John Marwood Cleese movie quotes

- Harvey "Blind" Pew: It sounded as though there was a bit of a squabble.
- Moon: Squabble? They're all dead!
- Harvey "Blind" Pew: Oh! Must have been more of a tiff then.
John Marwood Cleese - Blind Pew
Peter Boyle - Moon

Wanda, do you have any idea what it's like being English? Being so correct all the time, being so stifled by this dread of, of doing the wrong thing, of saying to someone "are you married?" and hearing "my wife left me this morning", or saying, uh, "do you have children?" and being told they all burned to death on Wednesday. You see, Wanda,... (continue)(continue reading)
John Marwood Cleese - Archie Leach

“- Stan aka Loretta: It's every man's right to have babies if he wants them.
- Reg: But you can't have babies.
- Stan aka Loretta: Don't you oppress me.
- Reg: Where's the fetus going to gestate? You going to keep it in a box?”
Eric Idle - Stan aka Loretta
John Marwood Cleese - Reg

“I think the whole Octopus philosophy is poison. The only aim of any and every McCain business is to downsize and halve the quality, to make enough money to acquire another business to downsize and halve the quality, to make enough money to acquire another business to downsize, without ever running a single one of them really well.”
John Marwood Cleese - Rollo Lee

- First Centurion: What you mean "Could be worse"?
- Matthias, Son of Deuteronomy of Gath: You could be stabbed.
- First Centurion: Stabbed? Takes a second. Crucifixion lasts hours. It's a slow, horrible death.
- Matthias, Son of Deuteronomy of Gath: At least it gets you out in the open air.

John Marwood Cleese - First Centurion
John Young - Matthias, Son of Deuteronomy of Gath

“- Maître D': Today we have, for appetizers moules marinières, pâté de foie gras, beluga caviar, eggs Benedictine, tart de poireaux, that's leek tart, frogs' legs amandine, or oeufs de caille Richard Shepherd, c’est à dire, little quails' eggs on a bed of puréed mushroom. It's very delicate, very subtle.
- Mr. Creosote: I'll have the lot.”
John Marwood Cleese - Maître D'
Terry Jones - Mr. Creosote

“- Robin Hood: The poor are going to be absolutely thrilled. Have you met them at all?
- Randall: Who?
- Robin Hood: The poor.
- Randall: The poor?
- Robin Hood: Oh you must meet them. I'm sure you'll like them. Of course they haven't got two pennies to rub together but that's because they're poor.”
John Marwood Cleese - Robin Hood
David Rappaport - Randall

"George's secrets". There's the shortest book ever written.
John Marwood Cleese - An Ape Named "Ape"

“- Harold Grisham: Vicki, you let go of this bag! Or I swear, I swear to God, I'll report you to the escort service!
- Donald P. Sinclair: Mr. Grisham, what's going on?
- Harold Grisham: The hooker! The hooker! The hooker is taking the money!
- Donald P. Sinclair: What hooker?
- Harold Grisham: Vicki! From the hotel!”
Dave Thomas - Harold Grisham
John Marwood Cleese - Donald P. Sinclair

“- Wise Man #1: We were led by a star.
- Mandy Cohen: Led by a bottle, more like.”
John Marwood Cleese - Wise Man #1
Terry Jones - Mandy Cohen

“- Willa Weston: Why do you work for us, Rollo?
- Rollo Lee: Cowardice?”
Jamie Lee Curtis - Willa Weston
John Marwood Cleese - Rollo Lee

“To the casual eye, it's as good as invisible. Plus all the usual refinements: eject seat torpedoes, target seeking shotguns to shoot down mobile objects.”

John Marwood Cleese - Q

“- Von Talon: I'm a vegetarian.
- Mercury: And yet you wear a leather cape.”
Tim Curry - Von Talon
John Marwood Cleese - Mercury

“Mr. Grisham, tragically, was born without a personality.”
John Marwood Cleese - Donald P. Sinclair

“Which would you rather have, the crouton or the entire caesar salad? Of course we're going to eat the mice, but only after we have exploited their labors. See, we are nice to the mice because it is intelligent to be so. If we act sweetly, they will come in droves. If we hiss, they will run and we will have to chase after them, an unnecessary...” (continue)(continue reading)
John Marwood Cleese - Cat R. Waul

“He who laughs most, learns best. ”
John Marwood Cleese

“- Dr. Plumford: You saved my life, Mowgli.
- Mowgli: Yes, Doctor. Now I need you to save the life of another.”
John Marwood Cleese - Dr. Plumford
Jason Scott Lee - Mowgli

“- Henry Clark: You're throwing us out?
- Mr. Mersault: Good heavens, no. Security will do that.”

Steve Martin - Henry Clark
John Marwood Cleese - Mr. Mersault

“- Otto: You know your problem? You don't like winners.
- Archie Leach: Winners?
- Otto: Yeah. Winners.
- Archie Leach: Winners, like North Vietnam?
- Otto: Shut up. We didn't lose Vietnam. It was a tie!”
Kevin Kline - Otto
John Marwood Cleese - Archie Leach

“- Harvey 'Blind' Pew: I may be blind, but I have acute earing.
- Commander Clement: I'm not interested in your jewellery, cloth eyes.”
John Marwood Cleese - Blind Pew
Eric Idle - Commander Clement

“- Reg: All right, but apart from the sanitation, medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, the fresh water system and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?
- Attendee: Brought peace?
- Reg: Peace - shut up!”
John Marwood Cleese - Reg

“I find it rather easy to portray a businessman. Being bland, rather cruel and incompetent comes naturally to me.”
John Marwood Cleese

- Mal: Is there a place in town that takes "my kind"?
- Sheriff Langston: You misunderstand. I want you out of town. In fact, I want you all the way out of my jurisdiction.
- Mal: That ain't right.
- Sheriff Langston: I decide what's right in this jurisdiction. Now, move.

Danny Glover - Mal
John Marwood Cleese - Sheriff Langston

“There is a connection between neurosis and talent but there is also a connection between genius and mental illness.”
John Marwood Cleese

“Thank you very much! Thank you very much. Thank you very very very very much! What awful people.”

John Marwood Cleese - Robin Hood