Holidays quotes

“- James Griswold: I've never even heard of the original vacation.
- Rusty Griswold: Doesn't matter. The new vacation will stand on its own.”
Skyler Gisondo - James Griswold
Ed Helms - Rusty Griswold

“- Sandra Roxbury: Fort Lauderdale is a zoo. It's full o' millions of guys who are just lookin' for animal sex and debauchery.
- Laurie Jameson: Exactly, that's why we're going.”
Wendy Schaal - Sandra Roxbury
Lynn-Holly Johnson - Laurie Jameson

“- Chief: The fate of the entire world is in your hands.
- Maxwell Smart: Oh no, not again. Well, ok this time, but next week I'm on vacation, Chief. If you get in trouble then, it's your ass.”
Dana Elcar - Chief
Don Adams - Maxwell Smart

“- Bruce Nolan: God doesn't take vacations. Does He?
- God: Did you ever hear of the dark ages?”

Jim Carrey - Bruce Nolan
Morgan Freeman - God

Hitler goes to a fortune-teller and asks, "When will I die?" and the fortune-teller replies, "On a Jewish holiday". Hitler then asks, "How do you know that?" and she replies, "Any day you die will be a Jewish holiday".
Robin Williams - Jakob

“You take me and I'll take a vacation. I'll need a vacation if we're going to get married.”

Groucho Marx - Rufus T. Firefly

“- Jimmy: You have a holiday when you want one.
- Mr. Swales: Your whole life is a holiday.”
Tony London - Jimmy
John Junkin - Mr. Swales

“Boys, the honeymoon's over. From now on you're marines.”
William Bendix - Pvt. Aloysius K. "Smacksie" Randall

“- Brannigan: You think you got problems? I gotta to take my wife and kids on vacation. I've got a plane to catch in 3 hours.
- Dooley: Plane? You said plane?
- Brannigan: But I ain't gonna catch the plane because I gotta wait here for the SWAT team.
- Dooley: Can I have the dog if I get you on the plane? You're airborne, you're airborne!
-...” (continue)(continue reading)
Ed O'Neill - Brannigan
Jim Belushi - Dooley

“Mind if I drive real slow on the way home? I'd like to pretend it's a vacation.”
Ashley Judd - Lexie Coop

“- Dutch Dooley: I told your mother I'd take you home for the holidays.
- Doyle Standish : I have plans.
- Dutch Dooley: You gonna stay here? Watch the football game on TV? Make a turkey sandwich and hang yourself in the toilet?”
Ed O'Neill - Dutch Dooley
Ethan Embry - Doyle Standish

“- Pearl: I prefer a warmer climate. I even lived in Australia for a year with my sister Faye, when Adam died, but I went nuts! It's dead there.
- Mike: I was in Sydney Australia once.
- Pearl: Was I lying? Did you like it?
- Mike: Well it was just a vacation you know. I was only there a couple of days.
- Pearl: Lucky. It's like a morgue. Nothing...” (continue)(continue reading)
Maureen Stapleton - Pearl
Sam Waterston - Mike

Parents alive, Gloucestershire, teachers. Him geography, her history. So holidays it would be "Dad, where are we? Mum, have we been here before?".
Juliet Stevenson - Nina

“- Richard Newton: Hey, Brennan. I bet all your friends are gonna be staying in hotels this summer. We're gonna sleep beside pristine lakes in the great outdoors, and the beauty of it is this rig has everything! So, you'll never even know you left home.
- Brennan Newton: That's just it, Dad: it's home, but smaller for two weeks.”
Judge Reinhold - Richard Newton
Joe Pichler - Brennan Newton

“- Dr. Leo Marvin: That patient, the one who called before, he committed suicide.
- Fay Marvin: Oh, Leo, how horrible.
- Dr. Leo Marvin: Oh well, let's not let it spoil our vacation.”
Richard Stephen Dreyfuss - Dr. Leo Marvin
Julie Hagerty - Fay Marvin

“- Ron: What about our weekend in the Catskills? I've already paid for the room!
- Ruby: Well, then you can go there and you can jerk off. Cause that's what you are - a real fuckin' jerk off!”
Joseph Lyle Taylor - Ron
Jennifer Esposito - Ruby

“- Tony Stark: Hmmm. Your eyes are red. Tears for your long lost boss?
- Pepper Potts: Tears of joy. I hate job hunting.
- Tony Stark: Yeah, well, vacation's over.”
Robert Downey Jr. - Tony Stark
Gwyneth Paltrow - Pepper Potts

“Sandra, we're going to Fort Lauderdale for ten days. All you need is a bikini, and a diaphram.”
Lynn-Holly Johnson - Laurie Jameson

“- Deli Man: How's the holidays?
- Tom Valco: Considering I got a pain in my ass about six feet tall in my house, all right!”
Ron Karabatsos - Deli Man
James Gandolfini - Tom Valco

“It says here the retail industry does 50% of its business between December 1st and December 25th. That's half a year's business in one month's time. It seems to me, an intelligent country would legislate a second such gift giving holiday. Create, say, a Christmas 2, late May, early June, to further stimulate growth.”
Danny Trejo - Jumpy

“- Arnie Klein: Listen, take a vacation. Go away for a couple of weeks. Take a month off.
- John: Go where?
- Arnie Klein: I dunno.
- John: I live in a vacation spot.
- Arnie Klein: Then go to someplace where it's painful and sad.”
Alan Arkin - Arnie Klein
Owen Wilson - John

“- Diane: I am going on vacation this weekend. Remember?
- Wayne: Of course I remem... I forgot.
- Diane: I am going on this vacation and nothing and nobody is going to stop me!
- Wayne: Boy, she does need a vacation.”
Eve Gordon - Diane
Rick Moranis - Wayne

“- Roman: You wanna cruise the lake in a pontoon boat? Or do you wanna ride the waves in a jet boat?
- Ben: Jet boat!! ... Sorry dad.”
Dan Aykroyd - Roman Craig
Ian Giatti - Ben Ripley

“- Pacha: We're on our honeymoon.
- Waitress: Bless you for coming out in public..”

John Goodman - Patcha
Patti Deutsch - Waitress

“The game is tailored specifically to each participant. Think of it as a great vacation, except you don't go to it, it comes to you.”

James Rebhorn - Jim Feingold