Job quotes

“Elaine, I am not your husband. I am... a Volvo Salesman.”
Gene Wilder - George

- Lloyd Christmas: My friend Harry and I are saving up to open our own pet store.
- Mary Swanson: That's nice.
- Lloyd Christmas: I got worms!
- Mary Swanson: I beg your pardon?
- Lloyd Christmas: That's what we're gonna call it. "I Got Worms"! We're gonna specialize in selling worm farms. You know, like ant farms.
Jim Carrey - Lloyd Christmas
Lauren Holly - Mary Swanson

“- Linda Howard: Even if I wanted to, my boss isn't here, there's no one I can quit to.
- David Howard: Well, it's time to get out. We have to touch Indians. We have to see the mountains and the prairies and the whole rest of that song. Let's make love right now. I want to have sex with you right here.”
Julie Hagerty - Linda Howard
Albert Brooks - David Howard

“- Lilo: Did you lose your job because of Stitch and me?
- Nani: Nah. The manager's a vampire. He wanted me to join his legion of the undead.
- Lilo: I knew it!”
Daveigh Chase - Lilo
Tia Carrere - Nani

“- Jack: Did you ever wanna be anything but a priest?
- Father Benedetto: Have you ever wanted to be anything other than a photographer?
- Jack: I do what I'm good at.”
George Clooney - Jack
Paolo Bonacelli - Father Benedetto

“- Jordan Belfort: [dubious] So if I, if I sell a stock at $10,000, my commission is 5,000 bucks.
- Dwayne: If you sell $10,000 worth of this stock, I will personally give you a blowjob for free [Jordan laughs] ... and I hope it happens.”
Leonardo DiCaprio - Jordan Belfort
Spike Jonze - Dwayne

“You know, you really shouldn't let people fill out applications if you don't want them to actually try to get a job here.”
Lisa Kudrow - Michele Weinberger

“- Apocalypse, Inc. Chairman: Who said minimum wage? Did I say minimum wage? Melvie, bubula, baby, what self-respecting, hideously deformed creature of super-human size and strength works for peanuts, hmmmm?
- The Toxic Avenger: Uh, none I guess.
- Apocalypse, Inc. Chairman: All these things I will give thee, if you will bow down and work for me.”
Rick Collins - Inc. Chairman
Ron Fazio - The Toxic Avenger

“- Chon Wang: He was the Keeper of the Imperial Seal.
- Roy O'Bannon: That's what I love about China. Everybody's job description sounds so damn cool!”

Jackie Chan - Chon Wang
Owen Wilson - Roy O'Bannon

“If I lose my job I gotta start all over again, but I got nothing to start over with. I'll be stuck with whatever I can get. And that shit is scarier than Ordell.”
Pam Grier - Jackie Brown

“- Sean: Give me your ride punk or I will dust your ass!
- PJ: Nope, not convincing, find your core charachter sean, you are an oppressed black man, Think Tupac! Try it again.
- Sean: Give me your ride punk or I will dust your ass!
- PJ: And a biotch and I think we got it!”
Taye Diggs - Sean James
Anthony Anderson - PJ

“- Officer Oaks: I'm not married.
- Jake Hayes: What, there's no Mrs. Spy?
- Officer Oaks: No, relationships and attachments are useless in this business.”
Philip Anthony Hopkins - Officer Oakes
Chris Rock - Jake Hayes

“Spy work, that's easy. Keeping a family together, that's difficult. And that's the mission worth fighting for.”
Alexa PenaVega - Carmen Cortez

“- John Hobbes: What are we here for? What do we do?
- Jonesy: Bottom line Hobbes: we catch bad guys, that's our job.”
Denzel Washington - John Hobbes
John Goodman - Jonesy

“- Joe Cabot: Nobody's trading with anybody. This ain't a goddamn, fucking city council meeting, you know? Now listen up, Mr. Pink. There's two ways you can go on this job: my way or the highway. Now what's it gonna be, Mr. Pink?
- Mr. Pink: Jesus Christ, Joe, fucking forget about it. It's beneath me. I'm Mr. Pink. Let's move on.
- Joe Cabot:...” (continue)(continue reading)

Lawrence Tierney - Joe Cabot
Steve Buscemi - Mr. Pink

“- Nat Serling: Did you want to become a medic?
- Monfriez: Wanted to hump a nurse once, does that count?”
Denzel Washington - Nat Serling
Lou Diamond Phillips - Monfriez

“Do many foreign agents register?”

Mark Rylance - Rudolf Abel

“People used to smile at work here. Designers used to stay up all night working together just to get one piece perfect. It felt like family.”
Chris Noth - Lee Kassell

“- Gallagher: I prefer one moon, you know? That way you know what to call it: The Moon.
- Lt. Ted Santen: More color commentary from the space janitor.
- Gallagher: The correct term is mechanical systems engineer.
- Chip Pettengill: ... but he will accept space janitor.”
Val Kilmer - Gallagher
Benjamin Bratt - Santen
Simon Baker - Pettengil

“- Lou Bloom: I'm promoting you to executive Vice President of video news.
- Rick: What am I now?
- Lou Bloom: You're an assistant.”
Jake Gyllenhaal - Lou Bloom
Riz Ahmed - Rick

“I get paid for what most kids get punished for. ”
Jerry Lewis

“It is the norm in our business to go through ‘breakups’ on a regular basis.”
Gregory Itzin

“What do you want with a job that ain't nothing but work?”
Marlon Wayans - Seymour Stewart

“I was thinking about the funny part. Here we are, oceanographers and we're gonna probably die in the desert, chained-chained to truck parts... so when they write our obituaries... that'll be the funny part.”

Steve Zahn - Al Giordino

“Honest work. Let me tell ya somethin' about 'honest work'. When somebody says they got 'honest work', you know what they got? They got a shit job, that's what they got.”
Mickey Rourke - Charlie