Ability quotes

- Dr. Ben Sobel: You don't hear the word "no" a lot, do you?
- Paul Vitti: I hear it all the time, only it's more like "no, please, no!".
Billy Crystal - Dr. Ben Sobel
Robert De Niro - Paul Vitti

“- Karen Kelly: Do you have any idea how to take care of a child?
- Joe Kingman: I've been doing it for a month now!
- Karen Kelly: And look where we're standing, Joe.”
Paige Turco - Karen Kelly
The Rock - Joe Kingman

“- John McClane: You know how to pick this lock?
- Zeus Carver: Is this some black-shit again?
- John McClane: Hey will you stop that racial shit? Are you a fuckin' locksmith or not?”
Bruce Willis - John McClane
Samuel L. Jackson - Zeus Carver

“- Max Goof: But, Dad, I don't even know how to fish.
- Goofy: That's never stopped me. I'm gonna show you a little secret that has been handed down for twelve or thirteen Goof generations: the perfect cast.”
Jason Marsden - Max Goof
Bill Farmer - Goofy

- Loan Officer: Because we're the "women's bank", we should go against standard banking practices and give you this very large, unsecured loan because you're the right gender.
- Laurel Ayres: Well... you know, it might send a message.
- Loan Officer: Right: that women don't know how to run a bank.
Jean De Baer - Loan Officer
Whoopi Goldberg - Laurel Ayres

“- Sly:I think that if you're going to talk so much out of your ass, maybe you should wear a bow-tie on your butt!
- Basil: A bow-tie on her butt? That's disgusting, Sylvester!
- Teddie: Your syntax is interesting.
- Basil: It's because he watches television all the time. Nice language, Sylvester.”
Leo Fitzgerald - Sly
Connor Leggett - Basil
Amanda Fein - Teddie

“- Harold: What about Dallas? What's his name? What's his problem?
- Taylor: Dallas Woolf. We went to Law School together. He was good in the classroom... I was better in the courtroom. There's no contest in the bedroom!”
Matt Craven - Harold
Michael Biehn - Taylor

“- James Bond: Where did you learn to fight like that? NASA?
- Holly Goodhead: No. Vassar.”
Sir Roger Moore - James Bond
Lois Chiles - Holly Goodhead

“You not only have a gifted mind, but you're also composed. You don't give in to your emotion. You think logically. Ben, you were born for this.”
Kevin Spacey - Micky Rosa

“I got one of them peanut butter pussies: it's brown, smooth and easy to spread.”
LaWanda Page - Female Clown Barfly

“Don't be a poet, be a TV repairman.”
Aubrey Morris - Alfred Beidermeyer

“- James Bond: I trust you can handle this contraption, Q?
- Q: It goes by hot air.
- James Bond: Oh, then you can.”

Sir Roger Moore - James Bond
Desmond Llewelyn - Q

“- Sally Jackson: I've always dreamed of being a big hit singer.
- Dorian Montier: Oh, can you sing?
- Sally Jackson: No, that's why they call them dreams.”
Drew Barrymore - Sally Jackson
Luke Wilson - Dorian Montier

“- Rosco Bigger - Fang: I went to the hospital but there was a line so I drove over to the hardware store, got some needle and thread, and sewed it back on.
- David Leary: You sewed on your own thumb?
- Rosco Bigger - Fang: I'm good at stuff like that.”

Tom Arnold - Rosco Bigger - Fang
Rick Moranis - David Leary

“If you only look where you can't go, you will miss the riches below.”

Ben Affleck - Jennings

“- Jeff Dunham: So you're a superhero?
- Melvin the Superhero Guy: Yes!
- Jeff Dunham: What is your most outstanding feature?
- Melvin the Superhero Guy: My costume.”
Jeff Dunham - Himself
Jeff Dunham - Melvin the Superhero Guy

“- Edward Cullen: I can read every mind in this room, apart from yours. Money. Sex. Money. Sex. Cat. And then you? Nothing. It's very frustrating.
- Bella Swan: Is there something wrong with me?
- Edward Cullen: See, I tell you I can read minds, and you think there's something wrong with you.”
Robert Pattinson - Edward Cullen
Kristen Stewart - Bella Swan

“- Maj. John Reisman: You hit a lieutenant in the back of the head at 220 yards. That's a nice shot.
- Arlen Dregors: The Army didn't think so.
- Maj. John Reisman: But they're prejudiced. I'm not.”
Lee Marvin - Maj. John Reisman
Ricco Ross - Arlen Dregors

“- Data: Captain Picard agrees that the B-4 was probably designed with the same self-actualization parameters as myself. If my memory engrams are successfully integrated into his positronic matrix, he should have all my abilities.
- Geordi La Forge: Yeah, but he would also have all of your memories as well. You feel comfortable with that?
- Data:...” (continue)(continue reading)
Brent Spiner - Data
LeVar Burton - Geordi La Forge

“Being versatile, I played my mother's father.”
James Cagney - George M. Cohan

“- Kathryn Davis: I hope you like chicken. It's the only thing I know how to make.
- Paul Kersey: Chicken's good. I like chicken.”
Deborah Raffin - Kathryn Davis
Charles Bronson - Paul Kersey

“- Kali: Do you know how to fight?
- Ashe Corven: Do you know how to die?”
Thuy Trang - Kali
Vincent Perez - Ashe Corven

“Here in America, we can fabricate anything.”
Emilio Estevez - John Wisdom

“- Bartender: Where did you learn how to fight like that?
- Christopher Dubois: It was long ago.”
Gordon Masten - Bartender
Jean-Claude Van Damme - Christopher Dubois

“- Bill Williamson: Clem never told me you could sing like that, Selina.
- Selina Rogers: I couldn't when Clem went away... but I practiced, and I studied. I've always been ambitious.”
Bill Robinson - Bill Williamson
Lena Mary Calhoun Horne - Selina Rogers