Ability quotes

“Come on, You gotta do it, or you're just another version of Major Lemond, with a slightly hipper rap!”

Robert Downey Jr. - Billy

“I have to teach myself not to read too much into everything. It comes from too long having to read so much into hardly anything at all.”
Julian Wadham - Madox

“- Alex Mason, Sr.: This is the bodyguard?
- Frank Olsen: Terrible mistake, sir. I'll get rid of him immediately.
- Alex Mason, Sr.: Wrong! He's incredible. Obviously a real pro.”

Robert Hy Gorman - Alex Mason, Jr.
Raymond O'Connor - Frank Olsen

“- Kyle Davidson: That's my song playing on the radio!
- Driver: You wrote that song?
- Kyle Davidson: Yeah!
- Bystander: You're a better songwriter than you are a driver.”

Dermot Mulroney - Kyle Davidson

“My cat can eat a whole watermelon.”
Crispin Glover - Rubin Farr

“I love humans. They always see patterns in things that aren't there.”
Paul McGann - The Doctor

“I would very much like you to meet Judy. She can suck a golf ball through twenty feet of garden hose. Ain't that right?”
Robert Pastorelli - Vinnie

“- Aramis: I hope your sword is as quick as your mouth.
- D'Artagnan: It's quicker.
- Aramis: Ah, a duel then.
- D'Artagnan: A duel.”
Charlie Sheen - Aramis
Chris O'Donnell - D'Artagnan

“- John McClane: Here take this.
- Zeus Carver: How's it work?
- John McClane: You don't know how to shoot a gun?
- Zeus Carver: Look, all brothers don't know how to shoot guns, you racist motherfucker.
- John McClane: Sue me.”
Bruce Willis - John McClane
Samuel L. Jackson - Zeus Carver

“- Tom Hardy: Why did you change your testimony?
- Jo Christman: Why do you think?
- Tom Hardy: You cheat good.”
Bruce Willis - Det. Tom Hardy
Sarah Jessica Parker - Jo Christman

“- Jade: A bazooka, Rowdy?
- Rowdy Abilene: It's the only gun I can hit a moving target with.”

Harold Diamond - Jade
Ronn Moss - Rowdy Abilene

“- Stanley Motss: I bet you're great at chess.
- Conrad Brean: I would be if I could remember how all the pieces moved.”
Dustin Hoffman - Stanley Motss
Robert De Niro - Conrad Brean

“A man is not a man unless he knows how to mix a proper Martini and tie a proper bowtie.”
Mickey Rourke - Michael Bosworth

“- Bung: Do I detect the unmistakable tang of Ye Olde Tiger?
- Harry: Bung, you could sniff out a can of beer from half a mile away.
- Bung: Just one of my many talents.”
John Hargreaves - Bung
Graham Kennedy - Harry

“- Dr. Claire Lewicki: Boy, you're very quick.
- Cole Trickle: You oughta see me drive.”
Nicole Kidman - Dr. Claire Lewicki
Tom Cruise - Cole Trickle

“Good doctors do the correct thing. Great doctors have the guts to do the right thing. Your father had those guts.”

Gene Hackman - Dr. Lawrence Myrick

“- Ellen Keith: How was I?
- Roland 'Rollie' Tyler: You were great. Nobody dies like you.”
Diane Venora - Ellen Keith
Bryan Brown - Roland 'Rollie' Tyler

“- George: Mr. Murtaugh has a gun.
- Martin Riggs: Yeah, but it's an old gun and he's not a very good shot.”
Allan Dean Moore - George
Mel Gibson - Martin Riggs

“I run a show here. It's a lot of smoke and noise and it's strictly for the suckers. I've been pulling one kind of scam or another since I was your age, and if there's one thing I know it's how to spot the genuine article because that's what you've got to watch out for.”
Steve Martin - Jonas

“Gentlemen, congratulations. You're everything we've come to expect from years of government training. Now please step this way, as we provide you with our final test: an eye exam...”

Rip Torn - Zed

- Lord Rogers: What else is there? She says, "Is beauty all that matters?", and you say, "What else is there?"!
- Adult Prince Derek: It was dumb. I know!
- Lord Rogers: You should write a book: "How to Offend Women in Five Syllables or Less.".
Mark Harelik - Lord Rogers
Howard McGillin - Adult Prince Derek

“Dad, he reckons power lines are a reminder of man's ability to generate electricity.”
Stephen Curry - Dale Kerrigan

“- Mrs. Wilkinson: This'll sound strange, Billy, but for some time now I've been thinkin' of the Royal Ballet School.
- Billy: Aren't you a bit old, miss?
- Mrs. Wilkinson: No, not me... you! I'm the bloody teacher!”
Julie Walters - Mrs Wilkinson
Jamie Bell - Billy

“You can unlock any door, if you only have the key.”

Elizabeth Hartman - Mrs. Brisby

I name this here fork "Pittsburgh Nellie”, a Welsh whore who could do things with her one good arm that'd make you forget that thing on her neck.
Chris Farley - Bartholomew Hunt