Ability quotes

“- Charles: I thought you said you were on the trampoline team in high school.
- Laura: I was on the trampoline team in high school.
- Charles: That must have been before it became a competitive sport.
- Laura: I never said I was any good you know.”
John Heard - Charles
Mary Beth Hurt - Laura

- Martin: "Celia was in my employment for three and a half years. She proved herself to be an efficient housekeeper and a lively and provocative conversationalist. I heartily recommend her services".
- Celia: You didn't mention my breasts.
- Martin: Celia has exceptional breasts. Would you like me to add that?

Hugo Weaving - Martin
Geneviève Picot - Celia

“- Karen Sympathy: Bullwinkle, can you rappel?
- Bullwinkle: Sure. I've been repelling viewers for years.”
Piper Perabo - Karen Sympathy
Keith Scott - Bullwinkle

“- Barnes: This kind of thing wasn't in my job description.
- Sergeant: Don't worry, Mr. Barnes. We'll watch your back.
- Barnes: Yeah? Who watches yours?”
Art Evans - Barnes
Ben Lemon - Sergeant

“It doesn't take a great actor to recognize a bad one.”
Tim Allen - Jason Nesmith

“I have this gift, I can smell a lie.”
Rose McGowan - Courtney

“- Jean: I don't think she knows much about how to make love to a man.
- Matthew: She must know something, she's pregnant.
- Jean: That's what I mean. A girl who knows how to make love to a man would never let that happen.”
Rebecca Nelson - Jean Coughlin
Martin Donovan - Matthew Slaughter

“Russian dentists make pretty good dentures.”
Reb Brown - Sgt. Michael Ransom

“I started playing baseball when I was a kid, like everybody else but better than everybody else.”
Tommy Lee Jones - Ty Cobb

“- Press Maravich: A guy once said I had a loose screw when I told him I wanted to play in the pros.
- Pete Maravich: He did?
- Press Maravich: Of course, he never took the time to see me play either.”
Nick Benedict - Press Maravich
Adam Guier - Pete Maravich

“- Lara Royce Craig: Do you speak English?
- Indian Joe: Do I look like some goddamned foreigner?
- Lara Royce Craig: I'm sorry.
- Indian Joe: Of course I speak English, also Creole, French, Spanish. I'm a native born American Indian, not some half breed immigrant like you all.”
Jill Ireland - Lara Royce Craig
Larry Sellers - Indian Joe

“I once knew this guy who could hold his breath under water for hours. Nobody could ever figure out exactly how he did it. Or maybe it wasn't hours, but it sure was a long time.”
Larry B. Scott - Rudy Tyler

“- Jesse: Want me to drive?
- Randolph: You know how to drive?
- Jesse: No, do you?”
Jason James Richter - Jesse
August Schellenberg - Randolph

“I can't shoot ball like Michael Jordan can... but that's alright, though, you know? I'm also gay.”
Bryant L. Crenshaw - Midget

“A bad salesman will automatically drop his price. Bad salesmen make me sick.”
Danny DeVito - Sam Stone

“What one man can do, another can do.”
Philip Anthony Hopkins - Charles Morse

“- Walt: You know, some people say that he talks to the animals. The aborigines call him Jabba-Jahda-Ah-Der-Ahd, which means The Crocodile Who Walks Like a Man.
- Rico: If what you say is true, it's lucky we brought the Kryptonite.”

John Meillon - Walter Reilly
Hechter Ubarry - Luis Rico

“Being a leader isn't about ability. It's about responsibility.”
Bruce Greenwood - Commander Richard Iverson

“- Dubbie the Blonde: Do you speak french?
- Van Kurtzman: No. Do you?
- Dubbie the Blonde: Yes. Not as well as my father's boyfriend. But then again, he is French.”
Carolyn Murphy - Dubbie the Blonde
Adrien Brody - Van Kurtzman

“- Al Stump: Come on, Ty, aren't you going to give Ruth credit for anything?
- Ty Cobb: He could run okay for a fat man.”

Robert Wuhl - Al Stump
Tommy Lee Jones - Ty Cobb

“- Danny McGuire: Kira, I want you to promise me one thing.
- Kira: Anything!
- Danny McGuire: On opening night, I get the first dance.
- Kira: Okay.
- Sonny: You're gonna dance?
- Danny McGuire: Oh, I've been known to twinkle a toe or two.”
Gene Kelly - Danny McGuire
Olivia Newton-Jonn - Kira
Michael Beck - Sonny Malone

“Does anyone have a mother that would hit you with a shoe? I had a mother that would throw a shoe at you at the drop of a dime. And fuck you up wherever she was aiming. So by the time I was like ten, my mother was like Clint Eastwood with a shoe.”
Eddie Murphy - Eddie Murphy

“A sword by itself rules nothing. It only comes alive in skilled hands.”
Sihung Lung - Sir Te

“- Emily Bergman: Well, I got pretty good when I skipped school but it's been a while.
- Barry Bergman: Forgery's like riding a bicycle, you never forget how... I've heard.”
Julianne Nicholson - Emily Bergman
Tom Cavanagh - Barry Bergman

“You have a gift. You're the best swimmer. But you know what I see when I look at it? I see someone fast enough who's going to get there first. I see someone strong enough who's going to last. I see someone who can save a life maybe no one else could. You really want to honor the initials on your arm? Then honor your gift.”
Kevin Costner - Ben Randall