Pornography quotes

“- Older Porn Actress: They should've done DVDA.
- Joe Young: DVDA?
- Older Porn Actress: Double-vaginal double-anal. It's the only way a woman of my age will get work in this industry. If you don't think that splits me open like a turkey on Thanksgiving...”
Cathy Fitzpatrick - Older Porn Actress
Trey Parker - Joe Young

“- Lisa: You pig, you're responsible for degrading all of those women.
- Clark: Equally degradable in pornographic films.”

Robyn Lynne Raab - Lisa
Ron Jeremy - Clark

“- Larry Flynt: That's just the disguise for censorship. This country belongs to me just as much it belongs to you, if you don't like Hustler Magazine, don't read it.
- Simon Leis: I don't but what about our innocent children that gaze upon it in our grocery stores?
- Larry Flynt: If a kid gets caught drinking beer in a tavern, we don't ban...” (continue)(continue reading)
Woody Harrelson - Larry Flynt
James Carville - Simon Leis

“- Tyler Durden: Why would anyone want this shit job?
- The Narrator: Because it affords him other interesting opportunities.
- Tyler Durden: Like splicing single frames of pornography into family films.”

Brad Pitt - Tyler Durden
Edward Norton - The Narrator

...And how does it feel to be called "the biggest star fucker in the business"?

Lisa Arch - XTV Reporter

Here's one: Eager Beaver! I once did a film called "Beaver Patrol" about these Boy Scouts who find drunk Girl Scouts in the woods and they take them into a cabin and they reach into their packs and they pull out these dildos and then...

Mira Sorvino - Linda Ash

“I got fired yesterday for filming up my boss's skirt. I told her it was for a documentary called what the ground sees. Oddly enough, she didn't buy it.”
Josh Gad - Neil

“- Billy Madison: Man, why did I have so many drinks? I can't remember! What's today?
- Frank: October?
- Billy Madison: It's Nudie Magazine Day!!”
Adam Sandler - Billy Madison
Norm MacDonald - Frank

“I've seen better acting on porno.”
Leonard Earl Howze - Mark

I spent 5 hours with this guy ramming his dick up my ass and these two women licking my clit. Not what you expect, though - it's just acting. At first, it was great. And then you have some prick director who comes over and yells "Cut!" in your face and some queen make-up artist who comes over every couple of minutes to touch up the make-up... (continue)(continue reading)

Paulina Porizkova - Dallas

“- Francine Fishpaw: I'll never be able to show my face in church again! I'll be excommunicated because of you!
- Elmer Fishpaw: Stop that yammering and fix me a drink!”

Divine - Francine Fishpaw
David Samson - Elmer Fishpaw

“If there's one thing older than art, it's pornography.”
Joan Severance - Marla Stewart

“- Kevin Swain: So what are these films you're in?
- Dave Shilling: Ah, forget about it.
- Kevin Swain: Go on.
- Dave Shilling: Technically, it's what you call pornography.”
Stephen Campbell Moore - Kevin Swain
Daniel Mays - Dave Shilling

“- The Killer: [reading pornography magazine] Nice breasts...
- Drew Decker: What do you want?
- The Killer: I wanna see what your insides look like.
- Drew Decker: Then turn to page 54.”
Dave Sheridan - The Killer
Carmen Electra - Drew Decker

“- Quentin: What do you live for? Do you have a wife, or a girlfriend, or something?
- Worth: Nope. I've gotta pretty fine collection of pornography.”
Maurice Dean Wint - Quentin
David Hewlett - Worth

“- Screen Voice #1: Look! An alien!
- Screen Voice #2: Yeah. We'd better have sex with each other.
[Sam McKenna discreetly looks at the screen]
- Mitch Weaver: Note to self: Sam just looked at the screen.”

Norm MacDonald - Mitch Weaver

“- Leah: Would you like to share something personal with the crew? Robert... Uh... Ro-berta.
- Roberta: Personal?
- Leah: Mm.
- Roberta: Well, uh, my name is Roberta, and... I'm addicted to porn and I masturbate constantly.”

Melissa Sagemiller - Leah
Harland Williams - Doofer

“Two's company, and three's an adult movie.”
John Turturro - Roland T. Flakfizer

“- Interviewer: What's the difference between Orgazmo and your previous porn titles, like Schindler's Fist?
- Maxxx Orbison: I really think history will describe Orgazmo better than I possibly could.”
Ben Patrick Johnson - Interviewer
Michael Dean Jacobs - Maxxx Orbison

“300,000 pages of code. Or 60 minutes of triple-X rubber-and-leather bondage porno. Technology can be used for beauty, or debasement. And until you plug it in, you'll just never know.”
Eric Bogosian - Travis Dane

“- Alex: So, ladies, I kind of need to use the televis...
- Grace: Shh! Go read your Playgirl or something!”
Allen Covert - Alex
Shirley Jones - Grace

“What's the point in having an Internet connection if you're not using it to look up weird, fucked-up pictures of dirty sex you'll never have yourself?”
Jeff Anderson - Randal

“- Holden McNeil: You've got like thirty books there! We're only going to be gone for two days!
- Banky Edwards: Variety's the spice of life. I like a wide selection. Sometimes I'm in the mood for nasty close-ups, sometimes I like them arty and air-brushed. Sometimes it's a spread brown-eye kind of night, sometimes it's girl-on-girl time....” (continue)(continue reading)

Ben Affleck - Holden McNeil
Jason Lee - Banky Edwards

“- Coulmier: But why must you indulge in his pornography?
- Madeleine: It's a hard days' wages slaving away for madmen, what I've seen in life - it takes a lot to hold my interest.”
Joaquin Phoenix - Coulmier
Kate Winslet - Madeleine

“- Louise: Oh, I don't know, there's got to be some way we can make money.
- Elaine: We can make porno films and all wear ski masks.”
Jessica Lange - Louise
Jane Curtin - Elaine