Kidnapping quotes

“- Professor Quincy Adams Wagstaff: Have you ever had any experience as a kidnapper?
- Baravelli: You bet. You know what I do when I kidnap somebody? First I call them up on the telephone, then I send them my chauffeur.”
Groucho Marx - Professor Quincy Adams Wagstaff
Chico Marx - Baravelli

“- Bud's Pizza Attendant: Uh, Miss, I think there's something in your trunk...
- Darla: Oh that's just somebody I got tied up back there.”
Loren Guerra - Bud's Pizza Attendant
Tonie Perensky - Darla

“- Woman Cop: Do you know what kidnapping her will get you?
- Ned Perry: Yeah, her.”

Lee Garlington - Woman Cop
Martin Hayter Short - Ned Perry

“- Big Bird: There's a lady named Miss Finch who's chasing me and, uh, do you mind if I hide in your fun fair?
- Sam Sleaze: Why, no, not at all. We have the perfect place for you to hide. Right here in our hiding cage.”

Caroll Spinney - Big Bird
Dave Thomas - Sam Sleaze

“In the name of people, and freedom, and democracy, and stuff like that, I hereby kidnap myself, and I'm taking this ship with me. Whoo!”
Sam Rockwell - Zaphod Beeblebrox

“- Fool: Listen Alice, they're not your real parents.
- Alice: What?
- Fool: They're not. They're not even husband and wife. They stole you, like they did Roach and all the others. They're a bunch of rotten baby snatchers.
- Alice: You're just saying that...
- Fool: My grandfather Booker told me. He wouldn't lie to me.”
Brandon Quintin Adams - Fool
A.J. Langer - Alice

“He steals our shit, kidnaps Julie, shoots at my wife. Oh, we beatin' him down. We beatin' him down!”
Martin Lawrence - Marcus Burnett

“Kidnappers always screw up. It's part of their make-up as a species.”
Emma Thompson - FBI Agent Sadie Hawkins

“That's my wife you got there! That's my planet you're blowing up! And that's... that's just some guy I met, but still, I think this thing has gone just a little too far!”

Jeffrey Jones - Dick Nelson

“- Velma: Oh please. You get kidnapped so much you should come with your own ransom note... My glasses. Where's my glasses?
- Daphne: Who's helpless now?”

Linda Cardellini - Velma
Sarah Michelle Gellar - Daphne

“- Sam Sleaze: That eight-foot bird is still on the lam. You know, Sid, people would pay money to see that bird.
- Sid Sleaze: Nah, I wouldn't pay to see no bird.
- Sam Sleaze: No, no, no. People would pay us to see that bird! Us, us, us!”

Dave Thomas - Sam Sleaze
Joe Flaherty - Sid Sleaze

“- Celine Naville: How much are you asking for?
- Robert Lewis: Half a million.
- Celine Naville: Half a million dollars is not a lot of money for a woman like me!
- Robert Lewis: I didn't mean it as a reflection of you as an individual!”
Cameron Diaz - Celine Naville
Ewan McGregor - Robert Lewis

“- Pacha: That's for going back on your promise!
- Kuzco: Yeah! And that's for kidnapping me and taking me back to your village! Which I'm still gonna destroy, by the way. Hehehe. No touchy!”

John Goodman - Kuzco
David Spade - Patcha

“- Le scaphandrier: He takes them. The Devil takes them away. In his boat... he takes them to Hell.
- Miette: What Hell?
- Le scaphandrier: The tattooed man: he knows where. The map... the map of the minefield is tattooed on his body.”

Dominique Pinon - Le scaphandrier
Judith Vittet - Miette

“The longest distance between two points is a kidnapper and his money.”
Ryan Phillippe - Mr. Parker

“- Longbaugh: You have too much faith in people.
- Parker: How can you kidnap somebody without it?”
Benicio del Toro - Harold Longbaugh
Ryan Phillippe - Mr. Parker

“- Kevin Hollander: Sam Baily! You have 5 minutes to let the hostages go!
- Sam: Damn. I wanted it to be my idea.”

Alan Alda - Kevin Hollander
John Travolta - Sam

“- Martin Kurtz: I trust you will not immediately foam at the mouth if I add that we are also Israeli citizens.
- Charlie: Israelis?
- Martin Kurtz: Unless it's your conviction that Israel should be swept into the sea. Is that your conviction Charlie?
- Charlie: Israelis, huh?
- Martin Kurtz: Do you feel you are among enemies here?
- Charlie: Oh...” (continue)(continue reading)
Klaus Kinski - Martin Kurtz
Diane Keaton - Charlie

“- Lamont Cranston: Do you have any idea who you just kidnapped?
- Tulku: Cranston; Lamont Cranston.
- Lamont Cranston: You know my real name?
- Tulku: Yes. I also know that for as long as you can remember, you struggled against your own black heart and always lost. You watched your sprit, your very face change as the beast claws its way out from...” (continue)(continue reading)
Alec Baldwin - Lamont Cranston
Brady Tsurutani - Tulku

- Dr. Philliam "Phil" Benedict: Oh, come now, Pete. There's no need to be rude. Not after I've instructed my men to provide you with special care.
- Principal Peter Prickly: Special care? That's what you call gagging me, tying me up, and taking away my pants?
James Woods - Dr. Philliam "Phil" Benedict
Dabney Coleman - Principal Peter Prickly

“- Dr. Grant: Why me?
- Paul Kirby: He said we needed someone who'd been on the island before.
- Udesky: Yes, but I did not tell you to kidnap somebody!”
Sam Neill - Dr. Alan Grant
William H. Macy - Paul Kirby
Michael Jeter - Udesky

- Dr. Richard Walker: You know what that means to me? He had his arm around her here, like this. He could have had a gun, like this. Pointed right at her. "Shut up! Smile! Walk! Out the lobby!". Huh, like this. Huh?
- Shaap: Yes, yes, it could mean that, or they could have just been having a good time.
- Dr. Richard Walker: Mr. Shaap, you're... (continue)(continue reading)

Harrison Ford - Dr. Richard Walker
Jimmie Ray Weeks - Shaap

“You want your wife back or what? Then relax, be cool and just walk. We'll give them what they want. You will get your wife, I'll get my money and everyone will be happy.”
Emmanuelle Seigner - Michelle

“- Eva: So, if you guys win a lot of money on the race tracks, you should come and try to kidnap me.
- Willie: We'll take you some place warm. This place is awful!”
Eszter Balint - Eva
John Lurie - Willie

What is the defense of kidnapping? How can you say, "I was crazy at the time"?
Jay Julien - Langford's Lawyer