Illegality quotes

“- Dexter Reed: When those people find out that you've been putting illegal stuff in their food, you're going to jail!
- Kurt Bozwell: That's why nobody outside of this room is going to find out.
- Dexter Reed: What do you expect us to do, keep our mouths shut?
- Kurt Bozwell: No, I'll shut them for you.”
Kenan Thompson - Dexter Reed
Jan Schweiterman - Kurt Bozwell

“- Principal Elliot T. Jindraike: You may be under the impression that I encourage horseplay and malarkey, you're wrong, I don't encourage it, I excourage it.
- Max Keeble: Excourage?
- Principal Elliot T. Jindraike: It means the opposite of encourage, look it up.”
Larry Miller - Principal Elliot T. Jindraike
Alex D. Linz - Max Keeble

“- Mark Kaminsky: You're under arrest.
- Fake State Trooper: For what?
- Mark Kaminsky: Impersonating a human being.”
Arnold Schwarzenegger - Mark Kaminsky
Norman Max Maxwell - Fake State Trooper

“- Betsy Jobs: Isn't it against the law to cut up the flag?
- Arlene Lorenzo: Not if you sew it back together.”
Kirsten Dunst - Betsy Jobs
Michelle Williams - Arlene Lorenzo

“- Eli Turnbull, INS Agent: If they are in fact aliens from another planet, sir, doesn't that make them Air Force jurisdiction?
- Gorman Seedling, INS Deputy Commissioner: If they're just visiting, sure. But the minute they try to work here, they're mine.”
David Spade - Eli Turnbull, INS Agent
Michael McKean - Gorman Seedling, INS Deputy Commissioner

- Kurt Bozwell: Triampathol is way illegal. But I'll tell you what, it sure makes burgers nice and enormo!
- Dexter Reed: But what happens to all those nice, innocent people when they eat your "enormo" burgers?
- Kurt Bozwell: Uh-oh. Don't care!
Jan Schweiterman - Kurt Bozwell
Kenan Thompson - Dexter Reed

“- Sheriff Loomis: I've been waitin' to catch you guys in the act. Been waitin' and watchin'.
- Packard Walsh: Congratulations. You caught us talking. There's no law against that, is there officer? Unless of course I got my wires crossed and you caught us speaking without a permit.”
Randy Quaid - Sheriff Loomis
Nick Cassavetes - Packard Walsh

“- Rusty Griswold: Is that a real gun, Mom?
- Ellen Griswold: I don't know, Rusty, but when this is all over, your father... may be going away for a little while.”
Anthony Michael Hall - Rusty Griswold
Beverly D'Angelo - Ellen Griswold

“- Nick Schaffer: This is the first illegal thing I've done in my adult life.
- Tracy Faucet: How does it feel?
- Nick Schaffer: I'm shaking. But that could be from the helicopter crash.”

Breckin Meyer - Nick Schaffer
Amy Smart - Tracy Faucet

“There's illegal gambling going on inside that truck!”
Terence Hill - Policeman Dave Speed

“- Jack Kelson: I gotta turn this around. Get some money quick.
- Charlotte: How are ya going to do that?
- Jack Kelson: Oh I got my ways.
- Charlotte: Are we going back to jailhouse correspondence?”
Jeff Bridges - Jack Kelson
Lucinda Jenney - Charlotte

“Oh, I forgot to tell 'ya. I'm running blocker for 400 cases of illegal booze!”

Burt Reynolds - Bandit

“- Vic Dumask: I don't know you, Mr. Mitchell. What can I do for you?
- John 'Johnny Handsome' Sedley: A laundry service. Could be five million dollars worth.
- Vic Dumask: That sounds illegal.
- John 'Johnny Handsome' Sedley: It is.”
David Schramm - Vic Dumask
Mickey Rourke - John 'Johnny Handsome' Sedley

“- Walter Sobchak: Let's not forget - let's not forget, Dude - that keeping wildlife, an amphibious rodent, for... domestic, you know, within the city - that ain't legal either.
- The Dude: What are you, a fucking park ranger now?”
John Goodman - Walter Sobchak
Jeff Bridges - The Dude

“- Lawrence Isabella: I haven't done anything illegal.
- Truman Gates: Oh really? Well I had an interesting talk with a fellow last night who claims different. My man says you were in the back of the truck when my brother was killed.”
Ben Stiller - Lawrence Isabella
Patrick Swayze - Truman Gates

“- James Cutter: Are you suggesting a course of action, sir?
- The President: The course of action I'd suggest is a course of action I can't suggest.”
Harris Yulin - James Cutter
Donald Moffat - The President

“Then I have to shoot you. Now, since we might be legally related someday, I'll give you the option of taking it on the backside. Won't hurt as bad.”

Ed O'Neill - Dutch Dooley

“- Kate Sullivan: Why so uptight? It's not illegal.
- Lawrence Garfield: It's immoral. A distinction with no relevance to lawyers. But it matters to me.”

Penelope Ann Miller - Kate Sullivan
Danny DeVito - Lawrence Garfield

“- Otto: Are you telling me you don't have a social security number?
- Beldar Conehead: Correct.
- Otto: Why not?
- Beldar Conehead: I am an illegal alien.”
Sinbad - Otto
Dan Aykroyd - Beldar Conehead