Christ quotes

“If I was God, I wouldn't let that happen to my boy.”

Tom Hulce - Dominick Luciano

“- Manny: Look, Jesus Christ was 33 when he died. People are still talking about Him.
- Bobby Rayburn: Jesus Christ? Give me my damn number!”

John Leguizamo - Manny
Wesley Snipes - Bobby Rayburn

“What Jesus fails to appreciate is that it's the meek who are the problem.”
John Marwood Cleese - Reg

“- Admiral Bates: Who the hell is that?
- General Stanley Cooper: Jesus Christ!
- Travis Dane: Not quite, General Cooper. Although, I have sort of risen from the dead! No, it's just your old friend Travis Dane. You remember? They guy you fired!”
Andy Romano - Admiral Bates
Kurtwood Smith - General Stanley Cooper
Eric Bogosian - Travis Dane

“- Mandy Cohen: What star sign is he?
- Wise Man #2: Capricorn.
- Mandy Cohen: Capricorn? What are they like?
- Wise Man #2: He is the son of God, our Messiah.”
Terry Jones - Mandy Cohen
Graham Arthur Chapman - Wise Man #2

That's why I'm glad Jesus died when he did. Because if he lived to be 40, he would have ended up like Elvis. He was famous already at that point. If he lived to be 40, he'd be walking around Jerusalem with a big fat beer gut and black side burns going: "Damn, I'm the son of God. Give me a cheeseburger and french fries right now".
Denis Colin Leary - Himself

“- Jimmy Swaggart: Thank you Jesus!
- Jerry Lee Lewis: Well don't thank Jesus, thank Jerry Lee Lewis.”
Alec Baldwin - Jimmy Swaggart
Dennis Quaid - Jerry Lee Lewis