Computer quotes

“- Tom Valco: I told you, we shouldn't have put the computer up in his room. He's gonna spend all his time there.
- Christine Valco: Oh, Tom. Welcome to the future, dear. He's advancing his skills. One day that computer's gonna get our baby a good job.
- Tom Valco: Trust me. What he's doing up there, nobody's gonna pay him for, 'cause if they did...” (continue)(continue reading)

James Gandolfini - Tom Valco
Catherine O'Hara - Christine Valco

“Human beings were not meant to sit in little cubicles staring at computer screens all day, filling out useless forms and listening to eight different bosses drone on about about mission statements.”
Ron Livingston - Peter

“[doing his best c3p0 voice] We are in serious trouble my friends. All data points to us being... how do you human's say it? Completely screwed.”
Seth Green - Dan Mott

“- Louise Baltimore: Your mother was a cash register!
- Sherman: And she turned a tidy profit.”
Cheryl Ladd - Louise Baltimore
Robert Joy - Sherman

“- Housewares Saleswoman: I think everything's gonna be computerized in twenty years.
- Sylvie: Soup won't be computerized. It's a liquid.”
Patricia Skeriotis - Housewares Saleswoman
Carlie Westerman - Sylvie

“- Scotty: Hello, computer.
- Dr. Nichols: Just use the keyboard.
- Scotty: Keyboard. How quaint.”

James Doohan - Scotty
Alex Henteloff - Nichols

“Attractive! Nice software.”

Tim Blaney - Number 5

“- White Queen: I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you. I am the artificial intelligence which...
- Alice: Yeah, I know what you are. I knew your sister. She was a homicidal bitch.
- White Queen: My sister computer was merely following the most logical path of preservation of human life.
- Alice: Yeah. Kill a few, save a lot.”

Madeline Carroll - White Queen
Milla Jovovich - Alice

“- Tina Harwood: She figured that out on her computer.
- Gen Harwood: Mom, the computer can't make the jumps for you.”

Kim Cattrall - Tina Harwood
Hayden Panettiere - Gen Harwood

“- Billy Brennan: You like computers, right?
- Dr. Grant: I like the abacus, Billy.”
Alessandro Nivola - Billy Brennan
Sam Neill - Dr. Alan Grant

“My wife was right. I spent my whole life hiding behind computer screens, and it cost me my daughter. But it's time to let go because... because I met an extraordinary woman and she needs my help. I won't make the same mistake twice.”
Ewan McGregor - Eye

“- Milo Hoffman: Doesn't Bill Gates have something like that?
- Gary Winston: Bill Who?”
Ryan Phillippe - Milo Hoffman
Tim Robbins - Gary Winston

- Ed Dillinger: The MCP is the most efficient way of handling what we do! I can't sit here and worry about every little user request that comes in!
- Dr. Walter Gibbs: User requests are what computers are for!
- Ed Dillinger: "Doing our business" is what computers are for.
David Warner - Ed Dillinger
Barnard Hughes - Dr. Walter Gibbs

“- Dr. Walter Gibbs: You've got to expect some static. After all, computers are just machines; they can't think.
- Alan Bradley: Some programs will be thinking soon.
- Dr. Walter Gibbs: Won't that be grand? Computers and the programs will start thinking and the people will stop.”
Barnard Hughes - Dr. Walter Gibbs
Bruce Boxleitner - Alan Bradley

“- Elliot Richards: What are you doing here?
- The Devil: Just think of me as a computer virus.
- Elliot Richards: I think of you as a plague!”

Brendan Fraser - Elliot Richards

“- Rat: How many languages do you speak?
- Zimsky: Five, actually.
- Rat: I speak one... One Zero One Zero Zero. With that I could steal your money, your secrets, your sexual fantasies, your whole life. Any country, any place, any time I want. We multitask like you breathe. I couldn't think as slow as you if I tried.”
DJ Qualls - Rat
Stanley Tucci - Zimsky

“- Paul Ruth: I want you to access the Ripe program. I do not have ConSec computer clearance.
- Cameron Vale: Neither do I.
- Paul Ruth: But you do have a nervous system. And so does a computer. And you can scan a computer, as you would another human being.”
Patrick McGoohan - Dr. Paul Ruth
Stephen Lack - Cameron Vale

“- Data: My operation depends on specifications that do not change. I will never know the experience of growing up or tripping over my own feet.
- Artim: But you've never had adults telling you what to do all the time, or bedtimes, or having to eat food you don't like.
- Data: I would gladly accept the requirement of a bedtime in exchange for...” (continue)(continue reading)
Brent Spiner - Data
Michael Welch - Artim

“We have things those computers can never have like instincts and feelings and moral judgment. You can call me old-fashioned, you can call it whatever you want but I just don't think that in war the action should ever be divorced from the consequences.”
Josh Lucas - Lt. Ben Gannon

“- Bernie: X, circle, X X, double left square, right trigger down, square, square.
- Ernie: Oh, double square! Respect!
- Bernie: Respect!”

Doug E. Doug - Bernie
Ziggy Marley - Ernie

“Our whole world is sitting there on a computer. It's in the computer, everything: your DMV records, your social security, your credit cards, your medical records... It's all right there. Everyone is stored in there.”
Sandra Bullock - Angela

“Heaven is just a mouse click away.”
Christopher Grace - Pete Monash

“We don't take anything seriously, unless it's on a hard drive.”
Tygh Runyan - Larry Banks

“A child with a stick of chewing gum has just rendered your hundred million dollars of hardware useless.”

Ron Frazier - General Graycliffe

“- David Lightman: Joshua called me.
- McKittrick: David, computers don't call people!
- David Lightman: Yours did.”
Matthew Broderick - David
Dabney Coleman - McKittrick