Ability quotes

“- Marge, the Real Estate Broker: Do you have children?
- Waldemar: As often as we can.”
Carole Androsky - Marge, the Real Estate Lady
Jeffrey Tambor - Waldemar

“My journey to maturity began in New York, in 1928. I was married to Charles Rawlings, the newspaper man and yachting enthusiast. I had been trying to write stories that I thought would be most likely to sell - gothic romances were extremely popular - and I had written dozens. I was desperate to express myself. Even as a child I'd been consumed...” (continue)(continue reading)
Mary Steenburgen - Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings

“It's the recipes that you create yourself that are the best.”

Bob Balaban - Therapist

“- Labia: Was it as good for you as it was for me?
- Testiculi: I didn't expect the earth to move, but I at least expected you to.
- Labia: You're so romantic...”

Sally Patience - Labia
Des Mangan - Testiculi

“- Billie Pike: How do you know dead people can't see us?
- Willard Young: Because I can't see them.
- Billie Pike: You can't see germs either.
- Willard Young: You can see them with a microscope.
- Billie Pike: Maybe nobody's ever invented a way to see ghosts yet.”
Thora Birch - Billie Pike
Elijah Wood - Willard Young

“- Al Trautwig: Do you think she can get the team out of the basement?
- Rudolph Giuliani: She can't do any worse.”

Al Trautwig - Himself
Rudolph Giuliani - Himself

“- Cry-Baby: I can sing pretty good.
- Mrs. Vernon-Williams: Well,'not 'good'. Haven't you ever heard of the English language?”
Johnny Depp - Cry-Baby
Polly Bergen - Mrs. Vernon-Williams

“I don't want to make trouble for anybody. I can, of course, but I don't want to.”
Dan Duryea - Heidt

“- James T. Kirk: How much refit time before we can take her out again?
- Scotty: Eight weeks, sir. But ye don't have eight weeks, so I'll do it for ye in two.
- James T. Kirk: Mr. Scott. Have you always multiplied your repair estimates by a factor of four?
- Scotty: Certainly, sir. How else can I keep my reputation as a miracle worker?”
William Shatner - James T. Kirk
James Doohan - Scotty

“- Tess Harding: I'm going to be your wife. You don't think that I can do the little ordinary things that any idiot can do, do you?
- Sam Craig: No.
- Tess Harding: Why not?
- Sam Craig: Because you're incapable of doing them, that's why.”
Katharine Hepburn - Tess Harding
Spencer Tracy - Sam Craig

“- Sam Mussabini: Eric Liddell? He's no real problem...
- Harold M. Abrahams: You could have fooled me.
- Sam Mussabini: Yeah, he's fast! But he won't go any faster. He's a gut runner, digs deep! But a short sprint is run on nerves. It's tailor-made for neurotics.”

Sir Ian Holm - Sam Mussabini
Ben Cross - Harold Abrahams

“- T.J.: Have you ever had sex with a man before?
- Gia Carangi: Yeah, once.
- T.J.: And?
- Gia Carangi: And... I could have done that with a German Shepard.”
Eric Michael Cole - T.J.
Angelina Jolie - Gia Carangi

“We've been hunting a man who knows how to live off the land and use it to reign.”

Lee Marvin - Millen

“- Anne Osborne: Why don't you believe that the killers were cops?
- Remy McSwain: Because if they were cops, they would've stayed right here. And when we arrived, we would've found plants, guns, knives, all kinds of evidence that they resisted arrest. That's somethin' every cop in the world knows how to do.”

Ellen Barkin - Anne Osborne
Dennis Quaid - Remy McSwain

“- Sherri: Our Max is quite a catch. How did you manage it?
- Nora: I give a good blowjob, I guess.
- Sherri: Hmm... I bet you do!
- Nora: And I bet you don't.”
Barbara Howard - Sherri Klugman
Susan Sarandon - Nora Baker

“I never did one thing right in my life, you know that? Not one. That takes skill.”
Samuel L. Jackson - Mitch Henessey

“I think, instead of passport photographs, they should let you do a drawing of yourself.”
Joyce Deans - Stephanie

“- Paul Ruth: I want you to access the Ripe program. I do not have ConSec computer clearance.
- Cameron Vale: Neither do I.
- Paul Ruth: But you do have a nervous system. And so does a computer. And you can scan a computer, as you would another human being.”
Patrick McGoohan - Dr. Paul Ruth
Stephen Lack - Cameron Vale

“- Patches O'Houlihan: If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball.
- Justin: What?
[Patches O'Houlihan throws a wrench and hits Justin in the face]”
Rip Torn - Patches O'Houlihan
Justin Long - Justin

“- Kate: Do you think you could urinate with someone standing behind you?
- Mom: I think I could manage it. Are you going to be the someone?”
Meg Ryan - Kate
François Cluzet - Bob

“I've been quite hard on you, Mildred. But I wouldn't have troubled if I hadn't always thought you had potential.”
Diana Rigg - Miss Constance Hardbroom

“Boss, take off your sunglasses when you go in. Palace guards say they can tell assassin by his eyes.”

Domingo Landicho - Hortono

“- Donnie Darko: How can you do that?
- Frank: I can do anything I want. And so can you.”
Jake Gyllenhaal - Donnie Darko
James Duval - Frank

“- Dr. Kaufman: I am to torture you if you don't do it.
- James Bond: Do you have a doctorate in that as well?
- Dr. Kaufman: No, no this is more like a hobby... but I am very gifted.
- James Bond: Oh, I believe you.”
Vincent Schiavelli - Dr. Kaufman
Pierce Brosnan - James Bond

“- Johnny Storm: I could catch him, but he's too strong for me.
- Ben Grimm: I could whale on him, but he'd see me from a mile away.”

Chris Evans - Johnny Storm
Michael Chiklis - Ben Grimm