Diane Keaton movie quotes

“- Ben Stone: So, uh, where's dad?
- Sybil Stone: He ran away. Joined the circus.
- Everett Stone: Better circus.
- Patrick Thomas: Yeah. Less clowns.”
Luke Wilson - Ben Stone
Diane Keaton - Sybil Stone
Dermot Mulroney - Everett Stone
Brian White - Patrick Thomas

- Daphne: What's your name?
- Rocks: They call me "No".
- Daphne: Silly, that's not your name. That's what they say when you're bad.
Diane Keaton - Daphne
Danny DeVito - Rocks

“- Nina Brewster: You spent the money!
- Bridget Cardigan: What're you talking about?
- Nina Brewster: [pulls off Bridget's glove revealing a $62,000 ring] This.
- Bridget Cardigan: It's nothing, it's costume jewelry, it's not even real.
- Nina Brewster: Really?
- Bridget Cardigan: Yes.
- Nina Brewster: Good! [flushes it down the toilet]”
Queen Latifah - Nina Brewster
Diane Keaton - Bridget Cardigan

“- Frederick: I'll just have a drink.
- Renata: Right! Drink yourself unconcious. That's the sort of writer's cliche you've never had trouble adjusting to.”
Richard Jordan - Frederick
Diane Keaton - Renata

“You know, Michael, now that you're so respectable I think you're more dangerous than you ever were. In fact, I preferred you when you were just a common Mafia hood.”
Diane Keaton - Kay Adams Michelson

Christmas is not "clothing optional" this year, we have a guest.

Diane Keaton - Sybil Stone

“- Daphne Wilder: Well, who would you choose for my daughter?
- Johnny: Me.
- Daphne Wilder: What? No way! Oh, please. I am not setting my daughter up with an attractive, charming musician who will just break her heart.
- Johnny: Wow. I love being reduced to a cultural cliche.”
Diane Keaton - Daphne Wilder
Gabriel Macht - Johnny

“Where would you have us go Charlie? Maybe you would prefer us to take a piece of Central Africa or Uruguay? Not Egypt, thank you, we tried that once and it was not a success. Or back to the ghettos?”
Diane Keaton - Martin Kurtz

“- Harry Sanborn: I don't think I've ever had this effect on a woman before.
- Erica Barry: What effect do you think you're having on me?
- Harry Sanborn: I don't quite recognize it. That's how I know I never had it before.”
Jack Nicholson - Harry Sanborn
Diane Keaton - Erica Barry

“I appreciate you taking time to chat, but I'm not in the mood for idle conversation. So if it should happen again, I think we should both try to ignore each other, 'cos I'm not one of your students who's gonna faint every time you say hello. I am a tough, cold career woman who has absolutely nothing in common with a veterinarian from...” (continue)(continue reading)

Diane Keaton - J.C. Wiatt

“Don't psychoanalyze me. I pay a doctor for that.”

Diane Keaton - Mary

- Carla Tate: [quoting one of her teachers] Yeah, and she also told me that people like us, they - boys can try to take advantage and that they'll try to coitus us. So if that should ever happen, to say, "No!"
- Elizabeth: Oh. Okay.
- Carla Tate: "Stop right there!"
- Elizabeth: Good. That's excellent advice. What else did she say to you?
-... (continue)(continue reading)
Juliette Lewis - Carla
Diane Keaton - Elizabeth

“- Julie Ubriacco: Look, they like each other.
- Daphne: Mongrel.
- Rocks: Bitch.”

Tabitha Lupien - Julie Ubriacco
Diane Keaton - Daphne
Danny DeVito - Rocks

“God damn it, I believe in things. I believe in helping end the suffering.”
Diane Keaton - Charlie

“I'm very sorry I ever met you. And I'm sorry that I allowed myself to love you for all those years. I'm sorry that I did nothing but be there for you every minute of every hour and support you in your every move. I'm sorry!”

Diane Keaton - Annie MacDuggan Paradis

“- Bessie: I wish we could get along.
- Lee: We do get along.
- Bessie: No I know, but I mean really get along and be polite with one another.
- Lee: We're sisters.”
Diane Keaton - Bessie
Meryl Streep - Lee

“- Meredith Morton: What's so great about you guys?
- Sybil Stone: Oh, nothing! It's just that we're all that we've got.”
Sarah Jessica Parker - Meredith Morton
Diane Keaton - Sybil Stone

“- Isaac: It's an interesting group of people, your friends are.
- Mary: I know.
- Isaac: Like the cast of a Fellini movie.”
Woody Allen - Isaac
Diane Keaton - Mary

“- Doctor Jeff Cooper: You kind of remind me of a bull terrier of some kind.
- J.C. Wiatt: Yeah, I bet you say that to all the girls.”
Sam Shepard - Dr. Jeff Cooper
Diane Keaton - J.C. Wiatt

“- Mary: I'm honest, whaddya want? I say what's on my mind and, if you can't take it, well then fuck off!
- Isaac: And I like the way you express yourself too, y'know, it's pithy yet degenerate. You get many dates?”
Diane Keaton - Mary
Woody Allen - Isaac

“Why don't you leave the poor Arabs alone? Why don't you give them back the land you stole from them?”

Diane Keaton - Charlie

“- Charlie: I lied, that only makes us even. I don't see what it has to do with my politics.
- Joseph: Possibly they're as much a lie as your past.”
Diane Keaton - Charlie
Yorgo Voyagis - Joseph

“- Martin Kurtz: I trust you will not immediately foam at the mouth if I add that we are also Israeli citizens.
- Charlie: Israelis?
- Martin Kurtz: Unless it's your conviction that Israel should be swept into the sea. Is that your conviction Charlie?
- Charlie: Israelis, huh?
- Martin Kurtz: Do you feel you are among enemies here?
- Charlie: Oh...” (continue)(continue reading)
Klaus Kinski - Martin Kurtz
Diane Keaton - Charlie

“- Lucille Botrelle: The damage to the spinal column's not yet been determined. But his breathing's stabilized and his liver's been saved.
- Lenny Magrath: That's good news.
- Lucille Botrelle: None of this is good news Lennie Magrath! It's all a grueling nightmare and you mark my word those resposible will pay dearly!”

Jean Willard - Lucille Botrelle
Diane Keaton - Lenny Magrath

“- Elizabeth: He won't be able to take care of you! He can barely take care of himself!
- Carla: We can take care of each other!”
Diane Keaton - Elizabeth
Juliette Lewis - Carla