Cars quotes

“- Richard: No way that just happened. My car is completely destroyed.
- Tommy: I swear I've seen a lot of stuff in my life, but that... was... awesome.
[bursts out laughing]
- Tommy: ... But, sorry about your car, man. That... that sucks.”
David Spade - Richard
Chris Farley - Tommy

“If the 405 is your morning route, I hope you don't have a history of showing up late to work, 'cause today you're fired.”

Tamala Jones - Laura Leeton

“Okay let's see, $5 an hour, 6 hours a day, 5 days a week, I should be able to pay off the car in... oh, another lifetime!”
Kenan Thompson - Dexter Reed

“- Fred Simmon: I wanna sell this car, I wanna get rid of it, but that doesn't mean I'm gonna unload it on any little yahoo that comes in here off the street, thinking this car's neat-o. I wanna check your credentials. I gotta know what kind of man you are. Why don't you tell me a little bit about yourself?
- Man Who Buys Car: Well, I've always...” (continue)(continue reading)
Danny McBride - Fred Simmons
Paul C. Hill Jr. - Man Who Buys Car

“- Assistant Mechanic: Never heard of no one so shit-all stupid as you drivin' off that road. You musta got manure for your brains.
- Clark Griswold: Yeah, well, I'm from out of town.”
John Diehl - Assistant Mechanic
Chevy Chase - Clark Griswold

“- Aunt Louise: Captain, how can a car release a boy with a key? Explain that.
- Captain Blythe: I can't explain that anymore than I can explain the Bermuda Triangle, madam. Nor do I intend to try.”
Cloris Leachman - Aunt Louise
Harvey Korman - Captain Blythe

“Hello, ladies. I always was a sucker for a redhead.”

Angelina Jolie - Sara 'Sway' Wayland

“Harvey, will you be good to yourself and use your car? Will you take a look at this? 6,000 pounds of solid comfort. It takes up space, it pollutes the atmosphere, it scares the birds, fuck 'em. I love it!”
Bill Macy - Sam

“Do you have a normal radio in here for music? I was just thinking that when you're parked somewhere waiting for a guy to speed, you'd want some music to help pass the time.”

Ryan Gosling - Leland P. Fitzgerald

“Spirit. Thank you. Thank you for providing us with the direct-port nitrous... uh... injection, four-core intercoolers, an' ball-bearing turbos, and... um... titanium valve springs. Thank you.”

Chad Lindberg - Jesse

“Captain, I am the sponsor of that little car. It's going to win the Brazil Grand Primeo.”

Cloris Leachman - Aunt Louise

- Vinny: Come on, get in the car. Please, baby.
- Dionna: Baby? Don't you dare "baby" me! I'm gonna wait here! I'm gonna wait here until somebody comes along. You know what? I'm gonna wait here until some soul brother comes along in his big black Cadillac. And you know and I know that he's got a big black dick too.
John Leguizamo - Vinny
Mira Sorvino - Dionna

I was driving to work today. Some bozo in a Cadillac cuts me off. So I followed him. When he got out of his car, I run up behind this guy and I start bashing his brains in with this bat. Did you ever see "The Untouchables"? I was De Niro!
Regis Philbin - Regis Philbin

“- Police chopper pilot: He's gone.
- Det. Roland Castlebeck: God!
- Detective Drycoff: Man this guy can drive!
- Det. Roland Castlebeck: What? What?
- Detective Drycoff: It's probably mostly the car...”

Delroy Lindo - Det. Roland Castlebeck
Timothy Olyphant - Detective Drycoff

“- Stuntman Mike: I wanted it to be impressive and... scary tends to impress.
- Pam: Is it safe?
- Stuntman Mike: No, it's better than safe. It's death-proof.
- Pam: How do you make a car death-proof?
- Stuntman Mike: Well, that's what stuntmen do.”

Kurt Russell - Stuntman Mike
Rose McGowan - Pam

“Ask any racer. Any real racer. It don't matter if you win by an inch or a mile. Winning's winning.”
Vin Diesel - Dominic Toretto

“Frank, what do you know? It's you and me again tonight. The rough riders, tearing up the streets, just like old times. This old bus is a warrior, Frank. I have tried to kill her, but she will not die. I have a great respect for that.”

Tom Sizemore - Tom Wolls

- Walter: Maybe one day I'll be reincarnated and come back as a sensitive guy.
- Jeff Dunham: Sure.
- Walter: Driving blue frickin' Prius. That is the saddest little vehicle.
- Jeff Dunham: It's a great car!
- Walter: You ever heard it when you drive by?
- Jeff Dunham: No.
- Walter: It goes "IIIIIII'm gaaaaayyyyyy".
Jeff Dunham - Walter
Jeff Dunham - Himself

“The Chinese are smart people, but such bad drivers. They should not be allowed to even wash cars.”
Kayvan Novak - Arash

“- Donald Woods: Do you know anyone we can trust, who has a car?
- Tami: I trust me! And I have a car!”
Kevin Kline - Donald Woods
Tommy Buson - Tami

“There was a peculiar sound, and Xi saw a most amazing animal approaching. Its legs went around instead of up and down. And there was a weird-looking god on its back. He wore blue skin on his head and red on his body. And hair grew on his face.”

Paddy O'Byrne - Narrator

“There's no place to turn around... there's never any place to turn around! This sucks! Assholes don't know how to make roads...”
Tyler Shea Cone - Barry

“- Isobel von Schmidt: When did you join the police force?
- Miles Kendig: It's the only car I could find that had any gas in it.”
Glenda May Jackson - Isobel von Schmidt
Walter Matthau - Miles Kendig

“- Gary Johnston: Jesus, this is a nice limo.
- Spottswoode: Yes, it is. Now suck my cock! Just kidding.”
Trey Parker - Gary Johnston
Daran Norris - Spottswoode

“A bear in his natural habitat. A Studebaker!”

Frank Oz - Fozzie Bear