Hotel quotes

“If that's the Happiness Hotel, I'd hate to see what the sad one looks like.”

Frank Oz - Fozzie Bear

“- Daniel Miller: What is this?
- Julia: It's my hotel.
- Daniel Miller: This is your hotel?
- Julia: Where are you staying?
- Daniel Miller: Obviously at the place for people that weren't very generous and didn't adopt anybody. I'm at the Continental. Come over one day; we'll paint it.”
Albert Brooks - Daniel Miller
Meryl Streep - Julia

“- Hillary: I just want to get back to my hotel, but I can't remember the name!
- CC Bloom: Ritzy or Cheap?
- Hillary: I guess it's Ritzy.
- CC Bloom: Does it have a fountain in front, a pool inside, and a bunch of fruits in monkey suits playing violins in the lobby?
- Hillary: Yes! That's it!
- CC Bloom: You bet your ass it's Ritzy! It's the...” (continue)(continue reading)
Barbara Hershey - Hillary Whitney Essex
Bette Midler - CC Bloom

“Trump would be disappointed! You are leaving hotel without golden shower.”
Sacha Baron Cohen - Borat Sagdiyev

“You can’t turn the sink on when someone’s in the shower; this isn’t some fancy hotel!”
Jake Johnson - Nick Miller

“- Smoke: We need rooms tonight.
- Resort Clerk: I’m sorry, you need a reservation.
- Smoke: Excuse me.
- Resort Clerk: A reser…
- Smoke: Do you have any idea what I can do to you on TripAdivsor?”
Nathaniel Arcand - Smoke
Loretta Walsh - Resort Clerk

“- Honey: Libby, do you think that Pat Nixon got fucked in this hotel room?
- Libby: What?
- Honey: It is called the Presidential Suite, isn't it?
- Libby: Yes, but...
- Honey: I bet she did. Call the manager and ask him.
- Libby: I can't ask that! Pat Nixon was a stroke victim!
- Honey: I believe it is your job to ask, is it not? Now call...” (continue)(continue reading)
Melanie Griffith - Honey Whitlock
Ricki Lake - Libby

“- James Bond: Do you come with the suite?
- Manuela: It depends who's renting it. Vodka Martini? Shaken, not stirred.”
Sir Roger Moore - James Bond
Emily Bolton - Manuela

“- Elaine: It was in the Paramus Holiday Inn, I was having a drink at the bar, alone, and this alien approached me. He started talking to me. He bought me a drink, and then I think he must have used some kind of a ray or a mind control device because he forced me to follow him to his room and that's where he told me about the end of the world.
-...” (continue)(continue reading)
Chloe Webb - Elaine
Bill Murray - Dr. Peter Venkman

“- Mortdecai: What kind of hell-place is this? I feel as though we've made a wrong turn and arrived on the set of a pornographic film.
- Mortdecai: [To the Hotel clerk] Have we taken a wrong turn and arrived on the set of a pornographic film?”

Johnny Depp - Mortdecai

“- Kemp: So many hotels you can't see the sea.
- Lotterman: You can see the sea by checking into the hotels.
- Kemp: Pay to see the sea?
- Lotterman: What's the matter with that? You're paying to be in the dream...”
Johnny Depp - Kemp
Richard Jenkins - Lotterman

“- Lamarr: We've got movie stars in my hotel!
- Faye Dolan: They're musicians, actually.
- Lamarr: Even better!”
Obba Babatundé - Lamarr
Liv Tyler - Faye Dolan

“Never underestimate the charm of a seedy motel.”
Tom Cruise - Jack Reacher

“- Richard: Housekeeping, you want towel?
- Tommy: No towels. Need sleepy.
- Richard: Housekeeping, you want mint for pillow?
- Tommy: Please go away let me sleep for the love of God!
- Richard: Housekeeping, you want me jerk you off?
- Tommy: [gets out of bed] What kinda hotel is this?... [opens the door] Oh, it's you.”

David Spade - Richard
Chris Farley - Tommy

“It's not exactly the Ritz, but...”
Betsy Brown - Janice

“- Bellboy: [dropping newspaper on pile of unread ones outside a hotel room] How long they been in there?
- Hotel Maid: 5 days.
- Bellboy: That must be a hotel record.
- Hotel Maid: For a political convention. Honeymoon record's 9 days.”
Doris Roberts - Hotel Maid

“- Neal Page: Del... why did you kiss my ear?
- Del Griffith: Why are you holding my hand?
- Neal Page: [frowns] Where's your other hand?
- Del Griffith: Between two pillows...
- Neal Page: Those aren't pillows!”

Steve Martin - Neal Page
John Candy - Del Griffith

“Hello, American? The rooms here are made of cement. Very good in case of an air raid. But for those of us trying to get a bit of rest after an arduous crossing, a bit of an acoustic nightmare. So would you please stop grunting like wildebeests and allow me to get some sleep, man?”

Johnny Depp - Mortdecai

“- Richard Gecko: Well what do they got?
- Seth Gecko: They have four walls and a bed and that's all we need.”

Quentin Tarantino - Richard Gecko
George Clooney - Seth Gecko

“- Motel Manager: You were here once before, wasn't you? Lots of years back?
- Jesse Hooker: Yes, I get through here about once every 50 years. Make me a reservation.”

Billy Beck - Motel Manager
Lance Henriksen - Jesse Hooker

“- Robocop: Where's McDaggett?
- Hotel Desk Clerk: Room 212.
- Robocop: Thank you. I hope you are insured.”
Robert John Burke - Robocop
Tommy Chappelle - Hotel Desk Clerk

“You can check in, but you can't check out.”

Robert Englund - Freddy Krueger

“- Aisha: Wow. It's everything a girl can dream of. Do you have a bathroom?
- Clay: No, I specifically requested the only hotel room in the world that doesn't have a bathroom.”

Zoe Saldana - Aisha
Jeffrey Dean Morgan - Clay

“- Stuart Ullman: Four presidents, movie stars...
- Wendy Torrance: Royalty?
- Stuart Ullman: All the best people.”

Barry Nelson - Ullman
Shelley Duvall - Wendy Torrance

“- Susan Page: You shared a motel room with a complete stranger? Are you crazy?
- Neal Page: Not yet. But I'm getting there.”
Laila Robins - Susan Page
Steve Martin - Neal Page