Ryan Reynolds movie quotes

“- Deadpool: You know what we need to do? We need to build a fucking team. We need 'em tough, morally flexible, and young enough so they can carry this franchise 10-12 years.
- Dopinder: My body is an instrument of death.
- Deadpool: Not now, Dopinder.”
Ryan Reynolds - Deadpool
Karan Soni - Dopinder

“- Cable: You remind me of my wife.
- Wade Wilson: I'm sorry?
- Cable: I said you remind me...
- Wade Wilson: No, I'm sorry that you said that while making heavy eye contact and applying lip balm.”
Josh Brolin - Cable
Ryan Reynolds - Wade Wilson

“- Cable: Who are you?
- Wade Wilson: I'm Batman.”
Josh Brolin - Cable
Ryan Reynolds - Wade Wilson

“You don't deserve a penis!”

Ryan Reynolds - Chris Brander

“I didn't just get the cure to el cancer, I got the cure to el everything.”
Ryan Reynolds - Deadpool

“Whatever they did to me made me totally indestructible... and completely unfuckable.”
Ryan Reynolds - Deadpool

“Movies are just a comforting fairy-tale compared to the real deal. Bram Stoker, he wrote a good yarn. But the events that he described back in 1897, God, that was just a tiny piece of the mosaic.”
Ryan Reynolds - Hannibal King

“I'm a bad guy who is paid to fuck up worse guys.”
Ryan Reynolds - Deadpool

“She broke the cardinal rule. Don't fuck with people that handle your food.”
Ryan Reynolds - Monty

“Curtis: Woodford!
Gerry: Woodford!”

Ryan Reynolds - Curtis
Ben Mendelsohn - Gerry

“You don't need to be a superhero to get the girl. The right girl will bring out the hero in you.”
Ryan Reynolds - Deadpool

“- Darius Kinkaid: You know, when life gives you shit, you make Kool-Aid.
- Michael Bryce: That's not really how that expression works.
- Darius Kinkaid: That's the beauty of that motherfucker: life.
- Michael Bryce: Ah. Yeah, well, life, I mean... life doesn't usually give you shit and then turn into a beverage.”
Samuel L. Jackson - Darius Kincaid
Ryan Reynolds - Michael Bryce

“- Recruiter: What if I told you we can cure your cancer? And what's more, give you abilities most mean only dream of?
- Wade: I'd say that you sound like an infomercial, but not a good one, like Slap Chop. More Shake Weight-y.”
Jed Rees - Recruiter
Ryan Reynolds - Wade

“We're not blood-filled meat puppets. I come from a long line of plumbers that can fix a shower, but I can't. Well, Hugh doesn't shower anyway - he's British. It's not being critical, you're just a very under-bathed nation; everybody knows it.”
Ryan Reynolds - Rory Adams

“- Maria: I’ve finally returned to my quiet little life and begun to make peace with it.
- Randy: Say that again with conviction.
- Maria: Don’t be impertinent.”
Helen Mirren - Maria Altmann
Ryan Reynolds - Randol Schoenberg

“- Deadpool: And you are?
- Negasonic Teenage Warhead: Negasonic Teenage Warhead.
- Deadpool: Negasonic Teenage... what the shit? That's the coolest name ever!”
Ryan Reynolds - Deadpool
Brianna Hildebrand - Negasonic Teenage Warhead

“- Professor Albright: How are you feeling?
- Young Damian: It's that new body smell.
- Professor Albright: A sense of humor, good... Just relax and have some fun. After all, at your age, I'd say you've earned it.”
Matthew Goode - Albright
Ryan Reynolds - Young Damian

“- Wade: [Looking at a text from Ajax] What is that?
- Weasel: That's the shit emoji. You know the turd with the smiling face and the eyes? I thought it was chocolate yogurt for so long.”
Ryan Reynolds - Wade
T.J. Miller - Weasel

“- Wade: Do you like what you see?
- Weasel: No. You look like an avocado had sex with an older, more disgusting avocado.”
Ryan Reynolds - Wade
T.J. Miller - Weasel

“Your right leg is Thanksgiving and your left leg is Christmas. Can I come and visit you between the holidays?”

Ryan Reynolds - Wade

“- Darius Kinkaid: Motherfucker, I will bust a cap in your ass, if you don't give up that wheel.
- Michael Bryce: Have you ever said please or thank you?
- Darius Kinkaid: Please, motherfucker!
- Michael Bryce: Why are we always yelling?”
Samuel L. Jackson - Darius Kincaid
Ryan Reynolds - Michael Bryce

“- Margaret Tate: Timeout, ok? This bickering Bickerson thing has got to stop. People need to think that we are in love.
- Andrew Paxton: That's no problem. I can do that. I can pretend to be the doting fiancé. That's easy. But for you, that's going to require that you stop snacking on children while they dream.”
Sandra Bullock - Margaret Tate
Ryan Reynolds - Andrew Paxton

“- Margaret Tate: Why didn't you tell me you were some kind of Alaskan Kennedy?
- Andrew Paxton: How could I? We were in the middle of talking about you, for the last three years.”
Sandra Bullock - Margaret Tate
Ryan Reynolds - Andrew Paxton

“- Mike Hanson: You should stop drinking.
- Girl in Bar: Why? I just got here.
- Mike Hanson: Because you're driving me home.”
Ryan Reynolds - Mike Hanson

“- Blind Al: Looks aren't everything.
- Deadpool: Looks are everything! Ever heard Dave Beckham speak? It's like he mouth-sexed a can of helium. You think Ryan Reynolds got this far on a superior acting method?”
Leslie Uggams - Blind Al
Ryan Reynolds - Deadpool