Crime quotes

“The first and most important rule of gun-running is to never get shot with your own merchandise.”
Nicolas Cage - Yuri Orlov

“- Quentin: They watched us get arrested. We're practically ex-convicts. They'll never dance with us.
- O'Dell: Jesus, Quentin, you don't know anything about women.”
Chris Owen - Quentin
Chad Lindberg - O'Dell

“- Loc Dog: I told her I don't want to be on welfare my whole life, you know what i'm sayin'. Hey for real nigga I got bigger and better plans, you know what i'm sayin'. Figured I'd get me a job at the post office, you know, maybe at a bank. You know what I'm saying.
- Ashtray: That's all good, man.
- Loc Dog: Work real hard. Work my way up to...” (continue)(continue reading)
Marlon Wayans - Loc Dog
Shawn Wayans - Ashtray

“- Lloyd: I'm going to be your hostage, then they have to reason with you. I'm your guarantee.
- Putter: Like when you buy a car.
- Ophelia: That's a warranty.”

Keith Gordon - Lloyd
Yeardley Smith - Putter
Martha Gehman - Ophelia

“- Jacob Rixley: I want your sons, Mrs. Samuel.
- Zerelda Cole Samuel: What do you want them for?
- Jacob Rixley: For robbing banks, ma'am.”
James Whitmore Jr. - Mr. Jacob Rixley
Fran Ryan - Mrs. Zerelda Cole Samuel

“- Kermit the Frog: Now if we want to get Miss Piggy out of jail, we're gonna have to catch those thieves red-handed...yes, Beau?
- Beauregard: What color are their hands now?”

Jim Henson - Kermit the Frog
Dave Goelz - Beauregard

“- Julian Noble: An assassin without confidence is a horrible thing to behold. It's like a relief pitcher who fumbles the ball.
- Danny Wright: Please tell me you know you mixed two sports in a metaphor.”
Pierce Brosnan - Julian Noble
Greg Kinnear - Danny Wright

“What do you think you're doing? Putting up schools and nursing homes? You motherfucker's are heroin dealers.”

Mtume Gant - Reggie

“- Kent: I collect Deputy Sheriff's guns. Whenever I meet a new deputy, I ask him for his gun and I ask him real nice.
- Tom Destry Jr.: I'm sorry, Mr. Kent. I'm afraid this here's one gun your collection's going to be minus.”
Brian Donlevy - Kent
James Stewart - Tom Destry Jr.

Pay attention, because this is the best goddamn advice you're ever gonna get. Ever hear of something called double jeopardy? Fifth Amendment to the constitution? Huh? No? Well, double jeopardy provides that "no person may be tried for the same crime twice". You got that? Keep stirrin'. The state says you already killed your husband. They can't... (continue)(continue reading)
Roma Maffia - Margaret

“Racist? You dare call me racist? Well I say unto you, what does it matter the color of a man's skin if witnesses perjure themselves. If a prosecutor enlists the perjurers. When a district attorney throws a man to the mob for political gain, and men of the cloth, men of God, take the prime cuts? Is that justice?”
Morgan Freeman - Judge Leonard White

“- Sheriff Mooney: Promise me something there, will you?
- Clay Bidwell: What's that?
- Sheriff Mooney: Promise you'll stop finding dead people.”
Scott Wilson - Sheriff Dan Mooney
Joaquin Phoenix - Clay Bidwell

“I am not a crook!”

James Le Gros - Roach

- Ray Donlan: In Garrison, when the car you're gonna tag has got a PDA sticker, I'd advise you to think to yourself, "Hey, that's one of the good guys. I think I'll go catch me a bad guy".
- Deputy Cindy Betts: If we didn't pull over P.D., there wouldn't be any violations in this town.
Harvey Keitel - Ray Donlan
Janeane Garofalo - Deputy Cindy Betts

“Welcome home, baby! I say this to all of your things, for this is a robbery.”
Dave Willis - Ignignokt

“- Charlie: Wait... wait... wait!
- Gus: No, no, no, no, no, no, no! Rule number four: never return to the scene of the crime!
- Charlie: It's Josie's card, I left it by the phone.
- Gus: Rule number five, if your partner turns out to be an idiot, forget rule number four.”

David Schwimmer - Charlie
Simon Pegg - Gus

“There's nothing better for an arms dealer than a combination of disgruntled soldiers and warehouses full of weapons.”
Nicolas Cage - Yuri Orlov

“I don't know about homicide, but you've definitely got me for raising my voice in a public library.”
Liev Schreiber - Cotton Weary

“You want to know what my crime is? My crime was being born. I'm thirty-eight years old, and I've been locked up twenty-six of those. I educated myself in here, and I've come to understand that this country was built on exploiting the black man.”

Brent Jennings - Abdul Elijah

“My old man wrote me a letter from prison once. It said if you don't want to end up in here, stay away from crime, women and drugs. Trouble is, that don't leave you much else to do, does it?”
Danny Dyer - Frankie

“Criminals are people, too!”
Jay Mohr - Anthony 'Tony' Cortino

“You can't spend the rest of your life beating up people and robbing them! Why lower yourself? Don't you know you are the scum of society?”
Jackie Chan - Keung

“I am not a bus driver! I do not work for the bus company! All right? I... I needed a ride to New Mexico, so I stole this uniform! See this jacket? This is not my jacket! Remember Marty, the bus driver? Huh? This is his shirt! I stole it! And these pants, you think I'd wear these pants? These aren't my pants! These are Marty's pants. I stole...” (continue)(continue reading)

Cuba Gooding Jr. - Owen Templeton

“- Connie: Who would catch a criminal, and then let him go free?
- Mary: Republicans?”
Christine Baranski - Connie
Ellie Raab - Mary

“- First reporter: Say, do you know anything about electricity?
- S.B. Bellows: My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at State Prison.”
Jimmy Conlin - First reporter
W.C. Fields - S. B. Bellows