Martin Lawrence movie quotes

“Detective Mike Lowrey: Even the Batmobile don’t hold the road like this, bitch.
Detective Marcus Burnett: Tight pants and fast cars don’t make you Batman, Mike.”
Will Smith - Mike
Martin Lawrence - Marcus

“Detective Marcus Burnett: Mike we got more time behind us than in front.
Detective Mike Lowrey: Please. I’m going to be running down criminal till I’m a hundred.”
Martin Lawrence - Marcus
Will Smith - Mike

“Anyone else getting that pre-rape feeling?”

Martin Lawrence - Bobby Davis

“- Miles Logan: All right check this out: This is a Brigga 3300, toughest safe in the world. What's the first thing you do?
- Eddie: Drill the lock.
- Miles Logan: No! You got to check to see if it's open.
- Miles Logan: It's open!
- Eddie: Really?
- Miles Logan: Nah I'm messin' wit- I'm messing with you! They would never do that! Now Eddie, you...” (continue)(continue reading)
Martin Lawrence - Miles Logan
John Hawkes - Eddie

- Davis "Rig" Lanlow: Hey, Kareem, do you know that Charlie and I had originally intended to come up here and cap your punk ass. And your girlfriend, Nick, but shit, you two muffins did such a nice job with this financing, who could think about killing at a time like this?
- Terrance Paul Davidson: Thanks, your approval means a lot!
John C. McGinley - Davis "Rig" Lanlow
Martin Lawrence - Terrance Paul Davidson

“We're not just black, we're cops too! We'll pull ourselves over later!”
Martin Lawrence - Marcus

“- Detective Marcus Burnett: I'mma penetrate this man's soul with my heart.
- Detective Mike Lowrey: What?”
Martin Lawrence - Marcus
Will Smith - Mike

“- Detective Mike Lowrey: I've never trusted anybody but you. I'm asking you, man. Bad Boys, one last time?
- Detective Marcus Burnett: One last time.”
Will Smith - Mike
Martin Lawrence - Marcus

- Detective Mike Lowrey: What happened to "bad boys for life"?
- Detective Marcus Burnett: It's time we be good men.
- Detective Mike Lowrey: Who the fuck wants to sing that song?
Will Smith - Mike
Martin Lawrence - Marcus

“- Miles Logan: Don't you ever get all up on this thing?
- Carlson: I don't think I've ever gotten all up on anything, sir.”
Martin Lawrence - Miles Logan
Luke Wilson - Carlson

“Life lesson. A lot of people think the moment a parent lets go of their child is at the wedding. Not me. Think he's crying because he's giving away his daughter? Uh-uh. It's because she's marrying this guy.”
Martin Lawrence - James

“- Detective Marcus Burnett: Oh, shit. These ain't normal rats.
- Detective Mike Lowrey: What my partner means is that these are a special breed called, uhm.
- Detective Marcus Burnett: Big motherfuckers.”

Martin Lawrence - Detective Marcus Burnett
Will Smith - Detective Mike Lowrey

“Sorry, Woody, about your situation. But you're a lying asshole. That's like an asshole's asshole.”
Martin Lawrence - Bobby Davis

“- Hank Rafferty: Do you know how to hot wire a car?
- Earl Montgomery: What? You think because I’m black I can hot wire a car
- Hank Rafferty: Well, can you?
- Earl Montgomery: Yeah! But not because I'm black!”
Steve Zahn - Hank Rafferty
Martin Lawrence - Earl Montgomery

“- Miles Logan: We can't get out of here. They got cops everywhere.
- Tulley: So? You're one of 'em.
- Miles Logan: No, I'm a drug dealer now!
- Tulley: Man, why you sellin' this shit when you got that big diamond in your hand?”
Martin Lawrence - Miles Logan
Dave Chappelle - Tulley

“- Berger: You ever read the papers?
- Kevin Caffrey: I used to, but the news kept changing.”
John Leguizamo - Berger
Martin Lawrence - Kevin Caffery

“- Sherry Pierce: Oh, it's so good to see you, Big Momma. I thought you may forgotten all about me.
- Malcolm Turner: Shut your mouth, child. Oh, Big Momma could never forget that ass...
- Sherry Pierce: What?
- Malcolm Turner: Asthma. Do you remember you had asthma?”
Nia Long - Sherry Pierce
Martin Lawrence - Malcolm Turner

“- Marcus Burnett: We're your new neighbors.
- Mike Lowrey: Don't be alarmed, we're negros.”
Martin Lawrence - Marcus Burnett
Will Smith - Mike Lowrey

“There better not be a black person in here that says they don't know nobody in jail... cuz that's bullshit. RayRay, Earl, Craig, Shorty Tim, Lil' Reg, all them motherfuckers in jail... Shonda's little brother... all of 'em, in jail... chillin'.”
Martin Lawrence - Martin Lawrence

“- FBI Agent Gray: All right Detective Malone. Now the objective here is to have these individuals look upon you as if you were one of them, a member of the criminal underworld. So it's important that your actions, your speech, and your general mode of behavior is all congruent with their expectation of a fellow criminal.
- Miles Logan: Oh, okay,...” (continue)(continue reading)

Steve Rankin - FBI Agent Gray
Martin Lawrence - Miles Logan

“- Nash: I thought I shot you. You must be one tough monkey.
- Earl Montgomery: You and the monkey jokes, huh? Didn't your momma teach you any manners while you were humpin' her?”
Eric Roberts - Nash
Martin Lawrence - Earl Montgomery

“- Claude Banks: Don't touch this car.
- Rayford Gibson: 'Cause I piss on the motherfucker. I ain't gonna touch it, I piss on it.”
Martin Lawrence - Claude Banks
Eddie Murphy - Rayford Gibson

“- Marcus Burnett: Look man, I ain't getting my sex at home, ok? Don't deny me this.
- Mike Lowrey: What are you talking about, man? You sleep with a beautiful woman everyday.
- Marcus Burnett: I'm married. That's what married means. It means you sleep together, but you can't get none.”
Martin Lawrence - Marcus Burnett
Will Smith - Mike Lowrey

“- Janiece: You told me you were a banker...
- Miles Logan: A bank robber!”
Tamala Jones - Janiece
Martin Lawrence - Miles Logan

“- Detective Marcus Burnett: Mike, have some dignity!
- Detective Mike Lowrey: What? I ain't doin' nothin'.
- Detective Marcus Burnett: Cover the titties.”

Martin Lawrence - Detective Marcus Burnett
Will Smith - Detective Mike Lowrey