Ability quotes

“Don't worry about it. They always hire bums like me for jobs like this.”

Michael Paré - Tom Cody

“- Larry Haines: You sure you know how to run this thing?
- Karen Bentley: Sure! My brother's a British ace.
- Larry Haines: Well, my uncle's a dogcatcher, but I can't bark.”

Bob Hope - Larry Haines
Madeleine Carroll - Karen Bentley

“- Max: Well?
- John Hatcher: One thought he was invincible... the other thought he could fly.
- Max: So?
- John Hatcher: They were both wrong.”
Keith David - Max
Steven Seagal - John Hatcher

“Some get high on airplane glue... detergents... fancy gimmicks. My satori is this: Zen in the art of buttering bread!”
Richard Bohringer - Gorodish

“- Alexander Sebastian: That's almost great.
- Jill Baker: Who painted it?
- Alexander Sebastian: A woman. No man could be so malicious.”
Burgess Meredith - Alexander Sebastian
Merle Oberon - Jill Baker

“- McCroskey: Jacobs, what have you got on Elaine Dickinson?
- Jacobs: Well, I'm two inches taller, a better dancer, and much more fun to be with.”
Lloyd Bridges - McCroskey
Stephen Stucker - Jacobs

- Boris Pochenko: I don't know where anything is in this kitchen.
- Joy Miller: Oh come on, "I can find food in Ghandi's house", are you kidding me?
Timothy Dalton - Boris Pochenko
Fran Drescher - Joy Miller

“A good basketball player can make up for a lot if he has hands as fast as a gunfighter.”
Nick Benedict - Press Maravich

“- Tenderheart Bear: You're doing great, Alice!
- Alice: Thanks to my friendly flamingo.
- Flamingo: I just happen to be the best in the business.”
Jim Henshaw - Tenderheart Bear
Tracey Moore - Alice in Wondeland
Alan Fawcett - Flamingo

“- Julie Pierce: Congratulations? That's all you're gonna say is congratulations? Don't I get a belt or something?
- Miyagi: Buy belt more.
- Julie Pierce: No, I mean a karate belt. Brown belt, black belt.
- Miyagi: Why need belt?
- Julie Pierce: So everyone knows I'm good!
- Miyagi: You know you good. That important thing.”
Hilary Swank - Julie Pierce
Pat Morita - Miyagi

“Come on, get up! Get on that line! Get on that line, LaRusso! You're worthless! Your slope teacher's nothing! Get up, man! You're no champion! Get up! You suck, LaRusso! You suck, man! And your teacher's karate shit! You hear me! It's shit!”
Sean Kanan - Mike Barnes

“- Jacob the Tiger: Have you ever done this operation before?
- Dr. John Dolittle: Yeah, once in medical school. But it was to a cadaver. But my professor told me I did such a good job that, had my patient not been dead, he would've lived.
- Jacob the Tiger: Very comforting, doc.”

Albert Brooks - Jacob the Tiger
Eddie Murphy - Dr. John Dolittle

“I'm running this place. I'm good at it. Did anybody ever think I was good at anything? I sure didn't.”

Jessica Lange - Babs

“I could find a penguin in a sand storm.”
Henry Gomez - Cab Driver

“- Alan Abernathy: My suggestion was torch the place.
- Joe: Not a good idea. Arson forensics nowadays is very sophisticated.”
Gregory Smith - Alan Abernathy
Dick Miller - Joe

“- Tony Manero: She can dance, you know that? She's got the wrong partner of course, but she can dance.
- Joey: So then why don't you ask her?
- Tony Manero: Fuck you.
- Joey: Which position?”
John Travolta - Tony Manero
Joseph Cali - Joey

“- Denny: In my family, a man has only to look at a woman and she's pregnant.
- Rita: That's because you're all so cockeyed.”
Malcolm Douglas - Denny
Julie Walters - Rita

“Tell me something I-I'm curious. How do you dial a phone with a straitjacket on?”
Eric Bogosian - Barry

“- Remo Williams: Are you hurt?
- Chiun: No. When you approach middle age, there is a tendency toward bruising, my son.
- Remo Williams: What? What did you call me?
- Chiun: I called you a clumsy oaf! You drive like a monkey in heat!”
Fred Ward - Remo Williams
Joel Grey - Chiun

“He can act and he can sing and he can dance. There's only one other person in the world who can do all that, and that's Barbra Streisand.”
Michael Hitchcock - Steve Stark - Councilman

“- Jay: You chose me, so you recognized the skills, so I don't want nobody calling me son or kid or sport or nothing like that, cool?
- Kay: Cool, whatever you say, slick, but I need to tell you something about all your skills. As of right now, they mean precisely... dick.”
Will Smith - Jay
Tommy Lee Jones - Kay

“Why do you think the same five guys make it to the final table of the World Series of Poker every year? What, are they the luckiest guys in Las Vegas? It's a skill game Jo.”

Matt Damon - Mike McDermott

“- WitSec Agent Calderon: Who does this guy think he is?
- U.S. Marshal Robert DeGuerin: Who, him? Well, he thinks he's the best guy in the game. I think he's right. Try not to piss him off, okay?”

Nick Chinlund - WitSec Agent Calderon
James Caan - U.S. Marshal Robert DeGuerin

“- Nicky Santoro: What's takin' so long over there?
- Frank Marino: This peter's a motherfucker.
- Jack Hardy: It's workin'. Just keep workin' it. It's comin'.
- Nicky Santoro: Gotta learn how to open these fuckin' things so you won't have to take 'em.”

Joe Pesci - Nicky Santoro
Frank Vincent - Frank Marino
Jed Mills - Jack Hardy

“- Vincent: Are you sure you can do this?
- Sam: I once removed a guy's appendix with a grapefruit spoon.”

Jean Reno - Vincent
Robert De Niro - Sam