Leslie William Nielsen movie quotes

“Don't move. I've got a gun. Not here, but I got one.”
Leslie William Nielsen - Ryan Harrison

“When you shot me at point blank range, I knew you loved me.”

Leslie William Nielsen - Ryan Harrison

“- Lt. Frank Drebin: Miss, I'm Lt. Frank Drebin, and this is Captain Ed Hocken, Police Squad.
- Busty Female Shop Assistant: Is this some kind of bust?
- Lt. Frank Drebin: Well... it's very impressive, yes, but we need to ask you a few questions.”
Leslie William Nielsen - Frank Drebin
Gina Mastrogiacomo - Busty Female Shop Assistant

“Oh, and one more thing... I faked every orgasm!”

Leslie William Nielsen - Frank Drebin

I couldn't believe it was her. It was like a dream. But there she was, just as I remembered her. That delicately beautiful face. And a body that could melt a cheese sandwich from across the room. And breasts that seemed to say... "Hey! Look at these!"

Leslie William Nielsen - Frank Drebin

“- Frank Drebin: Hey! The missing evidence in the Kelner case! My God, he really was innocent!
- Ed Hocken: He went to the chair two years ago, Frank.”
Leslie William Nielsen - Frank Drebin
George Kennedy - Ed Hocken

“- Ryan Harrison: Sit down, Pancakes. Of all the women in all the world, you had to walk into mine.
- Cass Lake: I'm sure if we just talk all night, we can work this out.”
Leslie William Nielsen - Ryan Harrison
Melinda McGraw - Cass Lake

“Women and me are like water and fire: wet and flammable.”
Leslie William Nielsen - Ryan Harrison

“Go ahead, threaten me like you have with the American people for so long! You're part of a dying breed, Hapsburg, like people who can name all fifty states! The truth hurts, doesn't it, Hapsburg? Oh sure, maybe not as much as landing on a bicycle with the seat missing, but it hurts!”
Leslie William Nielsen - Frank Drebin

“- Lt. Frank Drebin: She was the kind of woman who made you want to drop to your knees and thank God you were a man! She reminded me of my mother, all right. No doubt about it.
- Ed Hocken: Frank, snap out of it! You're looking at her like she was your mother for Christ's sake!”

Leslie William Nielsen - Frank Drebin
George Kennedy - Ed Hocken

“- Lt. Frank Drebin: Mrs. Dillon, your son is a ruthless, cold-blooded, sadistic animal. You must be proud of him.
- Muriel: I am.”
Leslie William Nielsen - Frank Drebin
Kathleen Freeman - Muriel

“- Dr. Rumack: You'd better tell the Captain we've got to land as soon as we can. This woman has to be gotten to a hospital.
- Elaine Dickinson: A hospital? What is it?
- Dr. Rumack: It's a big building with patients, but that's not important right now.”
Leslie William Nielsen - Dr. Rumack
Julie Hagerty - Elaine Dickinson

“- Jack Potter: Who was it?
- Skinny Woman: We're talking about... Washington.
- Marty Mackenzie: My God, what, the governments involved?
- Skinny Woman: No, George Washintgon. That's right! The kid who couldn't tell a lie. Shocked? So was I. He's livin' right up in that old mine up on the hill. Him and Elvis and M.L. King and JFK and John Lennon...” (continue)(continue reading)

Leslie William Nielsen - Jack Potter
Suzanne Krull - Skinny Woman
Lochlyn Munro - Marty Mackenzie

“- Rocco: Where's your prison number?
- Lt. Frank Drebin: It's unlisted.”
Fred Ward - Rocco
Leslie William Nielsen - Frank Drebin

“- Captain Clarence Oveur: What is it, Doctor? What's going on?
- Dr. Rumack: I'm not sure. I haven't seen anything like this since the Anita Bryant concert.”

Peter Graves - Captain Clarence Oveur
Leslie William Nielsen - Dr. Rumack

“We can go away right now. I pack light. Everything we need is right here in my pants.”
Leslie William Nielsen - Ryan Harrison

“Luke, remember, when you fall on your face you're still moving forward.”
Leslie William Nielsen - Father Jebedaiah Mayii

“- Captain Clarence Oveur: I mean I'm just not sure.
- Dr. Rumack: Well, can't you take a guess?
- Captain Clarence Oveur: Well, not for another two hours.
- Dr. Rumack: You can't take a guess for another two hours?”

Peter Graves - Captain Clarence Oveur
Leslie William Nielsen - Dr. Rumack

“- Mayor William Dudley: Nothing is perfect. Everything's compromised. Now, if you were the mayor of a big city and you have to get things done, you have to learn to give and take.
- Dr. Frank Whitman: Try talking to a surgeon about compromise during an open-heart operation.”
Leslie William Nielsen - Mayor William Dudley
Barry Newman - Dr. Frank Whitman

“- Jack Potter: We're headed out to a town full of devil-worshipers on a tip from a dame who sees two-headed mules.
- Marty Mackenzie: Jack, in the detective business you cannot leave any stone unturned.”
Leslie William Nielsen - Jack Potter
Lochlyn Munro - Marty Mackenzie

“- Ed Hocken: They can't kick you off the force, Frank! It's just not fair!
- Frank Drebin: I know, Ed. Life isn't always fair. Just think. The next time I shoot someone, I could be arrested.”
George Kennedy - Ed Hocken
Leslie William Nielsen - Frank Drebin

“Let me tell you about love, Veronique. Love is a dewdrop on a rose petal. Love is a drop of rain pure and shimmering and trembling. So moist, so wet. And those tiny little drops of love come together, gathering up grown buds, and fallen flowers, and dirt, and dung, and deer droppings, flowing faster and faster, outward to the sea, onward and...” (continue)(continue reading)
Leslie William Nielsen - Dick Steele 'Agent WD-40'

“I want a world where Frank Junior and all the Frank Juniors can sit under a shade tree, breathe the air, swim in the ocean, and go into a 7-Eleven without an interpreter. I want a world where I can eat a sea otter without getting sick! I want a world where the democrats will put somebody up there worth voting for! I may not get there with you,...” (continue)(continue reading)

Leslie William Nielsen - Frank Drebin

“- Kabul: Do you have lighter?
- Dick Steele, Agent WD-40: I only use matches.
- Kabul: Does your mother know you smoke?
- Dick Steele 'Agent WD-40': Yes. But I don't inhale.”
John Ales - Kabul
Leslie William Nielsen - Dick Steele 'Agent WD-40'

“Jane, since I've met you, I've noticed things that I never knew were there before... birds singing, dew glistening on a newly formed leaf, stoplights.”
Leslie William Nielsen - Frank Drebin