Pornography quotes

“Sorry to interrupt your erection.”

Joe Piscopo - Doug Bigelow

“- Kimberly Wells: He's good, I think he's good. He's won a lot of awards.
- Don Jacovich: I'm sure. Hothead award, Foulmouth award, Can-of-worms award...”

Jane Seymour Fonda - Kimberly Wells

“- Bianca Piper: If this was a porn movie, we would not be sitting on a rock having a conversation, you know, you'd be bringing me a pizza or ehm... cleaning my pool.
- Wesley 'Wes' Rush: How old is the porn you are watching?... That is not a thing anymore.”
Mae Whitman - Bianca Piper
Robbie Amell - Wesley Rush

“80 percent of the work I do my kids can't see.”
Joe Pantoliano

“Why can't you just download porn like most normal teenagers?”
Christina Ricci - Ellie

“- Wesley 'Wes' Rush: That's how people kiss.
- Bianca Piper: Euhm... in porn, maybe.
- Wesley 'Wes' Rush: What's wrong with porn?”
Robbie Amell - Wesley Rush
Mae Whitman - Bianca Piper

“- Aggie Rockwell: You can't have a nympho do a porno, because then it wouldn't be acting, it would be real.
- Dwayne Hanson: That's the saddest thing I've ever heard.”
Suzy Amis - Aggie Rockwell
Kevin Spacey - Dwayne Hanson

“- Staff Sergeant William James: The DVD you sold me was crap.
- Beckham: You crazy, man. That's impossible. It's Hollywood special effects.
- Staff Sergeant William James: No. It was shaky. It was out of focus, buddy.
- Beckham: What, you want donkey porn?
- Staff Sergeant William James: It's crap.
- Beckham: Girls on dog? Gay sex, man? Anything...” (continue)(continue reading)
Jeremy Renner - Staff Sergeant William James
Christopher Sayegh - Beckham

“Charity work. I gather these for those less fortunate than myself who can't afford pornography.”
Mel Smith - Rocco Melonchek

“Hustler magazine depicts men and women posed together in a lewd and shameful manner. Hustler magazine depicts women and women posed in a lewd and shameful manner. Hustler magazine depicts Santa Claus posed in a lewd and shameful manner.”
James Carville - Simon Leis

“I talked to a real live pornstar... and she sounded naked!”
Ajay Naidu - Sanjay

“Yo, friends, check this out. Roscoe's the name and they call me the king Grandmaster of the chicken and the waffle thing. I said 'read my lips', and friends, don't miss a word 'cause the Grandmaster's gonna give you the bird!”
King Cotton - Roscoe

“- Susan Cooper: My real name is... Amber Valentine.
- Rayna Boyanov: What are you, a porn star?”
Melissa McCarthy - Susan Cooper
Rose Byrne - Rayna Boyanov

“- Kevin Sandusky - Hot LZ: Now, whichever format porno backs is usually the one that becomes the uh most successful. But, you know, Sony, every PlayStation 3 has a Blu-ray in it.
- Kirk Lazarus: You talkin' to me this whole time?
- Kevin Sandusky - Hot LZ: I was talking to whoever was listening.
- Kirk Lazarus: Jesus Christ, man!”

Jay Baruchel - Kevin Sandusky - Hot LZ
Robert Downey Jr. - Kirk Lazarus

“- Brennan Huff: You know what? I still hate you, but you got a pretty awesome collection of nudie mags.
- Dale Doback: Yeah, I got 'em from the 70's, 80's and 90's. It's like masturbating in a time machine.”
Will Ferrell - Brennan Huff
John C. Reilly - Dale Doback

“I'm not for pornography. I'm for nudity, but for the classic, beautiful, clean nude.”
Sylva Koscina

“- Tom Welles: Wouldn't want to embarrass yourself in front of your fellow perverts.
- Max California: That's right. I might get drummed out of the Pornographer's Union. Where would I be then?”

Nicolas Cage - Tom Welles
Joaquin Phoenix - Tom Welles

“- Valerie Weston: I'm gonna go home, Steven. That's right. I'm serious. Because of you, I'm gonna get gangbanged, Steven. Gangbanged in Woodland Hills.
- Steven Schats: A lot of great actresses started out in porn.”
Calista Flockhart - Valerie Weston
Matthew Broderick - Steven Schats

“- Jodi Chang: Assblasters. How's that?
- Jack: Sounds like a porno film.”

Susan Chuang - Jodi Chang
Shawn Christian - Desert Jack Sawyer

“You and I are mature adults; we've both seen our share of pornographic materials. Oh, you never have? Of course you haven't, how stupid of me. Neither have I. I was just speaking in generalities. Right. I'll stop by the school a little later, Sister Margaret. Bye.”

Fred Willard - Ed Harken

“Come on I'm sick of these stupid educational films man! Where are the ones with the naked women?”

Frank Welker - Munchie

“- Dexter: This doesn't look like my mom.
- Erik: These aren't moms. These are women. This is what they're supposed to look like.”

Joseph Mazzello - Dexter
Brad Renfro - Erik

Customs held up another order of books at the border. They're claiming the books are pornographic... hello? Which they aren't. Well, maybe "Butches in Chains" is, but so what?
Marya Delver - Carla

“- Lou Redwood: Well, he sat on the bench, right? I mean, if you watch a porn movie, doesn't mean you got laid.
- Dick Pepperfield: No. No, in fact it often means the opposite.”

Will Arnett - Lou Redwood
Andrew Daly - Dick Pepperfield

“- Calvin: Don't forget: stay out of the adult bookstore.
- Adam: Adult bookstore. Why?
- Calvin: Poison gas. Invisible.”
Christopher Walken - Calvin
Brendan Fraser - Adam