: Mom, Cooper is a boy.”
Diane Keaton - Daphne Wilder
Lauren Graham - Maggie

“It's like riding a bicycle... upside down.”

Diane Keaton - Bridget Cardigan

“- Beth: I'm not talking about doctors, I'm talking about you.
- Joseph: Have I ever put my work before you or the girls? Ok, sometimes. When I'm doing surgery on someone's spine to relieve them of a life of pain, I have put my work first! The girls always understood and they never complained.
- Beth: Were we living in the same house?”
Diane Keaton - Beth
Kevin Kline - Joseph

“You know more about your patients than you do about your own family.”
Diane Keaton - Beth

“- J.C. Wiatt: I need your sister's name in Wiesbaden - in case of an emergency - and her prison record, if any.
- Helga Von Haupt: Excuse me??
- J.C. Wiatt: Uh, oh, silly! I mean her address, if you have it.”
Diane Keaton - J.C. Wiatt
Carol Gillies - Helga Von Haupt

“- Joseph: We haven't lost a person. We lost a dog.
- Beth: Love is love. It doesn't matter if it's a dog.”
Kevin Kline - Joseph
Diane Keaton - Beth

“There is nothing in the world to get uptight about. We are two summa cum laudes. We can handle one little baby for eight hours.”
Diane Keaton - J.C. Wiatt

“God couldn't be everywhere so that is why he invented mothers.”
Diane Keaton - Daphne Wilder

“- Counselor: People your age in the work force are usually considered real pains in the ass.
- Bridget Cardigan: Are you aware that statement is discriminatory and illegal?
- Counselor: See! And you don't even work for me.”
Denise Lee - Counselor
Diane Keaton - Bridget Cardigan

“I hate to see you miss out on something... because you have this picture in your mind or you thought you can change something you can't. I'd hate to see you not find what you really want.”
Diane Keaton - Sybil Stone

“- Nina Brewster: I don't want things I can't have.
- Bridget Cardigan: Do you live in America?”
Queen Latifah - Nina Brewster
Diane Keaton - Bridget Cardigan

“- Louise Bryant: Would you rather I not smoke during rehearsal?
- Eugene O'Neill: I'd rather you went up in flames than crush out your cigarette during a monologue about birth.”
Diane Keaton - Louise Bryant
Jack Nicholson - Eugene O'Neill

“- Hank: There's this one dude on my floor, held a razor blade under his tongue for like 5 hours. He talked to the orderlies, he ate, everything.
- Bessie: Well, why on earth did he do that?
- Hank: He was trying to break my record.”
Leonardo DiCaprio - Hank
Diane Keaton - Bessie

“- Harry Sanborn: I don't like thinking about you all the time and worrying about how you are. Sometimes worrying about you feels like a full-time job.
- Erica Barry: Well I'm doing just fine, so you don't have to work that shift anymore!”
Jack Nicholson - Harry Sanborn
Diane Keaton - Erica Barry

“- Mary: Isn't it beautiful out?
- Isaac: Yeah, it's really so pretty when the light starts to come up.
- Mary: Yeah, I know. I love it.
- Isaac: Boy, this is really a great city, I don't care what anybody s-s - it's really a knock-out, you know?”

Diane Keaton - Mary
Woody Allen - Isaac

“- Molly: That could be your savings account!
- Bridget Cardigan: I don't think so, it has money in it.”
Morgana Shaw - Molly
Diane Keaton - Bridget Cardigan

“- Harry Sanborn: Soft lips.
- Erica Barry: I'm so glad they still work. I haven't used them for kissing in such a long time, more like for wearing lipstick... and whistling.”

Jack Nicholson - Harry Sanborn
Diane Keaton - Erica Barry