Jack Black quotes
- From the movie: Shallow Hal
“- Jen: In the five years I've known you, every woman, I should say girl, you've gone after has been completely out of your league.
- Hal: What's that supposed to mean?
- Artie: Oh, she doesn't mean anything by it. She's just saying you're not that good looking.
- Hal: Oh! I thought she was implying something really mean.” - From the animation: Kung Fu Panda
- From the movie: Tropic Thunder
“- Kevin Sandusky - Hot LZ: Hey Jeff what are you doin?
- Jeff Portnoy - Hot LZ: Fuckin' nothing, man. I'm eating jelly beans.
- Kevin Sandusky - Hot LZ: Whoa jelly beans can I have...
- Jeff Portnoy - Hot LZ: No you can't have any fuckin' jelly beans! You think you're the only one who gets sick when he doesn't get his jelly beans? Boundaries man...” - From the movie: School of Rock
“- Ned Schneebly: Why don't you sell one of your guitars or something?
- Dewey Finn: What? Would you tell Picasso to sell his guitars?” - From the movie: Saving Silverman
- From the movie: Year One
“- Marlak: Stay away from my woman.
- Zed: Not gonna be possible, Marlak. She's not your woman. You can't own people. Except for the guy who bought all of us. Apparently, he can.” - From the movie: Nacho Libre
“Beneath the clothes, we find a man... and beneath the man we find his... nucleus.”
- From the movie: Envy
“C'est la vie, as the Romans say.”
- From the movie: Nacho Libre
“- Nacho: I'm not listening to you! You only believe in science. That's probably why we never win!
- Esqueleto: We never win because you are fat!” - From the movie: Shallow Hal
“- Hal: Does she take the cake, or what?
- Mauricio: She takes the whole bakery, Hal.” - From the movie: King Kong
- From the movie: Nacho Libre
“Chancho. When you are a man, sometimes you wear stretchy pants in your room. It's for fun.”
- From the movie: Shallow Hal
“- Hal: I'm going for the one in the middle. You can have your pick of the other two.
- Mauricio: So you get the hyena, and I have to choose between the hippo and the giraffe?” - From the movie: Shallow Hal
“- Walt: I just sold my company to Microsoft!
- Hal: Yeah, you cleaned up?
- Walt: Let's just say if I had an ass, I'd wipe it with twenties.” - From the movie: Airborne
- From the movie: School of Rock
- From the movie: Orange County
“- Shaun: Lance, I want you to stay in your room.
- Lance: Why?
- Shaun: Because you're an embarrassment.” - From the movie: School of Rock
“- Billy: You're gonna talk to me about style? You can't even dress yourself... look at that bow tie.
- Dewey Finn: Don't you be talkin' about my bow tie.” - From the movie: Saving Silverman
“- Judith: Have you ever fantasized about having sex with any man, any man at all?
- J.D.: Does that include celebrities?” - From the movie: Saving Silverman
“- Coach: You ate her?
- Wayne: Yeah, we ate her.
- J.D.: Alive.
- Coach: My hat goes off to you. You boys are smart; that's the perfect crime.” - From the movie: School of Rock
- From the movie: Shallow Hal
“- Mauricio: Who's Vicki?
- Hal: Vicki. Vicki, with the short brown hair.
- Mauricio: Vicki? I thought that was a guy! I was calling her Vic!” - From the movie: School of Rock
“- Tomika: Why don't you go on a diet?
- Dewey Finn: Because I like to eat! Is that such a crime?” - From the movie: Shallow Hal
“- Jill: Hal... I'm not attracted to you.
- Hal: So what? What, you think that everyone who goes out are always attracted to each other? Get real!” - From the movie: Shallow Hal
“- Hal: There's Rosemary.
- Mauricio: Where?
- Hal: Right there!
- Mauricio: Is she behind the rhino?”
Highlights