Christ quotes

“- Fred Ritter: Jesus!
- Johnny 5: Christ, lived from 1 to 33 AD.”

Michael McKean - Fred Ritter
Tim Blaney - Johnny 5

“My father came back from the Korean War with his brains so scrambled, he thought he was Jesus! They put him in a nuthouse for five years, when he came out, he didn't think he was Jesus no more, he thought he was God. Which made me Jesus. This shit got pretty heavy.”
Charlie Barnett - Tyrone

“I have immunity from the Justice Department, and I have immunity from the Risen Jesus.”
Gary Leonard Oldman - Mason Verger

“- Gus: What are you doing?
- Charlie: He's crying. Jesus, Gus, he's crying for what we've done, for our sin.”

Simon Pegg - Gus
David Schwimmer - Charlie

“- Brian Cohen: I am not the Messiah!
- Arthur: I say you are Lord, and I should know. I've followed a few.”
Graham Arthur Chapman - Brian Cohen
John Marwood Cleese - Arthur

“- Dr. Verboven: Jack, Jesus Christ would never point a gun at another human being.
- Jack McDermott: Stay out of my psychosis!”
MacIntyre Dixon - Dr. Verboven
Peter Boyle - Jack McDermott

“- Carietta 'Carrie' White: Jesus will help me. He will help me if I really need him.
- Margaret White: Not if he doesn't love you anymore.
- Carietta 'Carrie' White: Jesus loves everybody Momma. Even me!”

Angela Bettis - Carietta 'Carrie' White
Patricia Clarkson - Margaret White

“- Father Casey: Jesus H Christ!
- Tim Sullivan: What does the 'H' stand for Father?”
Vincent D'Onofrio - Father Casey
Kieran Culkin - Tim Sullivan

“- Miranda: Father Tony... What are you doing in the pool?
- Brother Tony: The Lord works in mysterious ways.”
Jennifer Tilly - Miranda
Peter Gallagher - Brother Tony

“Jesus made me this way so I could suffer and be reborn the way he wanted me!”
Felicity Huffman - Bree

“I gave Jesus a chance. But it just didn't work out between us. The Lord laid too much guilt on me. I prefer metaphysics to theology. You see, there's no guilt in baseball, and it's never boring,”
Susan Sarandon - Annie Savoy

“- Father Ritley: Body of Christ.
- Evian: Are these non-fat?”

Mark McKinney - Father Ritley
Elaine Hendrix - Evian

“- Man Attendant: Jesus!
- Security Guard: Jesus ain't got nothin' to do with this place.”
David Jensen - Man Attendant
Raymond O'Connor - Security Guard

I'm all for believing whatever it is that you want to believe; but you say "religion" and I'm thinking Da Vinci's "Last Supper". Jesus looks sad, the apostles look miserable. I don't want to go to their party. Shouldn't religion be more like "Dogs Playing Poker"?

Kandyse McClure - Sue Snell

“Don't make waves. Because unlike Jesus, we can't walk on them.”
Peter Boyle - Dr. Sebastian Melmoth

“- Jeremy Collier: It's not that I'm asking for the car...
- Bob Collier: Hm?
- Jeremy Collier: ...But you know, Jesus didn't have a job.
- Bob Collier: That's right. He didn't have a car either, and he walked everywhere.”
Emilio Estevez - Jeremy Collier
Martin Sheen - Bob Collier

“Jesus was never meant to die. He failed.”
Patrick Brymer - Dr. Dwyer

“If you commit yourself to the love of Christ, then that is how you run a straight race.”
Ian Charleson - Eric Liddell

“From now on, we are enemies, You and I. Because You choose for Your instrument a boastful, lustful, smutty, infantile boy and give me for reward only the ability to recognize the incarnation. Because You are unjust, unfair, unkind, I will block You, I swear it. I will hinder and harm Your creature as far as I am able. I will ruin Your incarnation.”

F. Murray Abraham - Antonio Salieri

“- Mitch Weaver: There's two kinds of people in this world: those who get stomped on and those who do the stomping.
- Kathy: Where'd you come up with that theory?
- Mitch Weaver: That famous guy said it. What's his name? Uh... oh, yeah: Jesus!”
Norm MacDonald - Mitch Weaver
Traylor Howard - Kathy

“Is there any boy in this class who thinks he's perfect? If so, raise your hands. Is there any boy here now who has money galore to be spending on shoes? Raise your hands. No. There are boys in this class who have no shoes at all and it's not their fault. It's not their shame. Our lord died shoeless! You don't see our lord hanging on the cross...” (continue)(continue reading)

“- Clyde Percy: How can you stand next to him?
- Sister Helen Prejean: Mr. Percy, I'm just trying to follow the example of Jesus, who said that a person is not as bad as his worst deed.
- Clyde Percy: This is not a person. This is an animal.”
R. Lee Ermey - Clyde Percy
Susan Sarandon - Sister Helen Prejean

“Church music? It's too good for the Church. Jesus was too good for the Church, ya' ask me. You know, he shook things up. He was... he was an anarchist, ya' know? He, uh, he threw the money lenders outta the temple. First thing he's gonna do when he comes back is torch the Vatican!”
Woody Harrelson - Vince Boudreau

“- Columbus: I believe the Indies are no more than 750 leagues west of the Canary Islands.
- Antonio de Marchena: How can you be so certain?
- Columbus: The calculations of Toscanelli, Marin de Tyr, Esdras...
- Antonio de Marchena: Esdras is a Jew...
- Columbus: So was Christ.”
Gérard Depardieu - Columbus
Fernando Rey - Marchena

“He's the Lord Jesus Christ, Vic. He's the Son of God.”

Mimi Rogers - Sharon