Jack Lemmon movie quotes

“- Herb Sullivan: I'll tell you the truth, Gil, I lost my wife not too long ago...
- Gil Godwyn: Oh, good. Good! Tell it to the ladies. They eat it up.”
Jack Lemmon - Herb Sullivan
Brent Spiner - Gil Godwyn

“- Silvio: Believe us, sir. Your son is not what they told you.
- Ed Horman: How do you know that, Silvio?
- Silvio: He's a nice guy. He's sincere. A hard worker. But he's a political neophyte. He's terrified of violence.”
Alex Camacho - Silvio
Jack Lemmon - Ed Horman

“- Ed Horman: He, he seems so innocent. Almost deliberately naive.
- Beth Horman: Is that so bad?
- Ed Horman: Is that so good?
- Beth Horman: You raised him.”
Jack Lemmon - Ed Horman
Sissy Spacek - Beth Horman

“- President Russell P. Kramer: The people will believe us!
- President Matt Douglas: Why?
- President Russell P. Kramer: Because we're presidents... Okay they won't believe us... what the hell are we supposed to do now?”
Jack Lemmon - President Russell P. Kramer
James Garner - President Matt Douglas

“- Embassy driver: If you don't mind my asking, what's Christian Science about?
- Ed Horman: Faith... It's about faith.
- Embassy driver: Faith in what?
- Ed Horman: Truth.”
Jack Lemmon - Ed Horman

- Morrie Schwartz: Yes, it scares you. All this does. Everything we're talking about... death, dying.
- Mitch Albom: There is a reason why people don't talk about these things.
- Morrie Schwartz: Hmm?
- Mitch Albom: To spare people's feelings.
- Morrie Schwartz: "To spare people's feel..." I never have understood that. How can you spare... (continue)(continue reading)
Jack Lemmon - Morrie Schwartz
Hank Azaria - Mitch Albom

“- President Russell P. Kramer: There was only one assassination attempt on me. You had three.
- President Matt Douglas: Two. The woman in Phoenix doesn't count. She only had a starter pistol.”
Jack Lemmon - President Russell P. Kramer
James Garner - President Matt Douglas

- President Russell P. Kramer: Did you ever have one of her pizzas?
- President Matt Douglas: Oh.
- President Russell P. Kramer: It was like a wet dream with a crust.
- President Matt Douglas: A wet dream?
- President Russell P. Kramer: Huh?
- President Matt Douglas: I don't think I need to hear Russell P. Kramer saying the words "wet dream."... (continue)(continue reading)
Jack Lemmon - President Russell P. Kramer
James Garner - President Matt Douglas

“- Joe: You're not a girl! You're a guy! And why would a guy wanna marry a guy?
- Jerry: For security!”
Tony Curtis - Joe
Jack Lemmon - Jerry

“- Felix Ungar: What do the directions say?
- Oscar Madison: They're gone, I threw them out the window.
- Felix Ungar: Oh, you threw them out the window... you threw them out the window? What the hell made you do a stupid thing like that?
- Oscar Madison: Well, I had them on my lap so I could read them. I lit my cigar, the hot ashes fell on my...” (continue)(continue reading)
Jack Lemmon - Felix Ungar
Walter Matthau - Oscar Madison

“Success is always somebody else's opinion of you; but it doesn't amount to a damn compared to your own opinion of yourself.”
Jack Lemmon

“- Clooney: Are you from L.A.?
- Trabucco: Not necessarily.”
Jack Lemmon - Victor Clooney
Walter Matthau - Trabucco

“- Receptionist: Go sign the duplicate and come back after lunch.
- Clooney: I'm not having lunch.
- Receptionist: Well, I am.”
Joan Shawlee - Receptionist
Jack Lemmon - Victor Clooney

“- Felix Ungar: I hate mess and I hate disorder. I went to a hypnotist to try and cure me.
- Oscar Madison: Didn't work, huh?
- Felix Ungar: Na, he was late. I straightened up his office and left.”
Jack Lemmon - Felix Ungar
Walter Matthau - Oscar Madison

“- Beth Horman: And what are the basics? God, country and Wall Street?
- Ed Horman: You know what I mean.
- Beth Horman: I know, I know. God bless our way of life!
- Ed Horman: A very good way of life it is, young lady, no matter how much people like you and Charles try to tear it down with your sloppy idealism. I can no longer abide the young...” (continue)(continue reading)
Sissy Spacek - Beth Horman
Jack Lemmon - Ed Horman

“- Oscar Madison: There are faster ways of delivery now. FedEx, UPS, fax...
- Felix Ungar: Oh, you're gonna fax me my suitcase?”
Walter Matthau - Oscar Madison
Jack Lemmon - Felix Ungar

“When you're in bed, you're dead.”
Jack Lemmon - Morrie Schwartz

“- John Gustafson: I'm cold.
- Max Goldman: Here's some matches. Set yourself on fire.”
Jack Lemmon - John Gustafson
Walter Matthau - Max Goldman

“- Trabucco: You heard me: fuck off.
- Clooney: Father, you said the F word!”
Walter Matthau - Trabucco
Jack Lemmon - Victor Clooney

“Usually in the morning, you know, before everybody gets up, I get so angry, so bitter. Just, what the hell did I ever do to deserve this? Where's the fairness? I cry and I rage. I mourn. And then I detach. It's over; that's it; all over. No more. I just look back on how I've been feeling and I say, well, that's self-pity and that's enough of...” (continue)(continue reading)
Jack Lemmon - Morrie Schwartz

“- Juror #8: Ever since we've walked into this room, you've acted like a self-appointed public avenger!
- Juror #3: Shut up...
- Juror #8: You want the boy to die for your own personal reasons, not because of the facts!”
Jack Lemmon - Juror #8
George C. Scott - Juror #3

“- Trabucco: When are you leaving?
- Clooney: I can't leave, I'm wanted.
- Trabucco: Not by me.”
Walter Matthau - Trabucco
Jack Lemmon - Victor Clooney

“I want to know one thing: Why, when you get around me, you start to behave like a goddamn, imbecilic, idiotic, totally moronic shithead?”

Jack Lemmon - Felix Ungar

“Sometimes you cannot believe what you see, you have to believe what you feel. And if you are ever going to have other people trust you, you must feel that you can trust them, too - even when you're in the dark. Even when you're falling.”
Jack Lemmon - Morrie Schwartz

“- Consul Phil Putnam: Please try to understand. There are so many cases. They're all so important, and this isn't the only one we're working on.
- Ed Horman: It's the only one I care about.”
David Clennon - Consul Phil Putnam
Jack Lemmon - Ed Horman