Steve Zahn movie quotes

“Okay, God, just... I want you to look down on these girls here. They're like little flowers, and the rain you send 'em gutta be gentle and sweet. We come to you today, and we ask you to just... help 'em - help us grab this pageant by the balls and rip 'em off! I mean, if those judges don't like us, then screw 'em. These girls here - they're...” (continue)(continue reading)
Steve Zahn - Wayne

“- Coach: Wait a minute, that's the kidnap victim, ain't it? You didn't kill her.
- Wayne: No, coach.
- Coach: I'm real disappointing in you boys.”
R. Lee Ermey - Coach
Steve Zahn - Wayne

“We came here to meet girls and dance, and we can't meet girls until we dance!”
Steve Zahn - Lenny Haise

“- Dr. Sevard: You don't know what the drugs are. He's got HIV...
- Tucker: Woodruff?
- Ron Woodroof: AIDS... I got AIDS.”
Denis O'Hare - Dr. Sevard
Steve Zahn - Tucker
Matthew McConaughey - Ron Woodroof

“- Monty, the Mouth: Aren't you gonna' run?
- Stuart Little: Why?
- Monty, the Mouth: 'cause you're a mouse.
- Stuart Little: I'm not just a mouse. I'm a member of this family.
- Monty, the Mouth: A mouse with a pet cat?
- Stuart Little: I guess that's pretty funny!
- Monty, the Mouth: Pretty funny? I'm gonna wet my fur! A mouse with a pet cat!”
Steve Zahn - Monty
Michael J. Fox - Stuart Little

“Why didn't you write? What if I missed ya?”

Steve Zahn - Gus McCrae

“- Bad Ape: Who is child?
- Caesar: I don't know.
- Bad Ape: But... she with you.
- Caesar: She has no one else.”
Steve Zahn - Bad Ape
Andy Serkis - Caesar

“Come on, I know what Dad says about me behind my back. That I'm the world's biggest loser. And that's coming from a plumber! That's coming from a man who wears a lime green jumpsuit to work everyday!”
Steve Zahn - Fuller

“- Lenny Haise: He's got a very pretty girlfriend, doesn't he?
- Chrissy Thomkins: It is serious, do you know?
- Lenny Haise: Very serious. I'm single!
- Chrissy Thomkins: What about the bass player?
- Lenny Haise: He's married!”
Steve Zahn - Lenny Haise
Sarah Koskoff - Chrissy Thomkins

“- Hank Rafferty: Do you know how to hot wire a car?
- Earl Montgomery: What? You think because I’m black I can hot wire a car
- Hank Rafferty: Well, can you?
- Earl Montgomery: Yeah! But not because I'm black!”
Steve Zahn - Hank Rafferty
Martin Lawrence - Earl Montgomery

- Nazeer Choudhury: You're a drunk and an idiot.
- Buff: Your wife sucks my cock every night, swallows my cum, and loves it. That's okay.
- Nazeer Choudhury: Yeah, it's okay. You know, we have a saying back home: "either the salt is rotten or the meat".
- Buff: Yeah, well, uh, you're not so smart, chief, 'cause I'm moving out to L.A.
- Nazeer... (continue)(continue reading)
Ajay Naidu - Nazeer Choudhury
Steve Zahn - Buff

- Fuller: Do you ever miss Mom and Dad?
- Lewis : Yeah, I miss Mom's chocolate chip cookies, playing football with Dad on Sundays, going to... Oh wait, that’s somebody else's childhood. What I meant was: "No”.
Steve Zahn - Fuller
Paul William Walker IV - Lewis

“No matter how many sea lions are killed each year by sharks, it never seems like enough.”
Steve Zahn - Peter Gaulke

“Bears are a proud people, although they're not people per-say. They're animals.”
Steve Zahn - Peter Gaulke

“Just leave me some ammo, a little water, some chips if you have 'em.”
Steve Zahn - Runt of the Litter

“I was thinking about the funny part. Here we are, oceanographers and we're gonna probably die in the desert, chained-chained to truck parts... so when they write our obituaries... that'll be the funny part.”

Steve Zahn - Al Giordino

“- Wayne: 'Know what? She's kinda like Mother Teresa.
- J.D.: Yeah, but with way better tits.”
Steve Zahn - Wayne
Jack Black - J.D.

“- Abby Mallard: Hey, remember when that icy blue stuff fell from the sky? Everybody thought it was from space and stuff, and it just turned out to be frozen pee from a jet airplane.
- Runt of the Litter: Yeah, that's right! It's frozen pee. Yeah, it's frozen pee. Pee, pee, pee, pee, pee...”
Joan Cusack - Abby Mallard
Steve Zahn - Runt of the Litter

“- Adam Penenberg: Did you ever call these people and get them directly?
- Stephen Glass: No, I always left messages and spoke to them when they called me back.”

Steve Zahn - Adam Penenberg
Hayden Christensen - Stephen Glass

“I can't think of a single movie that couldn't be improved by a lesbian sex scene.”
Steve Zahn - Freak

“- Dirk Pitt: What would you do if you were about to be exposed as the biggest polluter in history?
- Al Giordino: I don't know. Run for president?”
Matthew McConaughey - Dirk Pitt
Steve Zahn - Al Giordino

“We are Texas Rangers! Our jurisdiction is wherever we happen to be!”
Steve Zahn - Gus McCrae

“I don't care if you've just won an Oscar, you still have to campaign for parts.”
Steve Zahn

“You still really fight for good parts. It never stops. It's never a breeze. The people at the top of their game work as hard as the people at the bottom.”
Steve Zahn

“Most people laugh at situations rather than a tagline anyway.”
Steve Zahn